


Need is just a word

by masterlokisev159



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War Fix-It, Hugs, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Rescue, Sick Tony Stark, Sickfic, Tony Needs a Hug, panthers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:26:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterlokisev159/pseuds/masterlokisev159
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A month has gone by since the war and Tony has never felt more alone. of course, with the unrest within the government, the disappearance of the Avengers and the obvious lack of Steve Rogers, it was only a matter of time before the UN finally flipped out and decided to act on the last available Avenger. Too bad they didn't realise a promise had been made by Captain America to be there when Iron man needed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently saw Civil war and it was awesome! My Stony feels were on fire and I got this idea for a fanfic.  
> I haven't written any fics for a long time (years) so any comments would be very much appreciated-how else can I give you guys what you want? :D  
> Tell me what you think and whether I should keep going and hopefully we can all turn into a pile of Stony mush together!

The phone was still there. He'd checked about three times in the last hour so he was pretty sure it was still there, right in the third draw of his desk he'd hidden it in. It was still there. Definitely.

It wouldn't hurt to check one more time though.

Screech. Tap.

Yup. Still there.

Staring at the outdated flip phone in his hand for the fourth time now in the hour was Tony Stark, the most exhausted and quite honestly, strung out human currently making amends with the government. Well making amends was kind of a nice way of saying he was trying to keep them from setting his compound on fire. Because they were that close to storming the place and demanding some answers. His voicemail was kind of being owned by Ross right now.

'Mr.Stark this is General Ross, you are being called in for your statement by the UN in two weeks time.'

'Mr. Stark, it has been a week and you have not yet given correspondence as to whether or not you will be meeting with the UN to discuss recent events regarding Captain Rogers and the remaining avengers.'  
'Stark, you missed the meeting and the UN are filing a case for disregard of the law. This can be avoided if you simply disclose information. Where is the location of Captain Rogers and the avengers? We know you must have had some form of contact with him.'

The first message had come through three days after Tony had gotten the letter and phone from Steve. And the last message had come through five days ago so it had been twenty-two days since he'd been given the phone. And hadn't so much as turned it on. Instead, the moment he'd finished reading the letter, he'd grabbed it and chucked it into the nearest empty draw on his desk and wandered off to spend some time with Rhodey during physio. That same night he'd walked passed the desk and wandered up to his bed only to remember that the letter was still on his desk in plain sight. And come to think of it, so was the shield. And that phone was still in the draw.

  
Which was why, twenty-two days later, Tony was standing by the same desk that had been reinforced with steel alloy locks to prevent anyone from opening it without a his fingerprints.

  
As Tony placed the phone gently back into its designated compartment of the desk, he thought about the letter and what Steve had planned. He wouldn't have written that letter otherwise and he wouldn't have given him a phone which he could easily use to track him. Surely Steve knew that he could do it with just a phone call? He wouldn't even have to say anything, he could just ring it and wait for someone to pick up. It was so simple.  
And yet he hadn't.

  
Tony hadn't told Ross or the UN or any government body about it-he didn't dare after the stunt they pulled with prison cells for his team, his family. After that, he couldn't trust the government and neither could Rhodey or Vision since they also hadn't mentioned the phone to anyone. Although Rhodey did tend to call him Tony Stank nowadays. Thanks a lot post guy.

  
"You actually gonna use that at some point or are you just gonna stare at the steel for another month?"

  
Tony turned around and stood up when he heard the familiar voice and took a deep breath. He was greeted with a familiar face he hadn't seen in a month and for some reason, it made him smile slightly.

  
"You shouldn't be here Natasha."

  
The Black Widow smiled back at him calmly before walking up to him to face him. She looked well with all the things that had happened and Tony guessed she was probably enjoying her time with Clints family. That's where she said she'd gone after the whole mess. Probably because she thought Clint would go back there soon enough.  
Ignoring the pleased but confused look on his face, she put her hand on his cheek gently and looked at him carefully.

"Tony, how are you? Are you alright?"

  
That actually caught him off guard for a minute and his smile faded. Was he alright? How was he?

  
"Well...I miss people... but I'm fine, how are you? Kids still treating Aunt Tasha well? They dress up as black panther for a birthday party yet?" His earlier genuine smile had somehow molded into a fake PR one that actually felt so brittle he was worried it would break right there and then. He couldn't afford to have another breakdown here. He'd already had enough of those to last a lifetime and besides, Natasha was concerned about him. That had to mean something.

  
Natasha however wasn't looking very pleased at all. She just sort of glared hard at him and dropped her hand from his face before pointing at the draw behind him.

  
"Why haven't you used it yet?"

  
"Used what?"

  
"The phone that Steve sent you. You could at least check it works."

  
His hands shook as he clenched them and his heart skipped a beat. A rush of fear shot through him before he calmed down and remembered. This was Nat, his friend who was on his side more or less. It was okay if she knew about the phone as long as no one else did.

  
"How do you know about-"

  
"All of us know about it. Steve told us to make sure it was delivered to you. And make sure you kept it with you." she sighed as she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

  
"Why would he do that? And why me?" His eyes widened slightly with surprise and despite everything he had been telling himself he had that compulsion to pick up the phone and call Steve again. Why him? And why did he tell all the Avengers? And why did he say to keep it with him?

  
"If you want to know, call him at some point. But I think you should head to bed before anything else. You may say you're fine but believe me Tony, you're looking way too run down. I'm pretty sure that's not what Steve wants."

  
"Who care what he wants. It's not like he actually cares." He breathed out and turned to face the desk but not before a hand grasped his shoulder making him face Natasha's gaze, eyes piercing .

"You should really call him. Tony."

  
The engineer blinked once before nodding slowly. There was something wrong that she wasn't telling him. He could see it in the way she was staring at him. Like her eyes were glued to him.

  
"Natasha? Is everything okay?"

  
She didn't say anything for a moment but then seemed to consider the statement.

  
"Yes everything's okay. Just call him Tony."

  
When he watched her take the lift down to Rhodeys floor, he thought about her visit. Why would Natasha visit him now after a month just to tell him about the phone? It didn't make sense.  
Something about Natasha's expression worried him. Was it just him or did she look scared?  
He wasn't sure how he felt about that and decided it didn't matter then anyway. He's probably forget in a few days and continue to bounce between government agencies, his best friend's medical treatment and an android that spent most of his time distracted.

  
"Lights out Friday."

  
"Yes boss."

* * *

It took three whole days before Tony finally broke and turned on the phone. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Nat's visit and couldn't help the growing feeling of fear. Natasha had looked worried and that usually meant someone was in trouble and Tony didn't want to even consider Steve and the others being captured again. No, he had to make sure they were okay.

  
Taking a deep breath and loosening his grip on the keypad, he went into the contacts of the phone and found one solitary number with the name 'Nomad'. Obviously Steve's attempt at being subtle which made Tony want to laugh. What kind of alias was that?  
He pressed call and held the outdated block to his ear, waiting for an answer.

  
A few rings and there was a click, then Tony could hear breathing on the other end. He swallowed and tried to ignore the horrible feeling of sweat trailing down the back of his neck. He shivered. He really needed a haircut.

  
"S-Steve?"

  
There was a sharp intake of breath and then-

  
"Tony."

  
For some reason, he could feel his eyes start to sting. He thought he was over this, he thought he had accepted everything with Steve and James and his mo-  
A sob escaped despite his trying to not show it and before he knew it, tears were flooding his eyes and he gasped. He just wanted-

  
"Tony? Tony, are you there?"

  
It was more than he could take, more than he deserved. He wanted to be by Steve's side again, along with the others. He wanted that back, even if just for a short while, surely he'd tried hard enough to keep things together? But Steve had left him behind with a letter and an old piece of technology.  
He'd been left behind because no one wanted him. And wasn't that usually how it was with him? First his parents, then Stane, then Pepper and the Avengers and finally Steve who didn't care what happened to him-

  
"Tony, for gods sake say something or else I'll-!"

  
He felt so so tired. All of a sudden it actually didn't matter. What difference did it make what he did in the end? He'd lost everything and cost his best friend his legs in the process. He'd torn everyone apart. He should've just agreed with Steve-

  
"-I don't know, he's not listening to me but I can hear him-"

  
Clearing his throat lightly, he spoke as if on autopilot. He felt numb as he blinked and stared at the window, trying to picture what Steve may have been looking at wherever he was.

  
"I'm sorry for everything Steve..."

  
That actually stopped all the chatter on the other side.

  
"Tony no, it wasn't your fault-I should have told you. I shouldn't have kept it from you. Don't blame yourself, just-just relax okay? Sleep. Get some shut eye."

  
"Yeah. Okay." He didn't know why but he felt so tired. Maybe he just didn't want to deal with it all anymore. He needed to sleep. What time was it?

  
"Tony? Did you hear me?" For some reason, the captain sounded worried.

  
"Yeah Steve." This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have called.

  
There was a brief silence as Tony went into his room and got changed into a black tank top and sweatpants and eventually just sunk onto the covers not bothering to get under them. The phone lay beside him and he picked it back up.

  
"Tony? Are you still there?"

  
"Yeah. It's me."

  
"I'm glad you called me. I was getting worried."

  
For some reason that didn't make sense to him. He scrunched his eyes tight and waited for the lights to go dim in his room, curling up on his bed.

  
"I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."

  
"I left you with a phone for a month and until now, you haven't contacted me. Forgive me if I was a little concerned."

  
"I'm fine."

  
"The more you say that the more worried I get, you know that?"

  
"Sorry."

  
"Okay stop apologising. You've done nothing wrong."

  
"...Okay."

  
There was another awkward silence of just breathing being heard before Steve sighed and shifted.

  
"Tony, what do you need?"

  
Need? It was such an awful word. It made him feel like a burden. An extra set of problems no one wanted. Actually Tony wasn't quite sure why he had bothered calling in the first place now. If it hadn't been for Natasha he probably wouldn't have.

  
"Natasha told me to call. She said I should."

  
There was a slight rustling on the other end before Steve spoke quietly.

  
"You-I-yeah. She was right. I'm glad you did. Really glad. Actually I want you to do something for me."

  
Tony would be lying if he said this conversation made sense. Why had he even called? Steve was probably busy anyway and just because he missed Steve and his friends, didn't mean he had the right to intrude like this. He-

  
"I want you to carry this phone with you wherever you go. At least until this whole mess is sorted out."

  
Despite trying to not care, that still made Tony curious.

  
"Wh-what would be the point in that?"

  
There was a faint muttering from Steve's end again. "Just do this for me. I want you to. Don't you want to talk?"

  
"Uhm yeah. Sure why not."

  
He would have imaged Steve nodding in that moment before answering."Good. That's... Yeah just make sure...you know what, call me as soon as you can tomorrow okay? Get some sleep and then we'll talk. How's that sound?"

  
Even though he didn't have a reason to, Tony still smiled a little. He could almost pretend Steve wanted to talk to him and wasn't doing this out of pity. Could almost pretend nothing was wrong.

  
"Yes. Goodnight."

  
"Goodnight Tony."

* * *

 When he woke up the next morning, he was very confused. For one thing, he'd called Steve yesterday and hardly been able to string a full sentence together which sucked. And the other thing, was that calling Steve again was on the agenda. Great.

  
"Friday, what are Rhodey and Vision doing?"

  
"They are currently in the kitchen eating breakfast if you'd like to join them."

  
"Thanks Friday."

  
Tony quickly got ready and made his way there, trying desperately to ignore his conversation from yesterday. He'd not planned to do that so why had he? Yes he'd been exhausted but still...

  
"Hey Tones. You alright?" His best friend watched him carefully as he sat down opposite him on the sofa. The same sofa the whole team had sat on when they'd all first listened to Ross about the accords. That was back then. Before.

  
"Tony?"

  
He shook his head slightly and smirked. "Morning hey! How was it with Nat yesterday? She say anything important?"

  
Rhodey sighed and leaned back and both men listened to the sound of Vision cooking some breakfast in the background. Tony felt like stopping him, it wasn't like anyone actually felt hungry these days.

  
"I thought it was strange that Nat turned up here. Why now, after a month would she suddenly appear?" Rhodey said. Vision floated across, gently laying down several plates of toast, eggs and bacon before drifting back to the kitchen. There was also some orange juice. Of course. They didn't want to die of scurvy did they?

  
"I don't know. But she knows about the phone."

He tried not to think about the current added weight in his pocket. He was just keeping it till he put it back in the desk.  
Rhodey raised an eyebrow as he scooped up some eggs into a plate. "That's actually not that surprising. Of course she'd know. Did she tell you to use it?"

  
"Yes. She...Vision, what is that?" Both men stared at the red curry splodge on the plate in Visions hand. Tony could swear he could see the red bleeding out of it from where he was sat.

  
"It's a paprika based dish." The android for some reason, looked very ashamed. "It's actually paprika this time."

  
"Wanda..." Rhodey whispered as he took the plate and gently set it down. Tony's eyes followed the dish and stared for a moment. Sometimes he forgot that even the tiniest things were a reminder. No, actually that was wrong, he never forgot. He only closed his eyes to it mostly, turned a blind eye. But he wasn't the only one damaged from this entire war.

  
Abruptly, he stood up, holding his hands behind him, to hide the shaking. "I'm going to my room. I need to sort something out." He barely waited for a reply and quickly turned towards the door, away from two more people he'd hurt with his ignorance.

  
"Tony..."

  
"I'll see you later." He left ignoring the near-silent "Sir." and headed to his room. A crushing disappointment came over him. The morning had ended just like every other one. He'd turned his back on his friends. Why couldn't he do better?

  
He sighed shakily and dropped onto the floor, huddled and back pressed against the wall. Desperately fighting back a sob, he buried his head in his arms and cried silently for a good half an hour. This horrible, overwhelming feeling of resentment, hatred and desperation. All three directed at himself, haunting him and no matter what he did, he always seemed to end up alone and crying at his mistakes. The world really was better off without him-

  
A sharp ring, tore through his thoughts and he jolted at the sound. No, not just a ring-vibrations. The phone. Tony swallowed carefully and shoved his hand down his pocket to grab the phone. Why now? He just couldn't deal with it right now!

  
His hand tense, he flipped open the phone and snarled. "What!?"

  
"...is this a bad time?"

  
It was Steve. Of course it was him. Because he gave him the fucking phone.

  
"Yes it is. What do you want?"

  
"I was worried about you yesterday. You hadn't called back yet and you didn't sound okay so I just wanted to see how you were doing."

  
That actually made Tony laugh for a moment which then turned into hysterical giggling. He actually sounded concerned, what a joke! "Well, that's really sweet Steve. Thanks for checking in!" He laughed down the phone, pulling his knees closer to his chest and ignoring the increasing sting in his eyes. Everything hurt but this was kind of funny, hell it was the funniest thing he'd heard in weeks.

  
"Are you alone right now?"

  
No. Obviously not, he had his family with him right? "No Steve, of course not." For some reason the hint of sarcasm in his voice made him laugh harder. God he probably sounded crazy but who cared? Who. Cared?

  
"Tony, where's Rhodey? I want you to find him and-"

  
"FUCK YOU STEVE! I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

  
And there. There it was. The fear, the hate, the bitter loneliness finally lashing out at the cause of it all. Steve had left him. His teammate, his Friend, the man he would've trusted with his life had walked away and taken his family and friends with him. And left him to pretty much die.

  
The silence on the other end of the phone was almost painful to listen to.

  
"...I'm so sorry, Tony. "And the phone cut off.

  
Why couldn't he have just taken him with him? Or better yet, actually killed him that day?  
He dropped the phone and went back to tucking himself away from the world. There wasn't any point anymore. He was reaching his breaking point and now even Steve had nothing to say to him.

  
He'd stopped laughing. Now there were just silent tears on his cheeks.

* * *

"Boss, general Ross is in the foyer. He is requesting your presence."

  
Tony looked up from the tablet in his hand and closed his eyes, trying to fight off the headache. It had been another week since his breakdown in his room. In that time, he'd made some mild improvements to the prosthetics for Rhodey, built up schematics for a new suit, made a new retractable bow and had developed a newer, more concealable widow bite to go around the wrists and ankles. He'd locked up the phone and had tried to ignore it since then.

  
Sighing, he pushed himself away from his desk and made his way down. As he stepped out of the lift towards the general, a brief idea came to him for some falcon wings. Maybe if he worked on the retractability of the corner joints, he could-

  
"Stark. It's been weeks since we last spoke. Why have you been ignoring the calls?"

  
General Ross stood in front of him, posture tall and demanding. Behind him were five guards all decked in black and holding different sized guns that seemed way too excessive for Tony. What did the guy think would happen, that he'd need some guards to follow him around?

  
"I've been busy. Sir." Tony tried to hide his grimace. Respect for authority never came easily to him.

  
"You have blatantly ignored the UN's summons, not to mention, you have done nothing to aid the search for the hostiles. And especially that criminal Rogers." Ross was frowning at him now. But seriously, hostiles? That was his team he was insulting, war or not. And Steve was _not_ a criminal.

  
Standing his ground, the engineer squared his shoulders and before he could stop himself, shot back. "Don't call them that. The Avengers have never been anything less than heroes and Steve was never a criminal ever."

  
Shit. Shit shit shit. Why couldn't he keep his mouth shut? He was already treading dangerously as it was.

  
"Mr. Stark, am I to believe you have been compromised?" Then Ross' eyes narrowed at him, studying him closely and he took a step closer to the genius.  
"Have you been in contact with Steve Rogers in this time?"

  
Tony was excellent at lying. He always had been because he knew how to clamp down any emotions. But for some reason a terrible feeling of fear welled up inside him and the urge to check that the phone, letter and shield was still in place was nearly overwhelming. He felt like he was gonna be sick and he could feel himself sweating.

  
"No. Of course not, why would he talk to me? He hates me remember?"

  
That phone was still in that locked compartment. But if they started searching they could notice-

  
"Captain Rogers may have pushed back when it came to the accords Mr. Stark, but don't try and kid me into believing he doesn't care about you. It would not surprise me to find out he has attempted to contact you."

  
Tony swallowed carefully and raised his hands, giving his best unimpressed look. "Really? You clearly don't have a clue about Rogers at all do you? He doesn't want anything to do with me and I think he's made it pretty clear."

  
There was a pause in the conversation where Tony just stared back at Ross as if almost daring him to disagree. He just hoped Ross couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest right now. Eventually the general stepped back but spoke.

  
"Very well. If the captain has not made contact then there is not much to be said. But if we find that you have had _any_ hand in assisting Rogers, do not doubt that we will come for you first Stark."

  
Ross strode out, his guards following behind in and trail and Tony wanted to lie down. That had been far more stressful than usual but Ross wasn't joking. That was a warning and next time, it would be an arrest.

* * *

 "So you're saying Ross just threatened you?"

  
"Yup."

  
"And you're not gonna do anything?"

  
Rhodey spoke as he carefully made his way through the physio exercise. Tony stood on alert at all times, ready to catch Rhodey if he fell. Because he was clearly better at catching Rhodey than anyone else.  
Because he was the worst fucking person in the world that he'd let Rhodey get hurt when he himself was still standing just fine. That he'd failed to catch Rhodey when he needed to.

  
"I'm not going to do anything."

  
His friend paused and stared up at him. "Tony, you have to at least come up with a backup plan. They seem pretty serious about this. What if they arrest you?"

  
He shrugged. Wasn't that an idea? "If they do, it'll be for good reasons."

  
"Really? Because from where I'm standing it looks like you're just too busy blaming yourself to actually defend yourself. How many times do I have to tell you, this isn't your fault!"

  
Rhodey was trembling with exertion from the workout but he kept going. Sometimes Tony wished he had that level of determination. That he could just pick himself up and keep going.

  
"Rhodey, just don't."

  
"Tony-"

  
"Please." He ducked his head and whispered alost hearing Rhodeys heart break at seeing his best friend beg. This wasn't like him, he knew that. He was behaving like someone who had been abandoned and blamed themselves for being left behind. He was breaking apart and Rhodey could see it.

  
"You need to tell Steve what's happening with you and Ross."

  
Tony shook his head, adamant and crossed his arms. "He doesn't need to know."

  
"He wouldn't want you to be hurt for his decisions Tony."

  
"He doesn't need to hear it."

  
"I can't help you Tony, but he can!"

  
"Don't you see! It's my fault you can't help me! It's all my fault!" Rhodey watched in horror as tears started to well up and fall down Tony's cheeks. He'd known Tony had been crying, whenever he came out of his room and his eyes were red, it was obvious. Rhodey had to be able to tell. But Tony had always been careful to hide when it actually happened. Rhodey didn't need to see this.

  
"Hey it's not your fault."

  
The Iron Avenger swiped angrily at his cheeks and stepped back.

  
"You're nearly done with this session. I'll send Vision down."

  
He turned and ran far from Rhodey who just watched with his own tears.

He'd never wished so hard for his legs to work if only just to be able to chase after his friend.

* * *

The next few nights were hard for Tony, who slept in and out due to nightmares. Sometimes they were about Rhodey and the team. Other times, they were about his mother and the winter soldier. He didn't dream about Steve anymore.

  
Today was yet another day of modifications. More suit fabrications, more armour for Natasha and Wanda and a new comm for Scott Lang.  
Finally, after a full day in the lab, he took a short break to get some water. As he walked towards the kitchen, he mistimed a step and knocked into the desk.

  
"Ow!" He rubbed at his knee and turned, remembering something he'd desperately been trying to forget.  
He knew how this went. He'd stand there for ten minutes, staring at the desk and then the door and then he'd open the draw and pull out that piece of shit he called a phone when he knew no one would walk in.  
"Shit." He cursed and decided to save time and pull out the phone straight away. Untouched and cool in his hand, he held it there before Friday spoke.

  
"Boss, it appears there's been a breach to the complex from the rear entrance."

  
"Do we have visual? Can you give me the exact coodinates?"

  
"Boss there's-"

  
Silence.

  
"Friday? Hey!?" The lights went out and the entire place darkened within seconds. The only light was an orange evening glow coming from one of the windows in the other room.  
Cursing, he ran past the corridors to the stairs. Without power, the lifts wouldn't work so he had to take the stairs down and make his way round to the armoury. But the route would probably mean an encounter with the burglar.

Activating his watch, he pulled the wrist piece of armour around his hand and felt it click into place. At least he had some way of defending himself till he got to the armour and rebooted Friday.

  
Wait, what was he gonna do about Rhodey and Vision? Suddenly he remembered Rhodey mentioning he wanted to go to the nearest coast for the day since he'd been making good process with his prosthetics and Vision would accompany him since no civilians lived in this area.  
But that meant he was alone in the entire facility. He had to be careful.

  
As he reached the ground floor and continued to run past several bedroom doors (he knew who's but didn't have time to think), he heard a soft snick and paused. There were footsteps headed his way. He pressed himself up against the wall and slowly made him way into the dark room next to him, easing the door closed behind him. When he turned, he felt the urge to groan. Wanda's room didn't really have much for coverage but at least the wardrobe was there. But was he really gonna hide in his teammates _clothes_?

  
"He's here somewhere. I heard him." Without hesitation he slid into the open wardrobe and closed it, immersing himself into the darkness and fabric. There were at least five people out there based on footsteps and they were onto him. Maybe if he'd locked the door that would've been better? But would these people start going through the Avengers bedrooms? He could understand them taking out Friday to steal something but going into these rooms would be counterproductive unless they were looking for something specific.

  
The door to the room opened and he covered his mouth with both hands, holding his breath. Three of the assailants walked in and he could hear guns clicking. Armed. Great.

  
"He's here, I heard him. Start emptying the room."

  
Shit shit shit! What was he gonna do? He was outnumbered and they were looking for him. What could he-

  
The phone! He'd stuffed it into his pocket when the power went out.

  
He pulled it out with as little sound as he could and flipped it open. Just as he was about to press call on the number, the wardrobe door was wrenched open and light flooded in, exposing him to the three men. They grabbed him by his wrists and squeezed hard, making him drop the phone but also fire his repulser at them, sending two flying back but not the third. He'd ducked in time and kicked underneath Tony when he jumped out of the wardrobe, sending him to the floor. Tony rolled over, onto his back and fired at the man who was pointing some kind of gun at him. The guy fell back, giving Tony just enough time to scramble to his feet and spin towards the door. The three were down and he bolted past them and ran back out into the corridor. He turned left and kept running, blood roaring in his ears.

He'd dropped the phone when he needed to keep it with him. God he was such an idiot, what was he doing!?

  
"He's there! Get him!"

  
He could hear footsteps behind him and turned another corner. They had clearly studied the place beforehand since they didn't slow down at all when he made sharp turns. It was like they expected it. Then he noticed more footsteps and realised he was heading towards more of these guys. Who were they? Why were they after him?

  
He held his hand out and fired again and again, trying to hit them all in front. It seemed to work when he cleared passed the fallen bodies until he heard a gun trigger behind him and felt something hit his neck.  
Despite trying not to, he staggered and tried to press down on his neck and feel the damage, still running. Had he been shot? But there was no blood and what he felt instead was some kind of needle.

  
All of a sudden his body felt slow and sluggish and a strange lightheaded sensation hit him. He didn't fully process his slowing down to a walk, until hands came around him and covered his mouth and grabbed his hands. Before he knew it, his hands were cuffed behind his back and something was slipped around his neck. The needle was pulled out and that something was clipped around his neck and he tried to pull away but something wasn't right. The man behind him held him by his waist and Tony could actually feel his body give in.

  
Things blurred into grey for a moment and then everything went dark.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens and things go downhill...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this became longer and longer and longer! Anyways tell me what you think, I hope it finds the right balance of angsty but practical(ish)- work with me here I'm speculating on certain characters agendas and this is what I came up with ;)

When he came to slowly, he felt two things. One, that his hands were still bound tight behind his back and that collar was still around his neck and two, the man behind him was still gripping him by his waist and holding him up. He jerked and tried to pull away but was held back.

  
"Sir, he's awake."

  
Sir? Tony blinked away the horrible lightheaded feeling and took in the situation. The five guards were standing around him in a circle, which himself being held up by one, and he'd been moved from the ground floor with the bedrooms to back up here in the room with his desk. The place was still dark and judging by the red-purple outdoor light from the window, it hadn't been that long since he'd been caught.  
Thankfully he hadn't been stripped of anything, he was still left in his black tank top and sweatpants. Except the phone was missing from his pockets. Still missing and probably back in Wanda's room.  
He struggled and tried to pull away but the bigger man still held him in firmly in place, his arms constricting.

"Hey, do you mind letting me go!?"

  
"I would stand down Mr. Stark."

  
"Let me go!"

  
"That's enough. I warned you."

  
That voice made him pause and he watched the guards around him step back to let general Ross walk up to him. The guard holding him tightened his grip on his waist, hard enough to leave bruises and Tony winced and looked up at Ross. The man stood there, looking every bit as disgusting as a politician in his formal attire and with his shoulders held back, arms behind his back. It was the same posture a man had when they thought they were justified. Tony had seen it enough in his father, in many men. Eventually Steve too.

  
"Didn't I warn you Mr.Stark? That if you were found to be siding with the criminal in any way, I'd arrest you myself?"

  
Tony lifted his eyes up further to glare directly at the sick bastard. "I haven't done anything wrong."

  
Ross made a small sound of disagreement before he snapped his fingers. Out of nowhere, two guards showed up, one holding the shield, the other holding a piece of paper.

_No, that meant they'd opened the desk with his fingerprints while he was unconscious. Then that meant they could know about the phone too. Shit._

"Stark, you explicitly told us Rogers had _not_ made contact with you. I believe a note stating he will be there when you need him as well as owning his shield proves otherwise."

  
"I haven't spoken to him directly, I got that shield when I fought with him. And the letter is obviously just a way to convince me to forgive him. Which I haven't." At least there was some semblence of the truth in there. Or maybe even that was a lie..

  
Ross, raised an eyebrow at him and frowned slightly, looking grim. It was like the man was a sphinx, no expression going on at all. "Really? So that phone of yours wasn't a way to call him?"

Tony's heart stopped.  
_Oh god, please..._

  
"I don't know what you're talking about. That's Peppers number for her spare phone." He knew he wasn't sounding nearly as convincing as he did a second ago. But he had to try otherwise...

  
"Well then I suppose you don't mind me calling the number myself to see who picks up?" Tony watched in horror as the man pulled out the phone  from his own pocket and held it up.

  
He was screwed unless he could convince him it really was Pepper...

  
Ross pressed down on the single number in the contacts and held to his own ear.

  
The room was so silent, Tony could hear the rings from where he was held. Finally the click of someone picking up and then a pause.

  
In that moment, Tony wasn't sure what came over him but he knew that he just didn't want Ross to hear anything from that phone at all. He had to keep the illusion that it wasn't Steve's number going. Then they wouldn't use the phone against Steve and there would be no proof it actually was Steve.

  
"Pepper! Don't say a word, seriously not a word! I know I screwed up and-!"

  
"Shut him up." While covering the phone with one hand, Ross ordered the guard holding the avenger who covered Tonys mouth roughly, effectively silencing him. He tried to struggle out of the grip and say something, _anything_ but the man held him still and quiet. He'd never felt more frustrated.

  
"Hello? Steve Rogers?" Ross cleared his throat and tried but the phone remained stubbornly silent.

  
"Steve, are you there?"

  
There was silence and nothing else. Behind the man's hand, Tony smiled and slowed down his struggling. Steve wasn't going to say anything unless he was sure it was him. And now he had doubts.

  
"Rogers. Answer me." Ross was getting frustrated, Tony could see it and he almost wondered if Steve would answer just to find out what was going on but eventually the line clicked and the phone cut off. The whole thing just seemed to anger Ross even more given the stormy expression. The billionaire couldn't imagine the man smiling at this point.

  
"Stark!" He walked over to his captive and grasped his hair. He pulled it back, exposing his neck and held the phone to Tony's ear.

  
"You will ask for Steve Rogers or I will make this process far worse for you and your team, including that friend who's life you destroyed."

  
Tony looked up and felt Ross drill his gaze into him feeling helpless. What would he do if they hurt Rhodey? But he couldn't risk exposing Steve either. He felt the man press the phone to his ear and call the number again.  
Two clicks and the phone picked up. Rhodey was safe with Vision who's only weakness was Wanda.

Tony closed his eyes and prayed he wasn't making the wrong choice.

  
"...Pepper? Hello?"

  
The line was still silent, but then Ross yanked his head back harder and the man behind him wrapped a hand around him neck. He pressed down hard around the collar and Tony struggled to escape the grip, this time thrashing with everything ounce of strength he had. The grasp reminded him too much up of Afghanistan even though years had passed. He couldn't breathe! He **couldn't** breathe-!

  
"Ask. For Steve Rogers." Ross whispered into his ear and the man let go, still keeping the hand around his neck as a reminder. He felt so dizzy...

  
"Stark. Do it now."

  
"...S-Steve...are you there?"

  
His throat burned and he felt sick. He hated that he was so weak to give in like this. But hopefully Steve wouldn't answer. He'd know this was a set up by now and keep it hidden. He definitely wouldn't answer Tony now, of course not, even though-

  
The line clicked shut again, not a word uttered from the other side. Tony could practically feel the heat of Ross' gaze, the man having stepped back and looking marginally surprised now.

  
"Stark. You will suffer for this and we will find him-" Tony blocked out the rest of the order and focused on the phone in Ross' hand. In his mind he knew Ross was losing it more than he should have but it didn't matter.

  
Steve hadn't answered. Even when he said he'd be there when he needed him...

  
What was he thinking? Steve couldn't risk himself and the others for Tony's sake. He was just another casualty of war that you wouldn't risk your key players for-he knew that.  
So why did he feel like something had just broken inside? Why couldn't he shake the feeling that Steve had almost, by not answering, chosen to abandon him?

  
The answer was there and until now, Tony had always chosen to ignore it. But it was so so obvious, the words on the letter, patronizing and meaningless and the way he did speak on the phone to Tony that night.

_Because it confirmed that he doesn't care. Never did._

  
"Stark. You will be taken to the prison and be held there till you are ready to cooperate. But until then, we will other uses for you. And this-" he gestured at the phone. "We'll try again later." Tony watched him pocket the phone and take the letter, a low sinking feeling in his stomach descending and settling there like a permanent weight.

  
"Start him on the course. Give him the first dose and bring him up and make sure no one sees you." Ross nodded to the guards and one pulled out a thin syringe with a pink liquid and stepped towards him. He kicked his feet back and tried to twist out of the grip, but the hand on his throat closed and squeezed, cutting of his air again . As he struggled and tried to gasp, he felt something pinch his arm and then a rush of cold travel up his limb and down his body.

  
"That's the first dose. We can start administering as soon as we get there."Tony shivered and gasped as the man removed the syringe, going limp in the arms of the man behind him.

  
Everything hurt and his body ached, his vision doubling. For once he felt truly terrified. What was happening and what the hell did Ross just give him!? They had just given him something that felt so wrong and made him want to vomit. Were they going to kill him? It was definitely the not knowing that almost felt worse.  
He put up no fight when the guy threw him over his shoulder and carried him out of the facility. It was too late and he was done.

* * *

  
Everything was moving. Everything. Nothing could keep still.

What was happening? Where was he? Everything hurt so much, he just wanted to go home...

"He's responding well to the Beta serum. But he's severely underweight. And the fever, watch out for that."

"Yes but do you think we can give him the next dose?"

A sigh. "He needs to wake up. He's barely conscious as it is, you can't strain him too much. Besides, the chances of the serum working is slim enough as it is. Don't reduce the chances further."

"Fine. Notify me when he wakes." A hiss, the sound of glass doors shutting.

"Mr. Stark? Can you hear me? You're at the Raft. Prison cell number two. You're being given mild doses of a modified serum but you will be fine."

Fine? He'd never been fine in his entire life but even he could tell this was **not** fine. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't open his eyes. His body felt heavy and slow and he could barely register anything. But he was in prison? Oh, and he was a criminal now and they were experimenting on him.

  
Great.

Fuck.

* * *

 

He wasn't sure what happened after that but he must have drifted to sleep because now he could feel the bright lights of the room on his eyelids. Slowly he opened his eyes and stared. Nothing was moving anymore which was good and that sense of vertigo was gone. Carefully he turned his head to the side and tried to assess the area.

He was on a bed by the wall and, other than a separate compartment for a toilet, there wasn't much. When he sat up, he noticed the glass and bars facing the interior of a room. Something cold settled in his stomach again and he held back the urge to back into a corner.

He knew exactly where he was. Specifically, when he'd last seen this place.

He was in Falcons prison cell on the raft and by the looks of it, he was the only one here in the entire room. Carefully he stood up and looked past the bars and the glass. There, in the centre of the circular room was the control panel designed to let the prisoners out. The only thing was it needed specific key cards and fingerprints that he didn't have. Well, his other options meant he needed something as strong as Vibranium to break the adamantium reinforced bars, but obviously that couldn't happen.

Sighing, he sank back on the bed and rubbed his head to ease a growing headache, leaning back against the wall. He didn't feel so good after what they'd injected him with. He still felt lightheaded and a bit faint from what could be lack of food and water in the last, god knows how many hours. And he felt so cold. They hadn't provided more than a mattress and they'd changed him into the blue tracking shirt that was put on all criminals who got put in here. And they still had a collar on him, though no cuffs.

  
Suddenly the main entrance to the room opened and in walked Ross followed by two men in black complete with full face covering masks. Both men were ridiculously well built and would do a fantastic job with torture, he thought. He couldn't suppress the tremor that ran up his shoulders as he eyed both men warily. They seemed to stare back, their bodies fixed on his every move.

  
"Tony Stark. How do you like your new quarters?"

  
He was pretty sure that months ago he would've given a snarky reply like 'oh it's great considering it's all you can afford' but here and now, about a month after the war, he wasn't up for a fight. He was scared and tired and didn't have the strength to fight anymore. He figured that eventually the weird serum shit they were giving him was going to kill him anyway so it didn't matter. Once he was dead all his problems would be over, so he then decided he'd make it easier for them and hence himself.

He didn't want to be tortured before he was drugged. Ideally he didn't want to be drugged either but he didn't dare ask for anything nowadays. Hope was dangerous.

  
"What do you want from me?" He said tiredly and lowered his eyes when Ross' lips twitched at the sight of his obvious weakness. Another shiver ran down his spine.

"I want to give you another chance before I am forced to do something I ideally didn't want to use you for." He pressed a button on the control panel and the glass slid away, leaving only the bars. He walked close to the bars and tossed something into the cell. The phone rattled loudly and landed at Tony's feet by the bed and he desperately tried not to scream and run. He didn't want a reminder of Steve giving up on him.

  
"Call Steve Rogers. If he confesses to knowing the location of the Winter Soldier as well as giving his current location, we will stop administering the experimental serum on you. And I will have you know, it only becomes more painful. You're on your second dose right now and once you take the third, there will be no going back. And as of yet, none of our test subjects have survived."

  
As he listened, he bent down and picked up the phone. Something called out to him in the back of his mind as he processed this. If Bruce was around, he'd remind him that any experimental drug trials on criminals were still illegal even if they were criminals. Maybe If Natasha was stood where he was, she'd toss the phone away and tell Ross to go to hell for even trying to pull a stunt like this behind the government's back. And that she'd expose him.

  
Unless, of course, the government was funding the research for this serum and somehow he'd been granted a loophole to jump through as long as the subject was an enemy of the state. He was Secretary of the State and he could easily pull this off, he had the authority.

But all Tony could think of was how unimportant it all was. If Ross was doing this and no one had stopped him yet, no one would stop him at all. Which meant Tony was now here for Ross to use as a human test subject until he eventually gave in to demands or died in the process.

Bruce had told him everything about Thaddeus Ross once and how he wanted to perfect a super solder serum but ended up essentially creating the Hulk. Maybe that was why he was so keen to hunt down Barnes and Steve.

  
Not that it mattered, all he had now was Tony Stark. Hardly a threat and pretty much worthless.

Who was standing still and frozen at the sight of the phone again. _Get it together Stark._

  
"I will not ask again Stark. There is no getting out of this, I am the Secretary of State. No one will stop me from doing what needs to be done."  
He could see Ross, standing firm and rigid with a stoic expression beyond the bars from the corner of his eye. It was actually in that moment that Tony realised exactly how cruel this man was.

  
"You had this going while the war was going on? For me and the Avengers in general? Or just Steve and James?" He still hadn't shifted his gaze from the phone in his hand but he didn't need to. He could almost feel the smug oozing off the man. For a long moment Ross didn't say anything before finally he coughed lightly and stepped forward.

  
"You misunderstand if you think this is about you Mr.Stark and your team. This is about every United States citizen having a right to safety. By refusing to help us find the super-soldiers and other enhanced beings on the Avengers team, you are effectively putting at risk the lives of every man, woman and child of this country."

  
"Spare me. You know as well as I do that the only reason you want to find Steve or Bar-the Winter soldier is because of your sick research on the serum. I bet the UN actually doesn't give a shit whether you find him or not anymore but you're the one pushing for it." He whispered angrily as he gripped the phone hard in his hand and tried to keep his breathing steady. He'd been trying to make things better with the accords but he hadn't even _considered_ why Ross had jumped on board so quickly. Was that Everett Ross involved too? Was he wrong about everything?

For a long moment General Ross didn't speak, only observed in that critical manner of his. Then he sighed and shook his head like a disappointed father.

"My research on the serum has allowed me to consider the potential it holds against various threats. I have invested years and extortionate amounts of money to further understand the way it works and after many attempts and mistakes, I have progessed significantly. But I have still not yet perfected a matching serum. If I was able to, I would gladly look at a sample of blood from either of the soldiers. Unfortunately-" Suddenly, he was looking furious, as if he'd been personally insulted by the genius in the cell. "Very few seem to understand how important this work is. Decisions take time when it comes to authority. But of course, you wouldn't understand this since you are in fact unaware of anything it seems. I should have sent my own men to contain the Captain, rather than leaving it to you and your armour."

Silence reigned over both men as they stared forward, one looking at the cell, the other staring at the wall. Tony was unsure as to what the man was expecting him to say but only one thought came to mind and he verbalised it.

"Sounds pretty similar to what certain Hydra members were trying to do. And if I recall, they were all villains. You seem to have the anti-hero idea down fairly well."

Ross in response scoffed and gave the closest thing to a smirk, leaving Tony to try and work out what that was even supposed to be.

  
"Make of it what you will. You always were what others and I deemed, a liability but more worryingly, you are now a threat, concealing the location of Rogers puts you in league with a criminal. But it doesn't matter anymore as you have but two choices. You can either comply and I will release you back at that pathetic empty facility, or you can spend your remaining hours here contemplating the damage you've caused until we administer the final dose."

  
Steve had been right not to trust the accords. If men like Ross were behind its ideals it was flawed. It must have been. And he'd believed in it because he was so so sure. It was almost as if he didn't even know how to do the right thing anymore. He really was a threat, just not to Ross. More like, a threat to everyone else.

  
Tony stared at the wall in front of him, face blank, resignition in his voice. He could only try but even he knew how this ended.

  
"And if I still refuse to make this call?"

  
"Then I've already told you what I will do to you. But you forget, I have the upper hand." Tony thought he could hear Ross _smile_ for once and what he heard next made his blood run cold.

"I know the location of Laura Barton and Natasha Romanov."

The blank expression shattered and he closed his eyes in pain. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to Clint's family or Natasha.

  
More lives involved, more choices. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be in safe company with someone to just stop all of this from happening, he wanted that safety so much, he-

  
For the first time ever, he regretted becoming Iron man. He wished he'd just died in that cave a long time ago, company and weapons be damned. He'd spent so long trying to keep people safe by making these decisions, why couldn't anyone do the same for him? Why couldn't he be the normal citizen everyone just wanted to protect-just once, couldn't somebody save him?

But this was how it was with him. It always ended like this, one way or another he was the merchant of death and had to make the choice.

Tony turned to Ross slowly but kept his eyes down and held the phone to his ear, pressing call.

 

_Ring, ring. Ring, ring._

  
_Ring, click._

 

"Hello? Steve?" He spoke quietly, his heart racing again, silently begging for a fucking miracle.

  
"..."

  
"I don't know if you're listening buddy, but if you are..." His eyes met Ross' and his hands shook. Keep it together Stark. "I'm kind of stuck. I need your help. I really need your help."

  
No answer yet. He took a deep breath.

  
"Steve?" Tony tried to block out the harsh gaze from the men behind Ross. He swallowed and looked down, his resolve finally breaking.

  
"Please..." He whispered and clutched the phone with both hands like a lifeline. His heart dropped when the line went dead.

Casting a look at Ross, he held the phone tight and lowered it to his chest.

  
"I tried."

  
Ross looked speechless, as if he genuinely could not believe Steve had ignored Tony. He must have been hitting his finals levels of tolerance because he turned to his men and practically barked;

  
"I'm going to send orders for them to prepare the third dose. Make sure he doesn't try anything."

  
"Sir, the dose will definitely kill him." One of the men in black spoke, a thick, strong accent coming through.

  
"I don't care. Do it. Make sure it's done before the end of the day. The world's better off without him."

  
Tony said nothing and watched Ross walk off and leave the room, the two men standing there staring at him, probably guarding him. Uncaring whether they watched him or not he flopped down on his bed and curled up, hiding his face from the world.

  
That phone call...

  
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he knew that he'd meant every word he'd said. He did need Steve, now more than ever. Not just to save him from Ross but also to get him away from these decisions. He didn't know if he could bare to make another mistake that cost someone else. He didn't want to play the hero anymore, he just wanted to finally feel something other than this despair and loneliness.

He didn't want to die like this. He really didn't. Suddenly the realisation of everything was overwhelming and tears flooded his eyes. Tears fell as he thought about how he'd never see Pepper or Rhodey or Happy again. And how he'd never see any of the Avengers and Steve. He was alone and he was going to die alone with no one to care. He didn't make a sound, but continued to just lie there on bed and cry silently, staring at the wall for about ten minutes before he heard a light cough. Scrunching his eyes tight, he tried to block everything out, his position reminding him of the night he finally worked up the courage to call Steve, thanks to Natasha.

But because he'd been scared and didn't want Steve to abandon him and deal with the loneliness he'd screamed at him the next day, maybe desperately hoping Steve would notice and come back for him. But instead he'd pushed Steve away himself and was now more alone than ever.

  
"Stark."

  
Uncurling from his small place of peace he sat up and stared, not bothering to hide the tears on his face anymore. One of the guards had moved and was standing by the bars and was pointing at something. Beneath the black mask covering his head it was hard to tell what the guy saw but Tony could only imagine pity. Not that it mattered. He was a dead man anyway.

  
The phone was on the floor. He must have dropped it after using it. He stood and stepped off the bed and knelt by it, staring at it. He didn't dare touch it, this thing that was the root of all of his problems.

  
"Stark, you should try again."

  
He shook his head and crossed his arms to his chest tight, trying to fight the cold. The floor was hard against his knees but staring at the phone was harder. Steve wasn't going to help him. Tony was going to die alone. Strangely it was just the alone part that bugged him. Not even the dying now.

  
"I can't."

  
"You can." The other guard with the accent crossed his arms and spoke obviously curious as to what was going on.

  
It just made Tony want huddle inwards more. Okay maybe he did care about his pride a bit after all.

  
"Steve can't help me."

  
His mind flickered to all the possibilities. He didn't want to be alone in this but maybe he could at least pretend he wasn't. Pretend to himself that everything was fine, just for a little while.

  
He picked up the phone and chose voicemail. Then he pressed down and spoke softly.

  
"Hey Steve. If you get this, then I want you to know that I'm sorry. Sorry for Ultron, sorry for what I tried to do to James Barnes...Bucky...sorry for this fight...even sorry for what I said when we first met. You are and will always be the best man I ever knew and I'm sorry I put you through this. If you ever forgive me..." He paused. He actually didn't know what to say. He wasn't going to be alive to see that happen if it ever did.

  
"Actually it's okay. I won't ask for forgiveness. But I want you to forgive the others who stood by me. I made the mistake but the others don't deserve to pay for it. I-if I'm not around, can you please accept Rhodes and Vision back onto your team? Please don't leave them on their own, that is the worst thing-" he couldn't hold back the sob that escaped then but quickly reigned it back in. This wasn't about him. "-you can do to them. Please. Don't. Also. Please save Laura and Natasha. Take them to a safe place, wherever that is. And keep them all protected, don't let anyone feel uns-safe. They need you Steve. I'm sorry, I really tried but I wasn't enough. So save them."

This was hard. He didn't want to do this anymore but he knew he'd regret it if he didn't. He should leave things on a good note, he could tell himself he was friends with Steve and that the man cared enough to fulfil these things for Tony.

  
"I wish I'd called you earlier. I wish I hadn't left it too late. I'm so sorry. Goodbye Steve." Message saved to be sent at a later date.

  
For a brief moment no one spoke, not that he expected anything from the guards but he could feel their eyes on him. He supposed it would be okay to talk to them. They would be the last people he'd get to talk to about anything and for all their buff demeanour, they actually seemed sorry for him.

  
"When I'm gone can you do me a favour?" He didn't need to hear a response to know they were listening.

  
"If you ever do get the chance, if you ever meet Steve Rogers...can you give him this phone? And if you don't, can you just send that message to the number on this phone? There's only one number..." His voice wavered slightly as he spoke, eventually filtering out. He wasn't used to asking for things like this. He didn't know if this was right...

  
There was silence but then thick-accent spoke.

  
"You are truly an honourable man Anthony Stark. Your wishes shall be granted."

  
He sagged with relief when the other man by the bars held his hand out and Tony stepped forward to drop the phone into his hand.

  
He whispered a soft 'Thankyou' and walked back to his bed, heart heavy and weight on his shoulders. It was only a matter of time now.

* * *

 

"Wake up Stark. I want to see you awake for this." Tony opened his eyes and watched with dull eyes as Ross walked into the now completely open cell and gripped him by the collar on his neck, yanking him up.

  
He pulled him into an upright position and signalled for two scientists and four guards to walk in, two being the ones who were stood outside guarding him earlier. Tony watched dazedly as one of the guards sat behind him and held him back against his chest pinning him down with one hand wrapped around him, the other over his right wrist. He stretched out Tony's arm and held it in position for the scientists to inject him.

The genius did absolutely nothing, the feeling of dizziness, badly affecting him as he'd gone too long without food and water and now his body was close to collapse. Maybe it was stress and exhaustion finally getting to him or those other injections too-probably everything was finally hitting him all at once. That earlier scientist was right, he wouldn't survive this.

_Good. It's better this way.  
_

  
Ross stepped back and out of the cell letting the others move around him, the three guards hovering while the scientists grabbed supplies. It was like watching Obie take the Arc reactor only this time, he had no spare.

The scientist stepped closer and knelt beside him, positioning the syringe over his veins and Tony felt the grip around his waist tighten almost painfully and his breath hitched.

Closing his eyes, he let himself go limp in the new guards arms and relaxed murmuring under his breath to the two guards who'd showed him kindness, "Please, give it to him."

  
The needle pressed into his skin. Then a shot fired and someone screamed.

* * *

  
Tony's eyes shot open and he stared as the scientist holding the syringe full of serum, fell to the floor, bleeding profusely all over the prestine white ground. At the same time, one guard turned and did something so quick to the other guard, he just dropped to the floor. Tony had blinked and missed it, it was so quick.

  
The other scientist screamed again and attempted to run but not before the black guard aimed the gun he'd initially fired, to his head. A gun that just seemingly appeared out of nowhere, Tony's mind supplied and the scientist wasn't expecting it either since he flinched back and fell to his knees, hands in the air.

  
The black guard  with the gun tutted and nudged him with his boot towards the bleeding man.

  
"I suggest you stop the bleeding." Thick accent, powerful and demanding, spoke, nothing like the quieter voice he had before. He stepped next to the guard with the gun and was looking down at the fallen scientist and guard.

  
The healthy scientist scrambled to his feet and grabbed some bandages that were on a trolley outside the cell. As that happened, the gun pointed at Ross who was standing outside looking shocked and pale.

  
"Stark will be accompanying us I'm afraid."

  
Ross held up his hands but glared at the guard who was holding Tony in his arms.

  
"Do it! Give him the shot! What the hell are you waiting for!?" Tony felt the man around him pull his and Tony's arm in and wrap around his body almost protectively. He might as well be a teddy bear the guy was cuddling. This was way too comfortable right now for Tony to even _want_ to struggle.

  
"I'm afraid I can't do that. I made a promise and Stark belongs to me."

  
**No.**

  
**No fucking way.**

  
Suddenly, adrenaline coursed through his veins giving him some amazing, hidden strength and Tony spun sharply, as much as he could in the man's grip to stare at him. It couldn't be...

  
"Steve!?"

  
The man in full black said nothing but nodded and for a second Tony thought it was to him but quickly realised it was a signal to the other guard to...pull out silver claws? T'Challa? Then the gun must have meant that was Bucky!

  
"General Ross. I ask you to stand down or else we will be forced to attack." The disguised black panther commanded, his _Wakandan_ accent coming through. It made so much sense now! The phone, them even talking to him, of course!

  
Ross said nothing but he heard the click of the gun being positioned. Tony swore he could feel himself smile a real, genuine smile. His mind was fuzzy and everything felt light and he gave in to his desire to sink into his rescuers arms. He turned his head and buried into the firm chest, listening to the steady heartbeat. He was here, he really was! Tony was pretty sure he could feel tears running down his face but he was smiling, he didn't care; he had never felt more happy.

  
The hands released his wrists and Tony immediately wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and smiled even more when he felt Steve pull him closer. Above him he heard the Captain speak.

  
"Buck, T'Challa, secure the entrance. I'm taking Tony." In the background someone cried out and Tony briefly wondered if that was Ross. He hoped so.

  
"Tony. Look at me." Tony pulled away slightly, letting his palms rest on Steve's chest and he looked up slightly to the black mask. He couldn't read any expression obviously but he must have looked pretty terrible since he felt Steve's hands tighten around him.

  
"I'm not leaving you alone."

  
Oddly, that made him laugh. Of course he wouldn't. Steve did care. He must care to come here just for him, there wasn't anyone else.

 

"I'm so happy I can't even tell you." He swayed for a moment, smiling and felt the arms move up to his face, hands cupping his cheeks gently, as if he was important. So important. His eyes slid shut.

  
"Hey Tony, stay with me okay? Just relax, we'll be home soon." Steve scooped Tony up into his arms and stood up, pushing off the wall. Tony lay his cheek against Steve's chest again and hummed. He wondered faintly if he'd been drugged again, he felt so light.

  
"I can hear your heartbeat."

  
The captain was running somewhere and distant screams could be heard. "Yeah? Is that good?"

  
"...It means you came for me."

  
The grip on him tightened. "I'll always come for you."

  
"Was scared you wouldn't."

  
"You didn't need to be. We were here the whole time."

  
"Steve?"

  
"Yes Tony?"

  
"I missed you Steve."

  
They stopped moving for a minute. "...I missed you too Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou so much to all you fabulous peeps who commented, kudos'ed and booked ;D You don't know how happy it made me to see it all :)) Once again, please do give me you opinions-OPINIONS ARE GRAND-  
> Also I'm curious to know what peeps thought of the film in general-considering what the trailers showed It certainly wasn't what I expected! 
> 
> Anyways let me know and I'll get back to the next chapter in the meantime :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this chapter mostly done for ages but didn't take into account exams and so forth, so this took far longer than expected. Thankfully, Im now done with my first year of Uni and have come home!   
> This will hopefully get things back on track and equal more writing!!!  
> Thankyou all so much for the kind comments-I have been reading all of them and they are so encouraging :D  
> I hope this chapter was worth the wait... Enjoy!

As soon as he said it, he knew it was true. He had missed Tony, more than he could have imagined, and the last month had been torture for him, not knowing if the genius had even thought of him. Not a day had gone by where Tony wasn't in his head-as well as the constant reminder of his actions and the sheer number of mistakes he'd made.

They had been apart for too long and this was all Steve's fault.

* * *

 

When Tony had first called, Steve had been ecstatic, he couldn't remember ever feeling so elated. Except...

Except the phone call had sounded like Tony was running thin and needed help or at least some company. Steve had been certain that Tony hadn't wanted to speak to him because he hadn't forgiven him for hiding the truth. He didn't realise until that phone call that Tony actually felt guilty too.

So Steve had said the first thing that came to his mind and made Tony promise to call him the next day. But of course, that didn't end well either when he realised Tony was also angry at him, livid. It was Sam and Clint who explained to Steve that Tony probably felt abandoned and not in control and was lashing out because he was exhausted and alone and no one was there to look out for him.

Steve didn't want to believe it but decided he would give Tony some cool down time first before eventually going to visit him and maybe try and apologise in person and gain the start of Tony's forgiveness. And then maybe, bring Tony to Wakanda.

  
But then _that_ phone call happened-the one where Tony didn't have the phone in his hand because he'd yelled out to Pepper as if he was talking to her on the phone from across the room instead. Then someone else used the phone Steve had given Tony, to ask if he was there. He couldn't remember his initial reaction clearly but he vaguely remembered being so close to screaming down the phone and demanding the person give the phone to Tony _now,_ that he'd nearly broken his phone from crushing it too hard _._ There was no way in hell he was talking to anyone other than Tony, so he cut the phone. How dare they!?

  
But then his phone rang again and obviously he picked up because he'd never ignore this phone. His breath caught when he heard Tony on the other end, this time holding the phone and speaking.

Asking for Pepper again.

  
Steve's mind had honestly blanched at that, the initial frustration leaving his mind stirring. Once could be a mistake, twice however, was almost always intentional in Steve's experience. What was Tony playing at? Was he confused by which phone he was using? No way, Tony Stark didn't get phones mixed up. There was something else.

  
Then he heard someone gasp lightly and heard a very quiet whisper that practically stopped his heart.

  
"Ask. For Steve Rogers." That was the same voice who'd asked for him directly earlier. Obviously this man had no idea about his enhanced hearing but Steve was not liking the picture this was painting. He didn't like where this was pointing at all.

  
"S-Steve...are you there?" Steve didn't feel any happiness then. Tony was now asking for him but his voice was rough as if he'd been hurt, as if he was in pain.

Rage pulsed through Steve's body and his blood raced with fear and hatred. If this man even lay a finger on Tony's body, he'd answer to Steve. No one, _no one at all_ was going to hurt Tony now. Not after everything he'd been through, all the pain he'd suffered. Steve had left him out of everything on purpose to keep him safe and he was trying to protect Tony, but if he was safer with Steve then clearly he had made a huge mistake in leaving Tony behind. In all honesty, Steve had really believed Tony would be safer without him since he was a wanted criminal and his life couldn't possibly be anymore of a risk.

But none of that mattered because now Tony was in danger and Steve was too far away to save him, all because he had decided what was better for Tony. This was his own fault.

  
Quickly, he cancelled the call and activated the button on the side of his own flip phone. The two phones were special in that they were identical and only had one number in each, the number of the other phone. They worked on an individual trace that used a separate network to speak, meaning they couldn't be tracked (except maybe by Tony but he obviously hadn't done that) and they were basically perfect for secret conversations as Steve had hoped they would be used for. But there was another feature that he'd asked T'Challa to add. Once activated, the button turned on a one-way-GPS tracking signal from the other phone and could be traced, meaning Steve could track Tony's phone anywhere on the planet and keep an eye on him.

He'd promised to be there when Tony needed him and this would have helped ensure that, on a mission for example. The only problem was it needed the phone to be turned on at least once before it could be used. Which was why the captain had sent a message to Natasha to persuade Tony to use it. Maybe he'd also wanted to just hear from Tony too, but safety was what was important.

  
He had been staying in Wakanda with the other Avengers at the time of the call and so, went to find T'Challa who sat down and showed him the current path the phone was taking, via satellite signal. It showed a direction towards the sea and that's when it all clicked into place. His co-leader being threatened, the last functional Avenger at the facility who could be held responsible. Tony was being taken to the custom built prison. Which meant Ross was probably the one involved, the one who threatened Tony.

When Steve had first arrived at Wakanda, he had placed Bucky in the medical area to let him recover and clean up for a while. Then, he'd immediately searched for King T'challa and pretty much begged him to help free his friends from the raft. The Black Panther was kind to him and offered to give as much of a technological advantage to Steve as he could to temporarily remove the barriers and security from the Raft. Steve had gone alone on the stealth quinjet, having sent the phone to Tony too, knowing he wouldn't stop Steve's mission to save their family. He knew what he'd written in that letter but the Avengers were all family, his and Tony's, and as soon as he'd sent it, he realised it was true. Family didn't leave each other behind _ever_.

The shields and security footage from that day had been completely blocked and audio had been removed so that none of Ross' security could track Steve or the quinjet when they escaped but that day had obviously had a knock on effect because now, security was much harder to bypass according to T'challa's intel-codes and more codes. So now they had no choice but to bring down the visual and audio from the inside so that there would be no evidence. They had to go inside and extract Tony as soon as possible without getting caught. And it would be risky.

Steve didn't hesitate. He assembled all the other Avengers with him and gave them a situation report. He'd fully expected to have to beg in order to get them to help save Tony, but was surprised when they all nodded and asked to come assist, even T'Challa and Bucky, who said he wanted a personal go at Ross for taking Tony. So they'd all taken a modified quinjet (T'Challa had modified the quinjet and reinforced it after Steve had flown it to Wakanda after his fight with Tony) to the Raft and planned an infiltration. It was decided that Steve, Bucky and T'Challa would go in as bodyguards to Ross to find Tony directly and sneak him out while Scott would go in and deactivate all audio and visual to the cell room and surrounding areas of the Raft. Wanda and Sam would keep an eye from the quinjet as backup and Clint would remain seated and ready to take off as soon as they were all on board, with the quinjet in stealth mode. If all else failed, Steve decided he would break the walls down and take Tony himself, the government be damned. His partner needed his help and he'd failed him enough times.

On the journey there, everyone had been silent. Bucky was organising his smaller rifles to fit on braces around his shins, while T'challa, in his black body suit was sat silently next to him with his head tilted back and eyes closed. Sam was standing on the opposite side with his arms crossed and an anxious expression and Scott looked mildly concerned from the co-pilot seat with Wanda staring at the floor silently above him. But what was more odd was Clint, who had been piloting absolutely fine but looked almost indifferent, like this was a regular mission he had been tasked with. For some reason, it grated on Steve's nerves more than it should have and he paced through the centre of the jet.

"How long till we get there?" He asked quietly, still pacing as the others looked at him. All except for Clint.

"Not long Captain. It is merely another hour." Merely an hour? It wasn't often that Steve wanted to strangle someone and he had to remind himself that the King of Wakanda was a bad choice of enemy. T'challa was helping and Steve instantly felt bad for hating his attempt at comfort, even if that wasn't very comforting.

"Steve." Steve looked at Bucky who was staring at him with a closed off expression. "We'll get him. Mini-Stark isn't going anywhere except with us when this is done but worrying now isn't gonna do shit."

"Mini-Stark?" It was easier to focus on that than the actual stakes at risk here. All things said and done, Bucky being here was a blessing. He was glad to have him out of cryo and who knew? Maybe Bucky helping would be the start to mending things for Tony.

The Winter soldier shrugged, looking back at his guns almost as if he was abashed, although that was impossible. "He's mini-Stark. That punk is the last Stark and I owe it to his parents to keep him safe. Even if he hates me and wants to kill me."

Steve was about to reply when he was interupted by a scoff from the pilot. All heads turned to Clint and Steve noticed Sam's expression darken at what Clint said next.

"Don't worry Buck. Stark doesn't need your protection from anything because he does all the protecting here. He's got our backs, remember? He does such a good job." The sarcastic bitter tone made Steve want to punch Clint.

Surprisingly, Sam started forward and would've gone to knock some sense into Clint, had it not been for Wanda blocking him. But Falcon was still furious at the comment. "He's only human. He tried to keep us together and we left him and the others behind. Steve could only break us out because Tony let it happen. And now because of probably that, he's on Ross' shit list." Sam pushed away from Wanda, who'd gripped his arms and sagged against the wall suddenly looking drained. "I'm the same."

Instantly, the remains of the Avengers saw the change of topic and turned sharply to Sam and Wanda shook her head and spoke. "Rhodey wasn't your fault-"

"Well that's what Clint means." Sam said, resigned as Wanda inhaled quietly and spun to look at the back of Clint's seat.

"Clint? Tell me you don't mean that?"

Maybe only Wanda could get rid of the indifferent expression because suddenly it disappeared and Clint was looking deeply upset at the panel in front of him. His hands clenched on the controls as he sighed.

"I didn't mean that. I swear, I would never blame you for Rhodes. But Tony divided the team just like Ultron. And we've seen it all go wrong, he-"

"Clint." Bucky stopped the rant and Clint twisted around to see Bucky gesture to Steve, who was looking absolutely devasted. It made Clint frown.

"Cap? Are you alright?"

"You don't get it Clint. I didn't tell you everything that happened. Tony didn't break the team apart. I did." Steve looked ice-white as he whispered, as if he was scared to say it.

"Steve, what are you talking about?" The silence felt even more oppressing and Steve swallowed and clenched his fists on his sides.

"I knew you would listen to me when I called you in. But you didn't ask me what Tony had actually tried to do. And god, now I wish you had. Then maybe you would've stopped me. Why the hell didn't you ask me about Tony, Clint!?" The Captain was now suddenly looking more angry than ever as he glared at Clint who was looking stunned. Then Hawkeye grew appalled and pointed at Bucky.

" _Stark_ tried to kill your friend! Did you forget that quickly!? Is everyone suddenly feeling bad now that Stark has finally gotten what he deserved!? _He's_ the criminal, he should be in prison!"

There was a brief moment where everyone shifted and poised to stop Steve from lashing out and crushing Clint, the soldier looked more angry than he'd ever seemed, the man's body tense, face red and eyes wide. But luckily Scott stood up and raised his arms slowly and stepped between them placatingly.

"Guys, this won't help mini-Stark. Lets keep the fights to a minimum till we get back. You-" He pointed at Steve, his boldness suddenly waning at the site of the furious soldier. "-are awesome and we all love you. We'd love you even more if you calmed down right about now, yeah see that's great! And you-" He spun around to face Clint, probably more to avoid looking at Steve. "-agreed to help out. If you agreed then why are you complaining? And wasn't Stark like a bro to you anyway? Quit being a jerk please."

Everyone looked at Steve who took a shuddering breath and rubbed at his forehead gently. "You're right. Sorry Clint, I shouldn't have snapped. But I owe you an explanation when we get back. You can't blame Tony."

Clint didn't say anything but went back to facing forward silently, only this time he looked pained, the mask gone. More horrid silence filled the confined space until Sam smirked at the ground and Steve couldn't be more grateful when he spoke.

"Mini-Stark? Is that a thing now?"

Despite everything, Bucky grinned slighty. "I hope so. Operation save the Mini-Stark."

Sam shook his head and smiled slightly in return but then dropped the smile when he looked at Steve. "Do you think Tony will agree to come back with us to Wakanda?"

Steve frowned. He hadn't thought it would come up so soon and doubt crept into his mind, like a shadow rising over land. "I...hope so. But whatever he wants, he can't go anywhere near Ross. I won't let him go unprotected after this."

"Arriving to the checkpoint coordinates in ten. Everyone suit up and get ready." Clint spoke monotonously, in full mission mode and everyone began to move. If one thing could be said about Clint, it was that the mission always came first.

They spent the last minutes checking supplies and rediscussing the details of the plan. When the quinjet finally stopped, repulsors holding it above the ocean, the back door opened and Bucky, T'challa, Scott and Steve leapt out and dived into the ocean, their waterproof versions of their suits protecting them from the shock of cold water. Time set, they swam to the outer wall of the Raft and began climbing the tallest wall they had ever climbed. Steve didn't care, he'd done this once already and had no problem doing it again for Tony. They'd reach a side opening where the water drained out, soon enough and then they'd make their way in.

 

* * *

 

  
It wasn't hard finding some of the guards Ross had, once they reached the inner zones of the Raft. T'Challa and Bucky easily knocked out the first four guards before they could call backup and Steve and Scott locked them in a sealed closet in a quiet corridor. The four got changed into the all black body suits just as an alert came through the speakers stating that General Ross had arrived with the new prisoner.

Steve nodded to Scott who shrunk down and disappeared into one of the side control panels imbedded in the wall-if anyone could shut down the systems, it was him. Once they were sure he was gone, they headed out to meet at the landing site and wait for Ross. A fourth guard joined them swiftly but thankfully didn't notice the change in his colleagues.

The helicopter landed and the three waited as Ross and the pilot stepped out and then signalled to the Specialised team behind him. At first Steve couldn't see any sign of Tony until he finally saw the last team member step out, holding the unconscious genius over his shoulder, wrists bound behind his back. The sight made Steve want to pounce and grab Tony but with the amount of cameras that was a bad idea. He had to give Scott time to breech security. So he stood and saluted as the others in the room did when Ross stepped forward. Surprisingly, the team member holding Tony over his shoulder stepped up to Bucky and shifted the weight on his shoulder.

  
"Take the prisoner to cell two and secure it. Ross' orders." He was about to pretty much drop Tony on the floor but thankfully Bucky dashed forward and slipped his arms around Tony's waist, hoisting him up over his own shoulder. Steve could tell he was trying to appear uncaring but was being as careful with Tony as he could.

"Yes sir." Steve smiled when he realised Bucky was in charge of getting Tony to the cell. If all else failed and anyone tried anything, Tony was in safe hands, literally.

  
The heavily armed man then looked at Steve and nodded. "Accompany him. Make sure the place is sealed. Ross wants to give him a second dose soon. And you two-" he pointed at T'Challa and the extra, "will accompany Ross to medical to retrieve the serum."

T'Challa stretched his hands and nodded, that being the signal that everything was fine. Thankfully Steve remembered the way to the cells from his last rescue mission and so he led the way for Bucky. As soon as they were in the clear he heard Bucky whisper into their private com.

  
"Shit Steve, he's so thin. And have you seen his face, he's really pale."

  
"Something in the serum isn't agreeing with him. In this medical area they are discussing an experimental serum they are using on him. It was actually meant to be given to the other non-meta avengers once they were caught but instead they are using it on Stark." T'Challa spoke quietly and Steve carried on the thought.

"Because Tony never did bring in any of us. So now they're using it on him. How does it work?"

"The first dose was mostly a sedative infused with many inactive antibodies found in your blood specifically, Rogers. Hence his current state of unconsciousness. The second dose which they are now preparing will contain activators which will trigger the antibodies to work but not actually affect the patient, acting like that of a vaccine. The third dose, however is the point of no return. It is essentially the Vita Ray's effect in liquid form. Except..."

  
"Except?" Bucky prompted.

  
"No test subject has survived this third dose. It seems to require a balancing agent they lack. The subjects go through agony before they finally bleed internally and die. I believe they based this serum off the information Zemo provided on the five other Winter Soldiers but lacked seemingly vital information. Captain this whole attempt was planned, though not for Stark. Although perhaps maybe Ross did plan this as soon as he realised Stark was the only non-meta superhero left with no major impairments such as Rhodes."

The information was horrible to consider and Steve didn't want to think of Tony being an experiment for Ross to trial. If that call hadn't been made, would Steve have found out that Tony had been kidnapped?

It didn't matter. He wasn't letting Tony leave his sight anytime soon.

Steve exhaled slowly. "Then we can't let them give Tony the third dose whatever happens. Is there any long lasting effects from the second dose? Scott needs time, he hasn't given any word yet."

  
"It seems to merely put subjects to sleep and perhaps make them disorientated on awakening. He will be prone to dizziness but other than that he should be fine."

  
"Great. Mini-Starks' making us do all the work." Bucky sighed but squeezed Tony's waist gently and rubbed his back.

Finally, they entered the chamber of cells and found number two. Falcons cell, Steve's memory supplied. The two soldiers stepped inside and Bucky gently lay the iron avenger down on the bed letting Steve pull out the blue prison shirt from under the bed. As he stood and watched Bucky undo the cuffs on his wrists he looked at Tony carefully. His co-leader, partner on the team who lay still, thin and pale with dark shadows under his eyes. He looked fragile and suddenly Steve didn't want to think about the past month. He should've been there to protect him from this. Or better yet, just never let him go in the first place. He should have done better by Tony.

"Steve, he's okay for now. We're here to keep him safe. In a few hours we'll be on our way home."

"You're right. Sorry it's just..."

"Not the time to get distracted by his devilishly handsome charm Stevie."

  
Beneath the mask, he actually blushed and fought stay on task. Now was not the time. He had to switch these clothes. See, he had a job to do.

  
He sat down and lifted Tony up, pulling the black tank top off him and taking the blue prison shirt and placing it over him. Once done, he slid his hand over the hem of the shirt and found the tiny micro chip that tracked prisoners. He put as much pressure as he could on it and smirked when it broke between his fingers. Then he carefully slipped his hand onto the back of Tony's neck and searched for the tracker in the collar. Ross may have felt good about putting it on Tony, but Steve wasn't letting any extra restraints get in the way. Once he found it, he held Tony close and crushed it. Suddenly Steve desperately wished to get the collar off completely, but there was no way other guards wouldn't notice.

"What is happening Panther?" Bucky said standing on guard by the entrance to the cell, as Steve lay Tony down gently and tucked the black tank top into the waistband of his own trousers. He was so glad everything was black right now. Who knew? Maybe it would make Tony a little happier to see he hadn't lost anything coming here?

Sighing, Steve leaned over Tony and watched the genius sleep for a minute. Each moment was a risk but he wasn't sure he'd ever get the chance to see Tony again till that call. And now here they were, Steve watching Tony who didn't even know he was here yet. Did he think Steve would come for him? Surely he would?

"General Ross is approaching, I suggest caution but no involvement yet. It is the second dose."

  
Both Bucky and Steve stood to attention and waited until Ross and the two guards walked in, followed by two medics.

  
"I would love to see how he has responded so far. Who knows, we may perhaps have our supersoldier yet!" One of the medics spoke and Steve made a mental note to break his neck later. Tony was _not_ something to experiment on. This whole thing was illegal.

Bucky and Steve stepped aside to let Ross and the medics in and stood beside T'Challa who was inspecting the room subtly. Likely memorising all the blind spots.

  
"Let's see how he's doing." The medics pulled out all sorts of things, thermometers, stethoscopes, blood pressure cuffs but thankfully nothing too invasive. Though Steve nearly leapt forward when he saw them discuss where to use the thermometer. Thankfully the choice between ears and mouth was overruled by Ross who chose the easiet option, so they slipped it under Tony's tongue.

  
"A slight fever, write this down." They said some numbers but Steve focused on Tony, who was now looking slighty flushed in his sleep. He was too busy thinking of putting the genius to bed when they got home, maybe give Tony his clothes so that they were slightly loose and comfortable and let him sleep for a bit.

  
The medics discussed his progress and eventually pulled out the second dose which they shot into Tony's arm. He shivered a bit but didn't do anything else, vulnerable under the clinical hands and Steve clenched his jaw not wanting to see this. The kinder medic pointed out that Tony was also underweight and needed to be fed but Ross seemed more fussed about the third dose. Steve almost wanted to tell Ross not to bother, it wasn't like he'd let it happen. This was the last time anyone would touch Tony so freely and as soon as they were on the quinjet, he was going to give Tony something to eat and he wasn't going to stop even after they reached Wakanda. As if he would let Tony starve right in front of him.

Eventually they all stepped out of the cell and Ross typed in the code which Steve and Bucky instantly memorised, to lock the cell. Then the general turned to his guards and ordered them all to follow him.

  
One final gaze at Tony in the cell, and Steve left to follow Ross.

  
Not long now.

* * *

 

  
Eventually, cameras detected Tony awakening and moving around in the cell. Steve turned, fully ready to follow Ross but was stopped when the medic said;  
"You, I need you to stay here and keep guard. And you too." He finished, pointing at Mr. extra over there. Steve grit his teeth, wanting nothing more than to be with Tony, who was probably wondering where Steve was and when he would be rescued.

"It's okay Stevie. We'll keep you updated on him." Bucky whispered back as he and T'Challa followed Ross out.

About fifteen minutes later, he could hear Tony asking for him on the phone. His phone wasn't with him, it was with Sam on the quinjet and he'd made him promise not to say a single word but to make sure to pick up no matter what if that phone rang. He didn't want Ross to know the other Avengers were with him at all. It was better to let Ross think they had split up.

All of this went completely out the window when Steve heard Tony practically beg for him.

"Please..."

  
Steve now wished he had told Sam to say something. Anything at least. This was torture for both him and Tony, no matter how important everyone else's safety was.

  
When he heard Ross yell at Tony about how he was going to give him the third dose, he saw red. Ross was going to kill Tony, just because he was frustrated!?

Steve heard T'Challa try to remind Ross that the dose would kill Tony, but the general's mind was made up. Well that was fine, because Steve had made his mind up too. He would be there when they tried to give that dose.

When about ten minutes of silence passed after Ross had left, Steve tapped into the coms.

  
"How is he? Is he alright?"

  
"I don't know. He's on his bed just behind the wall, I can't see him and I can't go up to him obviously." Bucky answered near-silently and sighed. "You heard him try to phone didn't you?"

  
"Yes. And I'm gonna kill Ross."

  
"Mr.Barnes, it may be a good idea to make Stark use the phone again. He may attempt to phone and feel some reassurance."

  
T'Challa was right. While the three were talking through the comms amongst themselves, Sam could hear the full conversation on the quinjet but just couldn't reply. But he only needed to say it. Ross wasn't there this time.

  
"Sam, if Tony calls you again, pick up and tell him we're here. And tell him he's not gonna get hurt by anything on my watch. Bucky, make him use the phone."

  
Steve waited as he heard a distant 'Stark' in his ear and then Bucky swore.

"He's...crying Steve. He's been crying for the past ten minutes, I think."

  
It took every ounce of strength not to drop everything and run to Tony. The man never, Ever cried. If he was crying now...

  
"Comfort him."

  
"What? I can't just-"

  
"I don't care. Do. It. Now."

  
"Steve-" Bucky hissed but was interrupted by T'Challa.

  
"Don't worry Captain. James and I shall comfort him as best as we can."

  
Steve felt his muscles tense as he listened to them try to convince Tony to use the phone again. The only problem was now Tony refusing. Why couldn't the idiot not be stubborn for once!?

  
"Steve won't help me:" Tony said, sounding accepting of everything. It was like Steve could hear the defeat sink into his voice and his own hope of repairing what they had sank with it. Was that what Tony thought? That Steve would leave him to die? Even when he'd fought Tony, he'd used the shield to destroy the arc reactor but not hurt him anywhere else with a final blow.  
Tony had to know he mattered, right?

  
Tony was now talking about voicemail in the background and started talking about things that sounded an awful lot like a suicide note. He was sorry, he said sorry alot in those few minutes...Why on earth was he sorry? He said it again and again and each time felt like a physical blow to Steve, a reflection of his own blows to Tony from that day. Tony sounded more and more defeated as the message went on and to make matters worse, he begged Steve to get Rhodey and Vision as if he was punishing them as well as Tony.

Did he really not know what Steve was trying to do?

Steve would never leave Tony by choice, he did it to keep him safe and would always try and keep him safe and he had to know that! Right?

Steve's heart sank as the realisation set in.

How could he possibly know? He'd been betrayed by Captain America, his childhood hero and friend and been left behind. He'd been ignored on that phone by 'Steve' as soon as he'd been threatened and been neglected by the same person for a month before. The minute he actually needed Steve it looked like he hadn't come through. So wasn't he alone?  
The soldier had to grit his teeth and hold himself back until he got Tony out. Then he'd make sure his genius knew exactly how important he was that he would never get left behind.

  
"You are truly an honourable man Anthony Stark. Your wishes shall be granted."

  
Oh, that wouldn't even be the start of it.

 

* * *

  
"Guys, systems will be down in five minutes and you're good to go."

  
Scott had finally come through and just in time. This place was monitored by the UN so the last thing he wanted was for the government to come and arrest them all. It was the reason why they'd gone for subtle. Steve was going through the building mentally now, while following Ross and two scientists to the cell. The stupid extra was also following him but he didn't care. Small fry could be smacked into a wall.

  
"Steve, you hold Tony." Bucky whispered as he stood by and next to T'Challa, who was scoping the extra to check for weaknesses. These black costumes were certainly his forte.

  
Steve didn't hesitate, he sat around and behind Tony and pulled him close on the bed. To onlookers it looked like he was securing a prisoner. To Tony, it would feel like a hug and a part of Steve was overjoyed to be actually holding the billionare. But as he slid his arms around Tony's waist and adjusted his form, he noticed how thin the avenger was, and how pliant he was. To Steve, it felt awful, he was literally the only thing keeping Tony upright because he had practically given up. Steve couldn't ignore how sad it made him to know Tony was just going to let something like this happen to him without a fight.

_Don't worry Tony, I will fight for you_

Either way it didn't matter what he was thinking because Tony just collapsed against him and let himself be held, whispering something along the lines of 'please give it to him.'

He was probably hungry by now. There was food on the quinjet and he'd give it all to Tony when they were out. As well as safety.

Steve took Tony's wrist and held it out, giving the illusion that he was holding his arm in place to be injected. What he was really doing was taking Tony's pulse in his wrist. It seemed to be slightly fast and faint, indicating shock. Tony was far too vulnerable to defend himself right now, and Steve could see that both their safety would rely on him.

  
"Steve, brace Tony, I'm gonna shoot the son of a bitch with the syringe." Bucky spoke quietly. The fury in his voice was obvious.

  
"I will handle our extra here." T'Challa said with a similar amount of rage.

  
"System down guys for about half an hour! Go, go, go!" Scott yelled into the coms and Steve took a deep breath, tightening his grip and feeling Tony gasp lightly.

 

_Finally._

 

Several things happened at once. The scientist went down along with the extra and Ross was backed into a corner by Bucky and T'Challa. Tony just stared at the cell probably trying to make sense of it all. He hadn't tried to escape at all surprisingly, and didn't even tense up when Steve brought his arm close to his chest and wrapped his own upper body around him.

  
Finally the Black panther spoke, claws catching the light. "Stark will be accompanying us I'm afraid."

  
Ross, with his hands up in the air, barked some orders. Orders Steve had no intention of following.

  
He spoke loud and clear with no hesitation. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I made a promise and Stark belongs to me.."

  
He felt it more than anything. The way Tony's body snapped back to life. As if he was full of hope and a desire to stay alive again and it filled Steve with relief to know Tony's spirit wasn't broken. He let the billionaire twist around and look up into his mask.

  
"Steve!?" Tony looked so shocked it was almost funny. Above him, T'Challa signalled to speak further and Steve nodded.

  
Then, he felt Tony practically burrow into his chest as if he wanted to be as close to Steve as possible. He let go of Tony's hands and almost laughed giddily when he felt Tony immediately latch onto him. Tony was here and he wanted _Him_ here. When he looked down, saw Tony's tear stained cheeks glisten but his smile pulled his attention more.

Without a second thought he pulled Tony closer against him.

Tony was right to think he was here to save him, because that's exactly what he planned to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so I'm an epic fail, I should have updated ages ago, but I ended up travelling a lot-and funnily enough wifi was hard to come by -.- having said that, I didn't stop writing so here's the next chapter! I hope this is good-I wasn't sure how I felt about this one-you guys please tell me in the comments-I'm very curious to know!  
> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments-they are all so wonderful and I take everything that's said into account so they are VERY helpful to me :D I LOVE COMMENTS

 

"Hey come on, stay with me okay?"

Steve watched as Tony stayed silent and turned his head further towards the Captains heart and it would have been endearing had it not been for how weak Tony seemed right now. He was very pale and hardly seemed to react to anything around him, barely giving responses to Steve whenever he tried to get his attention.

Steve had been running from the cell for about ten minutes with Bucky and T'Challa taking the main routes to draw the guards away but he knew he was fast approaching a hotspot of guards and he wanted Tony to be ready and if he was more aware, he could better defend himself just in case.

"I need you here with me Tony. I know I don't deserve it but please, do this for me." He whispered as he held the avenger close and paused when he came to a corner, knowing exactly what was waiting.

Carefully, he lowered Tony to the ground and leaned him against the wall, willing the man to look up at him but instead, Tony just sagged against it, head down and arms either side.

"Tony, I'm going to clear the next corridor, I promise I'll be right back okay? But if you hear something or need to talk to someone-" Steve paused and removed his com device from his ear and carefully slotted it into Tony's ear, trying desperately not to feel defeated when he felt Tony flinch.

"This gives the rest of the team your location and you can talk to Buck and T'Challa. They'll keep you updated and you can hear their conversations. Whatever happens, you're getting out of here, okay?"

Silence. Not a twitch. Swallowing down his anger towards Ross for doing this to Tony, Steve stood tall and pulled out his gun from his belt. Just as he was about to leave, he felt a light touch to his shin and looked down. Tony was looking at him with surprise as if he was just waking up. And also feeling fear.

"Nothing will happen right? You-I-this is the first time I've seen you since- I don't know when-?" At that Steve dropped back down to his knees and pulled Tony forward into a fierce hug, placing a hand through Tony's hair gently. He could understand it. He really could.

He hadn't been with Tony in so long either and he could understand that Tony wasn't sure what was going on.

"It'll be fine. But it doesn't matter, because you're gonna be okay-" Tony's hands moved at lightening speed and wrapped around Steve with a surprisingly strong grip. Maybe Tony was really starting to come out of his dazed state.

"You promised. Are you gonna lie to me again?" All the joy Steve felt in that moment died. The desperate comment made his blood run cold.

"No, of course not-"

"You said you weren't gonna leave me alone. Are you lying to me?" Steve could start to hear the anger in Tony's voice seep though and increase with each word and all the soldier could think off was what to do to calm Tony down. He wasn't lying. Not now.

"I'm not lying. I need to clear the way and no one is coming this way, but the com is just to keep an eye on you and make sure you can be rescued."

On hearing that logic, Tony's grip loosened a bit and he let go, pulling back slightly. But he locked gaze with Steve as the he sat back, looking more serious than Steve had ever seen him.

"When you do leave me, make sure you finish the job this time. Properly." The words didn't sound like anything Tony would normally say and Steve genuinely felt sick now.

Ignoring the drowning, icy sensation in the pit of his stomach, he shook his head and stared back at Tony who's expression was now blank. Steve wasn't lying but Tony didn't believe it. Of course he wouldn't would he?

"I am not leaving you behind. I won't let you down this time Tony, not after that. But for now I need you to believe I'll get you out of here to somewhere safe. Can you trust me enough for that?"

The genius being asked just blinked before turning his head away to look past Steve to a wall stubbornly, a slight frown appearing on his face. Steve's ears picked up the sound of multiple heavy footsteps which could only mean one thing and though he wanted to spend more time trying to convince Tony, he couldn't. Time was ticking and this could get a lot more difficult and dangerous, the longer they all remained here.

Gritting his teeth, Steve gripped Tony's arms and shook him gently, giving him the most imploring look he could and trying to gain the genius' attention.

"Tony, Please." He finally locked gaze with Tony and watched as the emotions flickered fast through his eyes. There was initial fear, then anger, then disbelief, indifference and now, finally, Steve could see a hint of the best emotion he could want right now. Hope.

"Tony..." Despite the grimace Tony instantly showed, his eyes were reflecting just a sliver of hope. It was then that Steve knew Tony was going to listen to him.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go make this easier for the both of us, shellhead and then we're going home."

This time, when Steve stood up, Tony watched him, eyes following his every move, face still looking grim. Slowly, Tony raised a hand to the com in his ears and closed his eyes. Steve could take a hint so he stood and headed around the corner of the steel corridor, and charged right ahead.

Passing dozens of doors, he finally approached the flock of black clothed guards and utterly thrashed them with his bare fists, not even needing the single gun he had. It took just under ten minutes to incapacitate all ten of them and another six minutes to store them in a side room. The entire time, Steve was just counting the minutes on how long he'd taken and immediately ran back to where Tony was, hoping Tony was fine.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the genius still sat there, only now he was leaning against the wall with his legs straight out, as opposed to folded beneath him. He must have heard Steve approaching because he was staring at the corner with wide eyes until Steve appeared.

"Rogers. God I didn't think you'd be that quick." He whispered as he closed his eyes and slumped back, energy clearly leaving him. Steve winced at the use of his surname. He already missed hearing his name from Tony and had been secretly thrilled when he heard Tony say it in the cell. No matter what, Tony would always be Tony to him and he'd hoped it was the same the other way.

Steve shook his head quickly and refocused on the task at hand.

_Now is not the time._

"I told you I was only taking care of the guards ahead." Steve said and frowned as Tony didn't say anything else, so he walked forward to Tony and had a quick look.

The billionaire was clearly exhausted, the whiteness of his face still indicative of nausea, and now he appeared close to passing out completely and Steve could tell it was only Tony's stubbornness that was keeping him up.

Steve didn't want to think it was fear.

He knelt beside Tony and slipped his arms around his shoulders and legs and lifted the Avenger back into his arms.

"Let me go." Tony said with a quiet sigh, but his breath hitched when he felt Steve hold him tighter and reflexively grabbed the black body armour Steve was wearing.

"Relax."

"Rogers-"

"We're going home." He didn't wait for an answer and immediately set off for the final stretch, praying that T'Challa and Bucky had made it and caught up with Scott. That all was going to plan.

"Tony, what are the others saying? Are they on track?"

"They're fine. Everything's going to plan. They..." Tony stopped abruptly and seconds of silence ticked by with only Steves heavy footsteps heard. Eventually, Steve stopped and looked down when the genius paused. He looked confused oddly enough and momentarily distracted.

"What's wrong?" Steve commanded, the three seconds of silence driving him up the wall, as he envisioned the quinjet being shot down or something worse.

"They...James just called me mini-Stark." Tony replied as he blinked a couple of times and placed his hand over the ear piece.

"Now he's saying the quinjet's in sight and that Cli-Barton better not fly off." Steve huffed and decided to keep moving. He'd forgotten about the mini-Stark thing but it was a good distraction, plus he'd never seen Tony looked so puzzled. His slight frowning actually did look a bit adorable.

"James wants to know how far you are from the quinjet." Tony muttered as Steve calculated the time.

"About five minutes from the first entrance so only seven minutes. Ask Scot how long we have left on security." As Tony did just that, Steve continued to run through the maze of corridors until he finally reached the initial corridor they started at. Nearby was the side room with the unconscious guards they'd impersonated and Steve knew he'd reached the checkpoint where he would meet Scott and they'd climb out and have Falcon pick them up. T'Challa and Bucky would follow after.

"Where are we? Why have we stopped?" Tony whispered, staring at the walls briefly and obviously appearing on edge.

"The exit is down there. We're waiting for Scott to show up and then we'll go."

Tony nodded and Steve gently placed him against the wall again. Then he knelt down in front of him.

"How're you feeling?" Steve asked as he gently curled his hand around Tony's neck, fingertips brushing at the end curls of his hair. Steve could tell the fever had increased and he mentally cursed but reigned in his anger.

Since he'd been here, the entire rescue had been a test of his self restraint to not beat up every single person in this complex, starting with Ross. His priority was Tony but that didn't mean he was happy leaving Ross to survive after what he'd done to Tony. But he was fine, so Steve would deal with Ross later.

"Fine." Tony replied stiffly and turned his head away from Steve's hand. "How long till Lang gets he-Oh..." Tony cut off as he twisted his head away again, blatantly ignoring Steve's attempt at comfort and trying to shake off the hand. Steve didn't move but gently rubbed at the back of Tony's neck and almost instantly felt the genius' tension drain a bit. It gave Steve an idea.

"Just relax. I've got you Tony, you're safe with me." Steve said and he slipped his other hand behind and pressed down at the points between Tony's neck and shoulders. Tony groaned and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.

Steve continued pressing down, trying to relieve the tension, Tony was incredibly tense.

"...whoa..." He said faintly and Steve felt the engineer loosen in his hands.

"Tony? Does that feel better?" Tony kept his eyes closed and his body lax but lifted a hand up to bat at one of Steve's hands. It was a useless attempt, it was obvious to anyone.

"...S-stop it..." Steve pressed down particularly hard and Tony moaned and practically melted, dropping his hand, far from Steve's. As far as Steve was concerned, Tony needed some looking after.

"You're enjoying it though." Letting out a huff, Tony shook his head gently but it was obviously not very convincing.

"I'm not." He breathed out, eyes barely open, but they both knew the lie.

"I'm not gonna stop so you might as well relax. Enjoy it. Come on." Steve urged but kept up the gentle massage, hopefully giving Tony, at least a bit of a chance to recover from the last month.

An idea had formed in Steve's head from the message Tony had left for him on the phone, that maybe Tony wanted someone to care for him as opposed to the other way round. If Tony stayed with him in Wakanda, he would make it happen. Steve swallowed-it was time to ask.

"Tony, there's something I want to ask you?"

"Mmhm ask." Steve hadn't paused and kept pressing. He wanted to replace the past memory of having Tony at his mercy by having him get used to being safe around Steve. In that Steve was there For him, not against.

"Will you stay with me in Wakanda?" Tony didn't open his eyes but Steve felt the tension reappear almost instantly. To counter it, he pulled Tony towards him, forcing his co-leader to lean his head against his shoulder and rubbed at Tony's neck firmly, keeping up the motions. Tony groaned quietly into Steve's neck but didn't pull back.

"I know what you're thinking but please, for once Tony let someone else take care of everything. You told me you and Pepper were on a break, you can stay with me-"

"Not break. Done." Tony whispered into Steve's neck and Steve stopped what he was doing for a moment.

"You and Pepper aren't-are not together anymore?" Tony shook his head against his shoulder and Steve hugged him close, decision now made.

"You're coming with me Tony. For your own sake. I definitely won't let you be alone now. I was wrong to let you go, I won't make the same mistake twice. Okay?" Steve pulled Tony back and looked him straight in the eye. There wasn't so much a sad expression, it was more a resigned expression that reminded Steve of when Tony gave up in the cell before being injected. Since when had Steve failed to notice that Tony had given up?

"Okay." Tony sighed and looked down at his own hands. Steve saw them shaking and covered them with his own with no hesitation.

"You don't have to worry about anything." Tony nodded at that and for a moment, the two leaders just stared at one another, just taking in everything. Steve didn't know what Tony saw, but whatever it was must have satisfied him because he didn't change his mind. He didn't say anything at all.

"Hey, Captain America! We're okay on the leave and-oh, Mr. Stark. Are you okay?" Both Avengers broke their staring when Antman appeared out of seemingly nowhere. Steve was glad that Scott was back because they could finally leave and frankly, he was sick of this place already and who knew how Tony felt. So the captain stood up and turned to Scott.

"Have you sent the signal to Falcon?"

"Yep. And he's on his way. It takes about five minutes for him to fly from the quinjet to here. Mr. Stark?" Steve blinked at Scott before he looked down at Tony who was staring at Scott like he couldn't believe he was here. But then of course, Tony didn't know who Scott was so he probably didn't expect to have him join the rescue.

"You... I thought you didn't even like me..." Tony spoke quietly as his gaze turned questioning.

Scott just shrugged and smiled. "I don't actually know you so how can I be sure of whether I like you or not? Besides, Captain America likes you and if _He_ likes you, well-" he raised a hand to his own comm and turned to Steve. "Falcons outside that door. He says he's ready."

Steve nodded and crouched back down next to Tony. Without a word, he pulled the genius up to stand and held Tony up carefully. This time Tony was silent and just kept staring up at Steve. He sighed and looked down at the curious brown eyes in turn.

"Tony, I'm gonna hand you over to Sam and he's gonna fly you to the quinjet. Then he'll come back for me and Scott. Okay?" Tony shifted and tried to look confident but it failed and looked more like he was trying to hide away from himself, sending a jolt of sadness through Steve. The captain dreaded the next words, half knowing they would hurt to hear.

"You should go first. It doesn't matter if something happens to me, I can-" oddly, that statement was what finally made Steve break and full out growl and push and crowd Tony up against the wall and shake with anger.

_Suddenly_ , he was so angry and upset and he'd been hiding it for a month now, his own anger at himself being too great. He had initially been unable to save both Bucky and Tony and now he was seeing the effects it had on both. Bucky had initially wanted to go back into cryo because he didn't think he was worth saving and Tony was now resigned to being left behind to practically be killed for the sake of anyone.

"Do you _really_ want to do that Tony? Really? Don't even try and put yourself last. You go first. Understood?" It surprised Steve more than Tony, how much that sounded more like a scream than a command. But he was so fed up of Tony being left behind and he was sure the genius was used to it by now, but Steve was gonna break that trend. Once he had made up his mind, he wasn't gonna stop. 

"Understood, Tony?" He commanded, slightly louder and Tony nodded quickly, looking pale and stunned, with wide eyes but no longer on the verge of tears. The effect the words had on Tony was strange. If anything, he looked almost hopeful, though still stunned.

"Yes." 

"Good." The door slid open and there stood Sam, jet pack and wings and all. Sam's reliability was almost unparalleled.

Falcon stepped forward and gestured to Tony. "Give him to me. I'll take him to the quinjet and be back in five. You think you can hold the fort down?"

"Yep. Tony? You think you can stand and hold onto Sam on your own?" Despite Steve saying it, he kept a firm grip around Tony's shoulders and didn't let go until Sam coughed and said quietly;

"Steve. I can't take Ironman if you have iron _grip_ on Ironman."

Scott snickered at the dry sarcasm, while Steve quickly let go as if he'd been burnt. Tony could've fallen if he'd let go earlier. Steve wasn't trying to hold him down or anything...

Tony said nothing as Sam stood in front of him and pulled his wrists gently. "Put your arms around me and you should feel some handles. Grab them and don't let go. It won't take long." Steve watched as Tony nodded, eyes unsure, but doing as he was told. Satisfied that Tony would be safe and hopefully everyone would be okay, Steve let out a relieved sigh.

"Captain." Sam nodded as he grabbed Tony's waist and took off.

Scott scowled. "He didn't even say goodbye to me. I mean I know I'm new but still."

Steve huffed, amused at the comment. Scott really knew how to calm everyone down and at times like this, it was a blessing.

"You're good Scott. You did good." Steve watched as the newcomer grinned, looking so happy in his ant helmet. He fist pumped the air and he beamed.

"Captain America thinks I'm good! Yes!" Laughing, Steve shook his head. It wasn't everyday he met someone so easily excited. It made him want to do better by everyone, if just to prove that he was worthy of such attention.

Suddenly all the happiness died. He hadn't been there for Tony. He didn't regret his actions-Bucky was his brother in every way except blood but Steve shouldn't have left Tony behind in Siberia. And he certainly shouldn't have left him alone for a month with nothing but a letter and a phone. There hadn't been any defence for Tony other than Vision and Rhodey, both of whom needed to take care of themselves and so there was practically no one for Tony to turn to. The phone hadn't been enough-he...

He should have gone to Tony personally. Instead, he'd _isolated_ him.

"You alright Captain America?" Steve blinked out of his daze and looked at Scott who had also stopped smiling. Sighing, Steve rubbed his forehead gently.

"I was wrong. I shouldn't have left Tony behind. If Ross hadn't made that phone call, Tony wouldn't even be..." Alive. Tony, _their_ Tony would be dead. And Steve had let it nearly happen.

What had he done?

"Whoah! Cap! Steve, it's okay, you saved him. And now we can bring mini-Stark to Wakanda." Scott said, looking really concerned.

Oh. Captain America wasn't supposed to nearly be in tears. "I... You're right. I have a chance to try and sort everything out. The Avengers could regroup after this. And...maybe Tony would forgive me."

Steve knew it was wishful thinking to hope things would go back to how it was before. But he needed to hold it together. Morale in the team had been practically absent since the team had split and Steve was sure everyone on Tony's side felt it too.

The door leading to outside, opened up again and Sam stepped through grinning, eyes unusually bright after what seemed like forever.

"Stark has been successfully retrieved and secured on the quinjet. Now let's get outta here."

 

* * *

 

 

Tony felt like he was in a permanent dream and it was by far, the strangest sensation he'd felt in a long time. One moment he had been held by Steve, the next he was being held by Sam and now he was being held by James Barnes, who was currently kneeling in front of him and holding him up by his arms, while T'Challa was pulling out some supply from a box, Tony couldn't see.

As soon as Falcon had arrived with him on the floating quinjet, James had grabbed Tony by his waist and led him to the seats in the hull of the plane. He'd been pushed into a seat hastily and held in place by the Winter soldier, who stared at him and didn't take his eyes off him for even a second.

Slightly unnerved and convinced he was still dreaming, Tony turned his head away from the laser stare and saw T'Challa approach them, mask now removed and holding out a pen light. Concern was written all over his face and Tony couldn't help but wonder why. With the grace of a King, the warrior stopped in front of Bucky and gestured to Tony.

"May I?" Bucky nodded, eyes still searing in their gaze on Tony and shifted to the left, still keeping hold of Tony as T'Challa bent down and tilted Tony's head back, waving the light in his eyes. Tony was used to being manhandled at this point and stranglely didn't mind the kind hands on him. They didn't want to hurt him for once.

After a minute, T'Challa pulled back and nodded to Bucky. "He's dazed but there's no brain damage we can see from the serum. But he needs a blood test and water, now."

No sooner than T'Challa had said it, did an open bottle appear in front of Tony's lips and with it, a demand.

"Drink. You're dehydrated." Bucky said with a non-arguable tone and so Tony opened his mouth, accepting the drink wholeheartedly and deciding to play along to whatever was happening. It wasn't like he was strong enough to defend himself anyway but being here at the mercy of the Winter soldier, would have had him paralysed anyway, had it not been for the fact that Bucky was giving him, _feeding_ him water.

"There we go, you're doing great mini-Stark. You're going to be fine, I promise." Bucky took the bottle away and then without warning, pushed Tony to the side till he was lying horizontal along the seats of the quinjet. Bucky lifted his feet up onto the seats too and stood up, satisfied with the change in Tony's position, leaving Tony to just stare up at him. Okay, he was done with the man handling. Rude.

Crossing his arms, Bucky gave a smug look to T'Challa and spoke. "Look, Steve's gonna be pleased with me."

The black panther sighed but then tilted his head and looked at Tony as if he just realised something important.

"It's not a competition to see who can take care of Ironman best. But all the same..." T'Challa turned around and fished something out of the supply box and stepped back to Tony, sharply shaking out a blue blanket before letting it fall on Tony.

Despite trying to suss out what was going on and feeling very overwhelmed, Tony couldn't help but grasp the blue edges in his hands and curl up underneath, burying under the warm soft comfort. He was still so cold, but this felt better. He closed his eyes and heard Bucky clap T'Challa on the shoulder above him. So much for scary Winter soldier. 

"See. Now you're getting it. Mini-Stark part two is all about comfort."

"Will you just shut, up Bucky!?" Instantly Tony opened his eyes, jerked and pushed himself upright and turned, trying to ignore the dizzying sickness that attacked him. It had been Clint who'd shouted. And properly shouted at that. Tony shivered and frowned to himself, Clint never shouted. He hadn't realised Clint was even piloting this-what was wrong with him? And why was Clint so angry?

"What the hell Barton?" Bucky said very, very quietly as Wanda, who'd also just appeared out of nowhere, stepped out of the shadows to stand near Tony. While Bucky and Clint continued a death match through the eyes, Wanda grabbed Tony by both shoulders and shook him gently, startling Tony even more.

"What were you thinking!?" She hissed as Tony shrank into himself, feeling a whole pit of despair open below his heart.

"I don't-I'm sorry-I..." Now he understood. It made sense, why Wanda and Clint would blame him. No wonder they were angry. He was just another guy who'd screwed up but they'd expected better and he'd tried so hard but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough from him. He... Wanted to stop. Ruining everything, he just...why...

_Why is everything blurry?_

He thought to himself as he suddenly felt gravity take a way stronger hold and he fell to the side again only this time he collapsed, feeling strangely weak. The room was spinning and he couldn't make out what was being said. Just faint sounds in the background over the increasing buzz in his ears. 

"Are you alright, Stark?" Kind hands on his shoulders again but he couldn't breathe-

"You need to back off, Barton. He's here, deal with it!" Someone yelled.

"He's a traitor!" Breathe...he needed to...

"Clint!" A girls voice. Wanda.

"Stark, look at me. Focus-" the voice was kind and he wanted to ask it for help, truly, for once, Tony wanted help...

"Don't call him a-" the voice faded out briefly and the room darkened before his eyes.

Maybe Clint was right about that too. Maybe he was a traitor too. It wasn't like he knew anymore.

"Tony! Tony look at me! Breathe come on, I know you can do it! Tony, listen to me, don't close your eyes, TONY-!" The room blackened completely just as Steve's frantic voice in the background did too. In that moment all Tony could think of was how he'd never heard someone sound so scared in his life. He wanted to tell the person it was fine now. He could breathe again, he was fine.

He was lying. He hadn't felt fine in a long time.

 

* * *

 

 "It's pretty windy out here!" Steve yelled over the sound of waves crashing against the Raft walls and the wind whistling, skies grey with clouds.

"When I flew James up, I nearly dropped him." Sam said and took a sharp turn to the left and zoomed forward and Steve made sure to check that Scott was still there and hadn't fallen into the sea.

"Heya Captain, after this, are we heading to T'Challa's place?" Scott asked as Sam made another sharp left turn.

"Yes."

"With Mr.Stark?"

Steve only hesitated for a second. "Yes." It had been decided.

"That's great! Then maybe we can sort this whole thing out."

"I sure hope so."

With no more words, Sam soared and eventually dropping into the open latch at the top of the quinjet. When Steve stood tall and looked around however, his mind blanked.

Bucky and Clint were screaming at each other with Wanda holding them back and T'Challa was trying to talk to Tony who was lying on the seats and hardly breathing properly.

A panic attack, Steve's mind supplied. A full on panic attack and Bucky and Clint were screaming in front of Tony. Steve didn't think. He went straight for Tony and knelt by him, trying to get his attention but Tony didn't seem to notice. In fact, he hardly seemed to be noticing anything. He was going to pass out-

"Tony! Tony look at me! Breathe come on, I know you can do it! Tony, listen to me, don't close your eyes, TONY-!" It didn't work and suddenly all the erratic breathing shuddered to a halt before it relaxed and natural rhythm took control.

Tony eyes slid shut and his body went limp against the seats, looking more vulnerable than the soldier was used to. Steve huffed out forcefully and stood up. At least Tony would be breathing properly now and get a bit more rest. But that shouldn't have happened forcefully. Tony's panic attacks were awful and often got worse when people screamed-Rhodey had told all of them that and yet...

Steve looked at Bucky and Clint and narrowed his eyes. He was so angry right now, he struggled to keep his fists to himself. What were they thinking?

"Bucky, Clint, explain. Now!" Clint scowled and walked back to the pilots chair but Bucky stayed put looking strangely pleased.

"Clint was an idiot and he knows it." Clint scoffed.

"What, so Stark isn't a traitor? Wanda agrees with me."

"Clint!" Bucky growled but Steve felt an overwhelming sadness. He was getting tired of this.

"Wanda?" He said, sounding so let down. He had thought Wanda had let go of that grudge. They'd discussed it after they escaped to Wakanda and she had said she knew it wasn't Tony's fault the team had been imprisoned. Was that all a lie? Was she messing with Tony's mind again?

"I didn't mean that!" She hissed at Clint, ignoring Steve completely. "I meant, what was he thinking not telling us about Ross! You know it wasn't Tony."

"You were put in a straight jacket!" Clint yelled, losing all control and Steve really wanted to smack Clint now.

"Yes but not by him!" Wanda shouted and pointed at the unconscious avenger.

"Didn't it upset you!? Hell, it was insane!"

"Yes it did but-"

"See, this wouldn't have happened if Tony wasn't around-"

"CLINT!" Steve roared and grabbed him by his collar. What was wrong with Clint?

The shock of Steve shouting and physically acting stopped all noise and even Steve was shocked at how angry he'd gotten. Usually it was Tony who got him so riled. He never thought he'd get so angry on Tony's behalf. But Steve's patience was running out.

"Steve...let go please." Clint swallowed and Steve could see the sweat dripping down his forehead. So he let go but still stared down at Clint.

"Why are you behaving this way? Don't you care about Tony at all?" Clint looked away from the accusation, his expression dark.

"Leave it. It's not like you care that much about him either. Otherwise you would've taken him with you." Then Clint looked directly at Steve. "It's too late. The Avengers are finished and Tony will never be an Avenger again. Deal with it Steve. Move on."

Steve steeled his gaze, feeling completely back in control. He knew what he was going to do and he would do it right this time. Finally, he'd been asked a question he actually had an answer to.

"I am moving on. I'm moving forward but this time I'm bringing Tony with me." Clint didn't say another word, merely turned and sat down in the pilots seat and Steve went back to Tony, ignoring all the looks of concern. He could deal with Clint later.

Carefully, he sat down next to Tony and pulled the genius towards him so that he was lying along the seats with his head in Steve's lap. Sighing, Steve gestured to T'Challa.

"The blanket."

T'Challa silently lifted it over and Steve pulled it up and curled it around Tony. Then he sighed again and raked his hand through Tony's hair, just pausing for a moment and not taking his eyes off Tony for even a second.

"Let's go home."

 

* * *

 

He felt so warm. It was wonderful, he hadn't felt this cozy in so long. He really couldn't remember the last time he'd felt anything other than cold and that had sucked more than he'd openly admit. The heat was because he was buried in a blanket and his pillow was radiating it. And the hand stroking his hair felt amazing, he really didn't want it to stop. If he could stay like this forever he'd be happy.

  
"He's gonna need that blood test when we get there. He looks flushed." The sound of someone's voice travelled but didn't register and Tony didn't understand what the voice meant until the hand in his hair stopped moving. Tony frowned, wanting the hand to continue but the hand just shifted, pushing his hair back to make room for another hand that landed on his forehead. That felt good though because it felt even warmer. He really wanted to feel that, it came with a sense of security he never felt these days.

  
More voices.

  
"He's feverish. Was the serum supposed to cause that? He's been asleep for the entire journey-that's six hours!?"

  
"Sergeant, the serum does but it wasn't supposed to make him so ill. I believe stress has led to this. Stress often pushes symptoms to an extreme. And do not forget that he is exhausted."

  
The hand checking his temperature disappeared but the other hand continued stroking. Tony smiled. Much better.

  
"Tony was always one to overdo it. And he had been pushed. I messed up and Ross took advantage. It won't happen again."  
Messed up? What won't happen again? Nothing was making sense.

  
In his comfortable blanket bundle, Tony shifted and shuffled over, rolling around to try and hear some more. But he ended up dislodging his head hand and feeling a wall of heat against his cheek. He moaned sadly, feeling utterly disappointed.

  
"He'll be alright. But don't forget, we need a plan for Vision and Rhodey. Vision could probably stand his ground but it's not a good idea to be separated anymore."

  
Tony shook his head (that was a good idea, he liked this person's idea) and realised the wall was actually a bit softer, so he turned completely and hid his face in the wall. The scent of leather and spices surrounded him and instantly his eyes shot open.

  
That scent. Steve? Was this Rogers!?

  
The wall shook and Tony turned again and looked up. Steve was grinning a bit and was looking straight ahead at someone else.

  
"He's here though. It's been a month and now he's here, which means maybe we can sort this whole thing out."

  
Tony blinked slowly and tried to wrack his brain for an explanation. Why was he so slow right now? His head was pounding...  
And was Steve talking about the accords? But that was easy, they just had to take out Ross and reevaluate the documents. Oh, and destroy the Raft. That place was a hellhole. Stupid Ross.

  
"Hey look..."Sam's voice said softly and Tony also wanted to know what he was looking at, so he followed Steve's movement and-oh.

  
"Hey..." Steve was looking straight down at him and was giving him the most pleased look he'd ever seen anyone give him, barring maybe Rhodey when he found an arc-reactor Tony in Afghanistan.

  
"Hey..." Tony replied on auto-pilot, not quite sure what to say. What do you say to someone you care about, hate and worship? And who'd rescued you after beating you to the ground?

  
"How do you feel? Are you alright?" The concern behind the blue eyes was obvious and for once, Tony actually wanted it to be directed to him. It made him feel strange but also happy? Maybe? He wasn't sure.

  
He blinked under the scrutiny. "I feel warm."

  
Steve's smile dropped slightly. "You're running a temperature. We're keeping an eye on it."

  
"Hmm." Tony frowned, realising that would explain why he couldn't think clearly and looked to the rest of the team sat in the seats opposite them. Sam and T'Challa were watching him carefully and Wanda was looking upset at the ground. Clint and Scott were piloting up front and Steve was obviously here, acting as his pillow. Bucky was stood in the centre with his arms crossed and his expression deep in thought.

  
"We're on our way to Wakanda. Do you remember what happened?"

  
"I-" Tony turned back to Steve and frowned. "You were the guards?"

  
Steve nodded once and the smile reappeared like a puppy who'd just been told he'd done a very good job.

  
"The whole time?"

  
Another, stronger puppy nod and Tony gaped.

  
"You were there the whole time!? Why didn't you-"

  
"Save you sooner?" Bucky supplied and Steve raised an eyebrow at the soldier, but kept smiling slightly.

  
"Yes."

  
"We wanted to. But security would mean proof and we couldn't give it to them. We had to wait for Scott to disable security. But we were there." Steve explained as he rested his left arm over Tony's waist, pulled him closer and continued playing with his hair with the other hand. It made Tony wonder what Steve was thinking but the way Steve was holding him made him feel just as safe as when he felt Steve in his cell. Tony couldn't help but bury himself further into the blankets and relax.

  
"I agreed to go with you to Wakanda didn't I?" He suddenly remembered and cringed. Why did he agree?  
Steve sank his fingers further into his hair as if that would stop Tony from disappearing and nodded, grinning again.

  
"You did. And now we're about five minutes from there. I'm gonna take you to the medical area where we'll get you checked over and then I'll take you to your room and you can relax. We just need to make sure the serum hasn't done anything unwanted." 

  
Tony turned away and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to fight the nauseating headache that came out of nowhere. "This is a bad idea."

  
"No it isn't. We can mend things and I can explain myself to you."

  
"I don't want your explanation. I don't want anything from you, Rogers. Just drop me off at the compound and-what?" Steve was shaking his head in disagreement but Tony struggled to contain the sudden anger he felt. 

  
"I can't leave you on your own. I shouldn't have in the first place but now I definitely can't. Not while Ross is still alive."

  
Tony's eyes widened at that. "You're going to kill Ross? You'll get arrested for murder for real."

  
All of a sudden, the tension in the room increased. Steve was silent as he looked at Bucky opposite him. The Winter soldier smiled in turn.

  
"Steve would love to kill Ross. Or not kill him, probably torture him."

  
It took every ounce of Tony's self discipline to hold back the laugh that was bubbling up his throat. Did Bucky really not know his best friend?

  
"Captain America wouldn't kill anyone, let alone torture." Tony smirked but stopped when Bucky looked at him seriously.

  
"He would. If someone threatened someone very close to him, he'd destroy them. You should know that by now."

  
Maybe he was missing something, in fact Tony was sure because Steve looked so upset in an instant, he wondered if there was a double meaning to that statement.

  
"Yeah, well we can deal with Ross later. I'm sure he won't go after Barnes, now that he's half experimented on me." Tony said as he looked at Steve more closely and nearly gaped again. Why was Steve staring at him like that? Captain America looked so distraught and very upset. No, not Captain America, Steve Rogers.

  
Steve closed his eyes as if in pain and spoke very clearly.  
"Tony. It's not Bucky I'm worried about." He opened his eyes and locked gaze with Tony.

  
"It's you."

  
Tony blinked a couple of times and then started to laugh hysterically. What was Steve even on about?

  
"What?" Tony asked between laughs.

  
Steve's gaze hardened. "I don't see what's so funny about that."

  
Still laughing, Tony replied. "You don't need to worry about me."

  
"I do. God Tony, I never wanted to hurt you!"  
Finally Tony stopped laughing and smiled softly. Steve didn't realise at all and Tony knew he had caught Steve by surprise with his extreme reactions.

  
"You're too late. You can't do anything to change what's happened. Rogers."

  
Steve shook his head, resolute but Tony knew that soon enough, Steve would realise there was no going back. That they both couldn't do anything and Ross had won. And after everything in Siberia, there couldn't be any way to go back, could there?

  
"Ross has won. And he'll go after all of us. At some point anyway." Tony sighed and breathed in Steve's scent, seeking comfort unconsciously. Why couldn't anyone see the reality?

  
Out of the blue, Sam had stepped forward next to Bucky and shook his head slowly and almost, mockingly.

  
"Wow, Stark. It's like _you_ really can't see the obvious." Sam tutted and crossed his arms. Tony knew this was a trick of some kind, it was so obvious. "Why do you think Ross went after you?"

  
He still fell for it. Tony's expression flicked from open to closed within seconds and he answered it. "Because I didn't talk to the UN. I wouldn't talk to him either. And they thought I knew where Rogers was." Tony felt Steve flinch against him but the soldier still kept his hand in his hair. A part of Tony was so glad for it, while the other part wanted to wrestle the hand off. God, he really didn't know how he felt about Steve being this close. He'd started of feeling comfortable and now...he was still comfortable. He shuddered and tried to focus on the warmth of the blanket but Steve's hand was making it difficult to ignore how content he felt.

_Now is not the time for past feelings, Stark. Get it together! This man abandoned you._

_And you deserved it._

  
Bucky scoffed while Sam just smirked and nodded at Tony.

  
"He thought that you and Steve were in contact. So if you disappeared, Steve would try and find you. Whether by using the phone or-" Sam raised an eyebrow to gesture. "-by kidnapping you. He knew it would get Steve out in the open. He knows you're important to Steve and he used it."

Tony's mind froze. Trick implemented.

  
That...actually made sense. Why Ross had encouraged him to call Steve and even ask for help from Steve. He had really believed Steve would come. He'd even said it, how could Tony forget?

  
And Steve had. As much as Tony tried to ignore it, Steve had pulled through and come for him and that made him feel momentarily incredible. Maybe he could pretend that he actually mattered a bit to Steve. Just a bit.

But still...

  
"Awww Stark, you can be damn freaking cute man." Scott said from behind as Sam and Bucky laughed and that's when Tony realised he was smiling a huge bright smile-the first he'd smiled since he'd returned from Siberia, in fact. And Steve was staring at him, open-mouthed as if he'd just realised something.

  
"Rogers?"

  
Steve shook his head and looked towards the front but not before Tony caught the slight pink shade on Steve's face.

  
Tony wanted to say more, to understand but suddenly, the quinjet began its descent and Clint told the team, they'd be landing in five. As Tony lay there, in Steve's arms, he wondered what would be next in store for them all.

  
But one thing was for sure, he wanted to keep feeling this safe and content for as long as he could. Before it was taken away from him again and he was left behind once more. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg this is terrible-I'm taking forever! Ah well the next chapter is being written so don't worry-it should hopefully be up soon after this but I am so sorry D; I could provide a whole list of reasons why this is late but I'd figure you'd much rather read the next chapter so here we go! As always, COMMENTS GIVE ME FEELS SO PLEASE GIVE ME THE COMMENTS YES? :D ANYWAYS here we go....

 

"We shall know for certain once the blood test results have come through but for now, I'd say that Mr. Stark will be able to make a full recovery, provided his weight improves and he gets plenty of rest."

"You're sure there won't be any lasting effects of the experimental serum?"

  
"We are more or less certain, Captain Rogers."

  
Once they had landed in the Wakanda flight zone, T'Challa had quickly called the medical team and informed them to be prepared for Tony's arrival. And of course, Steve had been very quick in carrying him from the quinjet to to the private hospital room where the med team was waiting. Tony didn't make a single sound as he was gently placed on the bed, but watched with a slight weariness as Steve discussed his health with the woman who was the head consultant, above his bed.

  
"If it is alright with you, Mr. Stark we'd like to take some blood samples. Would it be okay if we did this now?" The woman- Dr. Shira, the name tag supplied- asked him calmly and under all the eyes staring at him, he nodded and sat up, though his hands shook at the thought of more needles.

  
At the response, Dr. Shira stepped out and asked for some equipment, leaving Tony to scope out the room, or more accurately, the people in it.

Why had the team followed him here?

T'Challa and Bucky were stood, guarding both sides of the door, whereas Sam and Wanda were sat in chairs against the white walls opposite the single bed. Scott and weirdly enough, Clint were leaning against the large glass window to the right of the bed, overlooking some kind of tropical jungle. Honestly speaking, the leaves and lack of spaces between the trees reminded Tony of the zoo exhibits which held snakes or colourful frogs. Wakanda, just based on the jungle, was breathtakingly tropical and beautiful.

  
That would have been the most fascinating thing for Tony, had it not been for the super soldier who was stood right next to him and taking active control of his health care. Steve wasn't just keeping him company, he was outright questioning the doctors every word. It was like he was taking complete control of Tony's care and it baffled the billionaire more than anything.

  
Dr. Shira strolled back into the room, holding a tray with a syringe, bottle and elastic band. She placed it down on the desk near the bed and lifted up the rubber band for Tony to see.

  
"Mr. Stark, would you please hold your arm out?" He did so and the doctor tied the band around the area above his inner elbow. On her say so, he flexed his arm a few times and held it straight as she rubbed an iodine soaked piece of cotton onto the area. He shivered at the odd feeling since it wasn't very comforting, but she at least seemed very practiced at this.

  
Cotton placed back on the tray, she held up the syringe and checked it over and despite not wanting to appear helpless, Tony flinched at the sight of the sharp instrument. He vaguely remembered Ross talking about the serum when he'd been out of it and he'd also remembered the needle going in-

  
"Alright Mr. Stark, just a small scratch-"

  
"Wait a minute." Steve interrupted and held a hand up and sat down next to Tony on the bed. "Give me your hand."

  
Tony blinked and tried to ignore the stares from the surrounding team. "Why?"

  
Steve sighed but reached for Tony's lax hand anyway. "Just let me do it."

  
Steve gripped the hand tight and pulled it to his lap, away from Tony. He gave a quick nod to the doctor and squeezed Tony's hand gently.

  
"A small scratch Mr. Stark-" Tony scrunched his eyes shut at the familiar feeling. It wasn't as if he'd never felt needles before but for some reason, this just filled him with dread.

  
"Tony, look at me." Steve said firmly as he squeezed his hand and Tony opened his eyes but made the mistake of fixing his gaze directly on the syringe draining his blood. His whole body trembled at the site and the doctor felt it because she looked up in surprise.

  
"Hey." A hand appeared in front of Tony and oddly enough, pushed his face, forcing him to look directly at Steve instead. Steve, who was looking at him with worry and in the corner of Tony's eyes, he could see the team looking the same.

  
"Don't look." The captain said as he shifted his hand to rest firmly around the back of Tony's neck.  
Soon enough, the needle was retracted and the doctor stood up, after making sure there was no excess bleeding.

  
"It would be best to eat something, I can order anything in the cafeteria, so would you like something specific?" Dr. Shira asked kindly.

  
Honestly speaking, the very idea of food made him nauseous and he just wanted to get away from the medical bay as quickly as possible. So he shook his head and looked to the floor, completely oblivious to Steve's frown.

  
"Dr. Shira, could you please get some soup or just anything light?" Steve quickly spoke as he tightened his grip on Tony when he felt the genius look at him. Pointedly, Steve looked at Tony as he said loudly;

  
"He needs to eat something." In a complete, no-nonsense-don't even-think-about-saying-no voice, or at least, that's what Tony felt. It made him glare at the floor angrily. Who the hell was Steve to tell him what to do?

  
"Of course, Captain." And with that, the doctor left the room, hopefully never to be seen again by Tony. As soon as she left, the team stepped closer around him, making him feel crowded and probably to keep an eye on him.

  
There was a minute of silence as each team member looked at each other before Bucky shifted but was beaten to it by T'Challa, who extended his hand to Tony.

  
"You shall remain here and rest, Ironman. When you recover, you are free to roam around Wakanda." T'Challa explained and waited for an answer, or a handshake and Tony could see what he was trying to do. He used to be welcoming and hospitable to the Avengers too once. The very action itself made Tony want to warn T'Challa that the Avengers were not to be trusted-himself especially. Nevertheless, he shook the hand offered and kept his face expressionless. The tension deflated a tiny amount around him and Sam even smiled at the sight, gathering enough strength to speak.

  
"Listen Tony, we'll make sure Rhodey and Vision are safe, already Bucky and I have planned a-"

  
"Oh god, wait, what about Laura and Nat?" Tony dropped T'Challa's hand and blurted without even thinking about it and instantly Sam stopped smiling.

  
Tony had completely forgotten about them in all the excitement. What if they'd been taken? What if Ross had done something already?

  
"We have to find them! Ross may have them already!" Tony exclaimed and jumped up, nearly knocking T'Challa and Sam over. Ignoring them, Tony took a few steps forward, before everything suddenly went blurry and the room span out of focus. He thought he heard Sam and Steve say his name, but the voices sounded far away. The floor started to rush up to meet him and he closed his eyes, bracing himself for the fall. Then something strange happened.

  
Hands stopped him by wrapping around his waist from behind and he was quickly yanked back up and pushed back to the bed. For a second, Tony believed it was Steve who'd caught him but it hadn't been.

  
It was Clint.

  
The archer stood in front of him, looking more angry than he'd ever seemed, even including what Tony had seen on the quinjet. But he'd caught him? Why?

  
Tony tilted his head up to look directly at Clint, eyes narrowed and questioning. "Why'd you just-"

  
"What have you done to Laura!?" Clint growled at him and clenched his fists, as if ready to punch the living day lights out of Tony. He should have known Clint would react this way and yet...

  
Tony fixed his old friend with a stern gaze, but on the inside, his heart was all over the place. "Clint, I didn't know-"

  
"What!? Know what!? That Ross knew where they were!? How could you not know that Tony!?" Clint roared and flung his hands in the air, all the inhabitants in the room jerked forward at the sudden movement.

  
"Clint, stop-!" Sam tried and reached out a hand but Clint stepped back from it and pointed at Tony. Steve shook his head in warning but it went ignored.

  
"This guy claims he had no idea about Ross, about the accords, about Laura and Nat or Anything!"

  
"Enough-"

  
"Don't try and protect him Steve, you know he's at fault here-!"

  
"No, you need to calm down-"

  
"Why should we even keep him here!? Send him back to Ross, it's not like any of us actually want him here!"

  
By this point Clint was on a roll. The logical side of Tony wanted to argue that Clint was probably just concerned about his family and Nat, but the other side of him believed every word Clint was saying. It made sense, that none of them would actually want him now.  
Somehow, Steve had stood up and was standing in front of Clint, looking mixed between imploring and commanding. "You know he's here for protection."

  
Anger left Clint's voice but it was replaced with something cold and nearly silent.

"I know the only reason he's here is because you don't want him out there, taking more lives than all of us put together."

  
A hope Tony didn't even know he had, shattered to pieces. He had been trying, he really had but...

Steve paled and his eyes widened. "Take that back Clint." He whispered.

  
Clint seemed to realise he'd overstepped because he started to speak but the words died on his lips at the sight of Tony, sat on the medical bed, looking so upset and pale. The man looked drained and thin and he'd been silently taking each verbal strike like he accepted it.

  
Silently, Steve also turned to Tony who was looking at the floor, his head bowed and more than vulnerable to anything Clint wanted to dish out. This wasn't fair, they could never begin to fix things if Clint wasn't willing to see.

  
"Clint, come outside with me for a second." Steve quietly spoke, taking sadistic pleasure in the fact that Clint was surprised by Tony's lack of response. It proved his point that Tony needed to be protected.

  
The two left the room, leaving Scott, Wanda, Sam, T'Challa and Bucky to deal with a speechless Tony.  
T'Challa coughed lightly and stepped towards the door, gesturing at Wanda and Scott. "I will bring some water and check with the doctors about that meal. Lang, Maximof, I would be grateful for your assistance. James, Sam." T'Challa merely nodded to them before leaving with Wanda and Scott.

  
Sam instantly closed the door and turned to Tony. "He's wrong, that's not why you're here. You know that right?"

  
Tony didn't say anything and kept his eyes to the floor. He'd been delusional in thinking that the team actually cared about him. He was here because he was a problem. He hurt people and needed supervision, that's what Clint had meant and he was right. The facts were clear, he needed to be stopped and if that meant staying here instead of out there, then this was better. He wouldn't try to run now because he needed to be kept away where he couldn't hurt anyone else.

  
He just wished Ross had given him that final dose before Steve had found him. At least he would have died, believing Steve had saved him because he cared about him.

  
Bucky shifted round the bed and sat in the spot, Steve had previously claimed next to Tony, briefly shaking Tony out of his thoughts. He looked up at the Winter soldier and looked down again, swallowing against the tight feeling in his throat. He found himself blinking a couple of times but didn't make a sound. Bucky's eyes widened, horrified and he instantly spoke up.

  
"Shit, no! You can't cry mini-Stark! We're happy you're here, believe me, Steve has been waiting for this, we all have! Bird-brain dick-face especially!" Bucky pointed at Sam in emphasis who was also looking concerned at Tony and despite himself, Tony laughed at the statement about Sam. Well, choked out a laugh.

  
Sam seemed to also realise he'd just been insulted but was secretly grateful for Bucky's quick comment to distract Tony.

  
"You should've seen how happy Buck-face-a-hole was to get you out of that hell-hole." Sam hummed and folded his arms as Bucky scowled and the first signs of a smile actually started to appear on Tony's face, despite the obvious signs of despair.

  
"Who're you calling Buck-face-a-hole, a-hole?" Bucky said in disgust and Sam rolled his eyes.

  
"You just called me dick-face and you're surprised?"

  
"You know, mini-Stark, he nearly dropped me into the ocean on the flight back to the quinjet, and I know he did it on purpose." The explanation caught Tony off guard because Bucky looked directly at Tony to explain it. And it was strange because Tony had hated Bucky in that moment in Siberia but this was so comfortable and he couldn't work out why.

 _No_.

  
Tony got it. It was like being with Rhodey.

  
He'd suspected it when he first heard Bucky call him mini-Stark. Then, when he'd realised Bucky had been one of the guards to comfort him in the cell and take his phone for him. Also to rescue him in general. Hell, even the way he behaved on the quinjet was strangely kind. This man didn't seem like the one who'd been in that footage, in fact this wasn't even the Winter soldier anymore and it gave Tony hope. He'd never accept what happened easily with his mother but maybe one day...

  
He and Bucky could be friends, maybe? 

What was he even thinking now? Was there even a future for him here? Would he ever feel the same with the team, let alone James Barnes?

  
His parents death in general was something he'd always struggled to accept. He'd always thought back to it and blamed himself for not saying something to Howard and then he'd blamed Howard for his mothers death because he'd thought Howard had been drunk and they'd crashed because of it. That hadn't happened though and now he knew the truth. This man, sat right next to him was responsible.

  
_But he'd been brainwashed. You know that._

  
Of course he did but it was still hard to accept.

  
"This guy doesn't know what he's talking about. I didn't drop him at all, my flying is always perfect and he knows it." Sam smirked and Bucky's eyes grew to comical size.

  
"Exactly! I know you fly perfectly, so you were just shitting with me!" Bucky spluttered and even though Tony's first thought should've been to ignore them, he couldn't help but smile completely at their antics-all thoughts momentarily disappearing. All ideas aside, he did actually like Bucky of all people. It was strange.

  
"Listen Tony, T'Challa has a room ready for you, surrounded by our rooms if you want it. It's not gonna be like your tower or anything but should still be interesting enough." Sam smirked, completely changing the topic to focus on Tony again. "The wifi here is great."

  
Not sure what Sam was trying to achieve, Tony nodded and looked outside the glass wall again. Even though he hated the outdoors usually, he really wanted to explore that jungle. Maybe that implied something else-that he wanted to explore his options. Who knew what he wanted? He certainly didn't.

  
Maybe Bucky was telepathic because he seemed to notice and decided to add his thoughts.  
"That's the jungle of panthers apparently, though I've never seen a panther there so, you know we could check it out. Do you want to?"

  
Tony nodded, still smiling slightly from earlier. Maybe new options were a good thing?

 

* * *

   
As soon as Steve was outside the room with Clint he closed the door and faced the archer with a harsh gaze. This was reaching the limit now.

  
"Clint, what is it with you? You need to lay off Tony, he's our teammate and family and-Clint?" Steve paused.

Hawkeye was staring at the floor, his eyes gleaming under the overhead lights. When he looked up, Steve could see that he was on the verge of tears and it shocked him to the core. That made two avengers he'd seen nearly cry in the week.

  
"I know he's family. That's why it hurts, you know. He was supposed to stand by us and now that I've found out about Laura and Nat well-" Clint laughed bitterly and shook his head, leaning against the wall. "Shouldn't he have tried to at least keep _them_ out of it?"

  
Listening to this did make Steve wonder momentarily if he was being stupid in thinking Tony didn't know anything about them. But then he quickly dashed the thought since this was Tony and he _knew_ Tony wouldn't risk anyone else but himself. It would've been more likely that Tony was made to choose between himself and Laura and Nat and Ross used that to his own advantage.

  
"Clint. Tony's greatest weakness is that he cares about everyone but himself. Do you really think he'd risk Nat and Laura or _anyone_ for himself? This is Tony we're talking about! Hell, when we were leaving the Raft he offered to stay behind to buy us some time! That's how quick he is to throw himself at danger and you're saying he would side with Ross on this!?"

He could hear himself getting angrier by the second but Clint needed to get this straight. Otherwise they'd never be a family again. And Steve couldn't live with that, knowing he'd been the cause. He had to try.

  
"I know." Clint closed his eyes and sighed.

  
"You-wait, you know? Know what?" Steve asked, anger deflating, he was completely stunned at Clint's change in attitude.

  
"That Tony wouldn't do that. I _know_. He's like a brother to me and he's like the dad of the Avengers. You really think I'd expect him to hurt someone else on purpose? Especially the mom?" Clint explained calmly, gesturing at Steve with one hand which made the soldier go bright red. He was going to ignore that last comment for the time being.

  
_Focus Steve._

  
"So then why did you say all that? Why would you do that?" He couldn't understand it. Clint was usually one of the most calm in the group.

  
"I know I shouldn't but it's just..." Clint inhaled and exhaled slowly, taking a moment. "I'm angry at him. I'm just shocked that he sided with Ross. He should've seen that this couldn't end well. He's the futurist, or so he claims but he failed this time. He got it wrong." On saying those words, Clint stared directly at Steve. "And now that Nat and Laura are in danger I just can't bring myself to forgive him. And my kids, who knows what could happen." Clint whispered and ran his hands through his hair. Though what he'd said to Tony was wrong, Steve couldn't help but feel for Clint who had helped save Tony and was obviously concerned for his family. Could one begrudge a person for that? Steve certainly couldn't, considering he'd fought Tony for Bucky who was family to him.

  
"Clint, I don't know how to make any of this right. I don't even know where to start. But, I'm gonna try for our team. I know you're upset about your family but we will do everything to keep them safe."

Steve paused and bowed his head down to the floor, almost asking permission. He spoke quietly, trying to make Clint understand. "But Tony needs us too. We're all he has. Pepper's gone and Rhodey is learning to adjust and Vision's grieving over Wanda and Rhodey. Tony really needs us. If we toss him back out there, he'll be so unbelievably vulnerable that Ross will take advantage and hurt him at best. At worse, he'd kill him. Is that what you want?"

  
The words struck a nerve because the avenger flinched at the statement and whispered quietly. "I don't want Tony to be hurt."

  
"Then-"

  
Clint looked up sharply. "But I don't trust him. And I don't know if I ever will. Sometimes you have to let people go. And nothing you say is going to change my mind."

"Clint!"

  
Once said, Clint span around and walked down the corridor, leaving Steve to stand alone, feeling a sense of loss. It was his fault, he understood Clint completely, but Tony wasn't to blame. They all wanted what was best for each other but failed every time.

  
_We need to be united again._

  
"Captain? Are you alright?" The question, shook him out of his thoughts and he turned to see T'Challa's concerned expression.

  
"Yes, thank you. What did the doctor say then?"

  
"He seems fine, but tests will confirm completely. I wouldn't worry captain, he should be alright, the doctor did say we could move him to his own room."

  
Finally some good news which made it easier for Steve to hide his inner fear. "That's good. He can relax here for a while and we can start targeting Ross."

  
T'Challa nodded, his face passive and revealing nothing but pure grace. Just like a panther, Steve thought. "Indeed. It would be good for Mr. Stark to get some rest. He's been through quite an ordeal. Ah Captain, I believe the room between yours and Sam's is empty, is that correct?"

  
"Yes."

  
"Excellent. I shall take our guest there at once."

  
Steve blinked and suddenly it clicked. "Would Tony be comfortable next to me?"

  
"I believe it is the best place for him. I cannot think of a more comfortable place and if I'm not mistaken, you are the one who put time and effort into that room to ensure comfort." The prince smiled and opened the hospital room door for Steve.

As Steve walked through, he wondered briefly if T'Challa had planned this. It didn't matter anyway because he wasn't going to say no. He wanted Tony close by and he hoped Tony would like the room enough to agree.

  
The two leaders stepped through and saw Bucky and Sam bickering with Tony smiling in the middle. Steve was about to interrupt when Tony started to giggle.

He actually giggled.

  
Sam and Bucky noticed instantly and stopped talking. They all watched Tony who was just laughing to himself quietly and Steve could see from the corner of his eye, that T'Challa was smiling too. Tony's laugh was a wonderful thing to hear after so long. Without even saying anything, Tony was already having such a great effect on everyone.

  
Steve smiled to himself and shook his head as T'Challa spoke to their guest. "Tony, do you wish to go to your room? I would be most happy to-"

  
"I'll take you." Steve didn't hesitate when interrupting but T'Challa accepted the rudeness like it was a given. Which it was because Steve was desperate and would do anything to keep Tony smiling right now.

  
That wasn't necessarily going to be easy however. Tony's smile had been replaced by a slight look of uneasiness and he blinked up at Steve with wide, cautious eyes. "I...okay."

  
This wasn't the time to be discouraged, Steve knew that. So ignoring the look of unease on his genius' face, he walked up to him and reached for Tony's hand, wrapping his own around it completely and pulling it towards his chest. As if dazed again, Tony followed the action and stood up with a blank expression. Sometimes Steve wondered what was going on in Tony's mind whenever he looked like that, and he'd been looking like that more and more since he'd been rescued from Ross.

  
Gently, Steve pulled Tony towards the door and nodded to everyone else in the room before tugging Tony away and leading him through a matrix of dimly lit, blue corridors. The avenger remained silent throughout the trip, walking slightly behind him, their joined hands between their bodies and didn't say a word, even when they stopped outside a seemingly random room in a corridor. The lack of usual Tony-chatter started to bug Steve and so he turned to look at Tony who was staring back and forth between the Captain, the blue walls and the door to this new room.

  
Steve tightened his hold on Tony's hand and smiled slightly, drawing Tony's attention back to their hands. "This is your room. It's right in between mine and Sam's so if you need anything-" he pointed at the door on the right, "-just knock, yell, shout or call. I'll come straight to you so you don't need to worry. These rooms are fairly soundproof but not too much, for safety reasons obviously. But yeah, if you need anything, just shout and I'll come running." Steve said, encouragingly, trying to be as optimistic as possible.

He wanted to build up a sense of trust again despite his knowing it would be difficult. But he'd work at it until they made at least some recovery because he...he needed Tony to be okay. It was too important to him, in a different way from Bucky yes, but still just as important.  
As he stood there and looked at the one person he was thinking about in that moment, an urge to pull Tony into his arms overcame him and he let go of Tony's hand as if burnt. He couldn't force himself on Tony for his own selfish need to feel better, unless-

  
Wait...

  
The minute he let go of Tony's hand, Tony looked at the space where their hands had been and then looked down at the floor as if expecting to be pushed away or maybe be dealt a blow. As if a hand had come and pushed him down, he was huddled within himself slightly, his arms drawing up to hold himself.

_He's barely able to hold himself together and you just let him go! Look at him. Just Look!_

He really didn't seem to know what Steve wanted. But could Steve really just do it? Wouldn't he be ignoring Tony's boundaries that the genius had spent years maintaining? But then again, Tony had pretty much clung to him on the Raft and Steve would never forget that. The pure look of joy in Tony's eyes when he's first realised it was Steve was something else and he knew he'd do anything to see that again.

Decision made and mind steeled, Steve shook his head and shuffled a bit, clenching his hands. "Tony. Just-just...wait."

  
He stepped forward, opened his arms around Tony, and pulled him to his chest, one arm around Tony's waist, the other pressing into his hair. Steve held his breath, wondering if Tony would shove him away, or order him to stop being weird. Tony had completely frozen like a statue and Steve didn't move either, waiting for a reaction. But he exhaled when he felt Tony shift and then burrow into him-again!  
He'd done this twice now. That confirmed it, that he wanted, no, was silently begging for comfort.

  
Steve held on tighter and whispered into Tony's hair. "You're safe. It's okay, you're okay and nothing's going to happen to you. I'm going to keep you safe Tony."

  
Did Tony always want this? Was comfort something that could help them? Or was it Tony's exhaustion and fear talking? Steve wasn't sure but he knew this, whatever this was, felt great at least to him and hopefully Tony too.

  
"It's gonna be alright. You'll see." Steve murmured and felt Tony's clutch on his shirt tighten a fraction. They stood there, perhaps taking comfort in each other's warmth for a few minutes. After that, Steve shifted his grip but didn't let go.

  
"Do you want to have a look? At your room?"

  
"Sure." Came the muffled response but Tony didn't let go, even when Steve lowered his arms.

  
"Tony?"

  
The man jolted for a second before pushing Steve away and looking to the walls again. Ah. There was a spark of the Tony they all knew, still in there somewhere. One side of Steve felt hurt at the fact that he'd been pushed aside but the other was just relieved that there was something left of Tony's resistance.

  
"You don't need to show me the room. I can manage myself thanks."

  
Tony still wasn't looking at him, but Steve's hands still tingled from where he'd touched the genius so he wouldn't have been surprised if Tony felt the same. Actually he probably did, if that pink tinge on his face was anything to go by. A blushing scowl that was so absolutely ridiculous that it made Steve laugh and Tony's head whipped around to look at him sharply.

  
"What the hell is so funny?"

  
Steve hid his laugh behind a cough and ignored the comment by turning around and opening the door. He stepped through and held it open for Tony to walk in and get a full view. Once Tony stepped through, Steve closed the door and watched Tony's reaction very carefully from behind and he wasn't disappointed.

  
"Steve, what...how?" Tony gaped, forgetting his own rule to not call Steve, _Steve_ anymore. That alone put a grin on his face and he stepped forward to gesture at the space.

  
"Do you like it?" He smiled as he said it and watched Tony fight back his own smile. The wide eyes he was making to the room had confirmed that Steve had made the right call in deciding to decorate it a few weeks ago.

  
The room was a relatively large one, approximately the same size as the bedrooms that were in the Avengers tower. The four walls had been painted a sky blue with one large window directly above the large double bed, showing the same jungle the medical room had faced. To the left of the bed was a door that hinted at an en suite bathroom. Next to the door was a wardrobe, drawer and tall lamp which gave off a deep blue light. On the right hand side of the bed was a long desk with various items and thin glass shelves above it, covered with more items-each thing chosen by Steve himself. And all things related not to Howard, but things like the Avengers, SI and Tony's mother. Steve was pretty sure he'd placed an arc reactor somewhere on one of the shelves. But the most impressive thing, without a doubt was the huge painting of Ironman that was there, beside the desk. The picture had obviously been painted onto the wall and was meant to show Ironman flying through the sky. It worked with the colour scheme in that the walls were the sky and that was Ironman soaring through, or at least that was what Steve had been going for.

All in all, he'd decorated the room in what he'd hoped would be to Tony's taste. Just as he remembered Tony doing it for all of the Avengers time and time again.

  
And now it was the moment of truth. "So? What do you think?" Steve prompted, hoping for a positive response.

  
"I...this is just..." Tony's eyes were glued to the painting and it took a moment before Tony turned back to Steve.

  
"Did you make this?" Tony asked, pointing at the painting in question.

  
"Yes. I did."

  
"When?"

  
"A few weeks ago." Steve swore that Tony's eyes widened fractionally even though that really wasn't possible.

  
"And the stuff? Was all of that because-"

  
"I put it there, yes."

  
Tony inhaled and puffed out the air from his cheeks before closing his eyes and opening them again. Steve had been starting to wonder when he was going to blink.

  
"Why did you do this? You didn't-"

  
Steve crossed his arms and ignored Tony. "Do you like it?"

  
"Yes, of course but-"

  
"How much do you like it? Just a bit or what?"

  
"I freakin love it but why-"

  
"Great because I had been worried that-"

  
"Will you stop ignoring me and listen to me Steve!?"

  
Steve's eyes softened just a fraction and he looked at Tony carefully, fighting yet another smile. There was something about this whole situation that was really lifting his mood. "You called me Steve again."

  
Tony's mouth had been mid-open, ready to talk but he snapped it shut at Steve's comment and scowled. But there wasn't anger, only mild irritation, though this time Steve was the one irritating Tony. It was like a role reversal of their first meeting.

  
"It changes nothing, Rogers. You abandoned me. You left me. I got it the first time, believe me, message received." Crossing his own arms, Tony spun away, but was directly facing the painting and Steve just knew, the only reason Tony had spun away was to look at the painting again (and away from Steve).

  
Steve sighed and looked down, the fun coming to an abrupt halt. Tony was right and had every reason to not trust Steve. A personalised room changed nothing.

  
Perseverance on the other hand...

  
"You're right. I did. But I did it to protect you." He paused. Tony didn't move so Steve continued. "I'm not talking about the letter and phone. I'm talking about me not calling you straight after Siberia with the phone. I didn't call you because I worried that Ross would come after you if I tried to make contact. But he did anyway and I'm so sorry for that. I never wanted you to be hurt, you have to believe me, Tony."

  
During his confession, Tony had turned slightly but had done nothing else. In the blue light, Tony's skin looked translucent, almost ghost like. But he was here and that was the first step. Steve didn't want to pile all this on Tony now.

  
"Why did you send me that letter though? That-that letter that just didn't even sound sincere, let alone like you cared about me!"

  
Steve stepped forward again and swallowed. "I couldn't think of a better way to tell you I was sorry. And also because I wanted to give you that phone."

  
Without warning, Tony spun around fully and swayed for a moment, then straightened and pointed at him, looking incredibly pissed off but also...wounded.

  
"You're shitting me. You gave me a letter that was unbelievable and an ancient phone, the weight of a brick, and tell me you gave me those things to keep me safe? And that you didn't want to contact me!? Because guess what Rogers, a phone is used to _contact_ people!"

  
"That isn't just a phone, it's a tracker. How do you think I found you so fast?"

  
"You-a tracker?" The anger left Tony and was replaced by a general look of confusion, which Steve immediately latched onto.

  
"I told you in the letter, I'd be there if you needed me. That phone works really well for homing in and not only that, it tracks your daily route if its turned on and carried with you. Which is why I asked Natasha to talk to you and then-"

  
"You told me to keep the phone with me and call you back." Tony said, face lit with the realisation. Then he shook his head with disbelief. "I never thought you'd track me."

  
The statement steeled Steve's mind and he bristled slightly at a thought. "It was to make sure you were safe. But it only worked if you had it with you and it was turned on. And Tony, you have an annoying habit of not keeping that phone with you, which is surprising considering your love for tech-I was sure you'd get curious and start playing around with the phone. But you didn't. I'm glad Ross did make that call. You have no idea what I would've done if something had happened. To you."

  
Steve locked gaze with Tony again and watched the man drop his crossed hands and start to swing them slightly, instead. A nervous habit no doubt.

  
They both said nothing for a minute, collecting their thoughts before Tony shattered the silence with a hint of amused sarcasm. "Was that why the phone was so big and ugly? I thought you were just really old."

  
"Hey, I'll have you know I've adapted damn well. Don't give me that look, you thought I'd really choose a phone like that for Tony Stark!?"

  
Tilting his smile slightly upwards, Tony shook his head. "You never know cap. You're getting pretty old. They say that bad choices are a sign of senile behaviour-"

  
"You're gonna pay for that comment as soon as you wake up tomorrow, smart ass. Just you wait." Steve promised, fighting back his own laugh when he saw Tony's. It was strange, the way they were fluctuating between old times and the recent problem with the accords. Strange, but _nice_.

  
"Actually I thought the size was to stop me trying to track you." Tony said, brushing off the threat like a fly he was swatting.

  
"It was because tracking one person with one device using a private satellite has limitations. I thought you'd work that one out, Mr. Wise guy. And plus I thought you'd know I was in Wakanda."

  
"I did. But I didn't think you'd track me, that's all."

  
"Well I did. And now you know how. How else did you think I found you?" Steve furrowed his brow in question when he saw Tony blink a couple of times.

  
"I haven't really...had time to think about it. I was just surprised to even see you."

  
Curious, Steve stepped forward. "Did you know I'd come for you?"

  
Tony didn't say anything and that sent a weight sinking straight through Steve's stomach. Tony hadn't believed he'd be saved. He'd thought he was going to die.

  
"I was there the whole time. I wasn't going to let them hurt you Tony. I was there even when you were unconscious. In fact-" Steve twisted and reached under his shirt to find the familiar black vest and pulled it out for Tony to see. "I changed your clothes."

  
For a minute, they both stood there in silence and stared at the vest between them. Steve wasn't sure but he felt like he'd just said something bizarre because Tony wasn't blinking again.

  
"You're not joking." Tony said quietly, eyes glued to the piece of clothing like it had all the answers. "And wow, okay I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that with such a serious face but yeah, okay that's-" Tony quickly covered his face and groaned into his hands. "You can't just say things like that you know." He mumbled behind his fingers.

  
"But it's a fact." Steve said quietly and lowered the vest. "Bucky guarded the door while I changed your clothes. It wasn't exactly a fun thing with all the stress of Ross possibly walking in to find me wanting to stroke your hair while you were asleep."

  
This time Steve realised what he'd said as soon as he saw Tony peak at him from behind his fingertips, skin obviously quite pink. Verging more on red actually.

  
"You wanted to stroke my hair?"

  
"No, I'm just saying-"

  
"I swear, some of the things you say are just way too much. Soon enough people are gonna get confused with me and you. They might think things you won't like."

  
Steve shook his head lightly at that, ignoring the pointless comment. "Don't you think people are already confused. And also, if you're that embarrassed, I'm keeping your vest until you can relax about it. Anyway-" he pocketed the vest, much to Tony's displeasured whine and went to the wardrobe, opening it up and pulling out various things. When he turned to the engineer, he was holding a red cotton shirt and black pj bottoms. He lay them on the bed and pointed.

  
"You're night clothes. Unless you want me to change you again."

  
Tony honest-to-god squawked and marched up to the clothes, scrunching them in one hand and charging to the door by the wardrobe. He turned just before entering and glared at Steve.

  
"I haven't forgiven you by the way. And also, you can't just steal my vest you pervert. It's my favourite!"

  
Steve momentarily decided to ignore the first part (though really it was searing itself into his brain) in favour of pulling the vest back up and clutching it to his chest, smugly.

  
_Keep the positivity going Steve_.

  
Tony's glare intensified but he said nothing and stepped into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

  
Steve knew a hint when he saw it and so left to find some food.  
While he made his way to the cafeteria, he suddenly realised why he felt so much lighter. It was solely because he felt complete-because Tony was right here and in front of him and if Tony was there then they could do anything.  
He wasn't half as good at anything as he was when he was doing it with Tony and that was the truth.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'd say we're coming up to half way with this fic, maybe? I've got the ending down pat with quite a few twists AND A SHIT TON OF ANGST AND H/C along the way but yeah, this should be fun! Again, please do let me know what you think-is there anything you'd like to see because now is the time to say...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh boy oh boy has it been a long time. Everyone still around is entitled to throw as many potatoes at me as they have waited because I deserve to be potatoed :/  
> So just came out of exams...next chapter is here-I am back to writing this again, currently writing the next chapter-THIS IS NOT OVER PEOPLE, ITS NOT OVER!!!

 

"Hey Tony, I'm back. And I have food too!"

  
"Go away thief. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

  
"Tony you do realise I have the fingerprints to enter this room. I can just walk in."

  
There was a moment of almost pin-drop silence when Tony mumbled something along the lines of 'Captain Perv' and the door to Tony's room opened. Steve held out one of the two trays as a peace offering which was snatched quickly and taken to the bed.

The fuming genius sat down beside the tray and pulled it onto his lap, completely ignoring Steve who had followed him with his own dinner and was now watching him poke at the identical soup with a spoon. It seemed that Tony had also had quick shower in the last ten minutes, that time being how long Steve had taken to hunt down that soup. He hoped it was worth the effort.

  
Steve stood there and watched Tony, who was wearing just the red shirt and black pjs, and who's pale feet were swinging against the edge of the bed, for a grand total of two minutes before Tony finally snapped and spun towards him, droplets of water flying from the tips of his hair like a halo.

  
"What!? Goddamnit you're freaking me out."

  
Steve sighed and turned away. He'd been sprayed. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

  
"It's obviously not nothing if you're staring so much. You thinking about what it would be like to punch me?"

  
Steve flinched at the viscous tone, momentarily thrown by Tony's sudden change in attitude towards him. But then he supposed it was to be expected as Tony had been through a lot that wasn't fair. Maybe his shower had reminded him of all the issues that still lingered. He'd been hurt and Steve deserved this blame because the issues were still there. If he'd just listened, he would've been able to keep Tony and Bucky out of Ross' hands and hence, safe.

  
"I don't want to punch you. But I was thinking of how great it is to see you right in front of me after all this. I was worried we wouldn't see each other any time soon."

_Or at all._

  
Tony lowered the spoon and frowned before sighing and putting it down, and placing the tray back on the bed. He then buried his face in his hands and hunched forward, looking incredibly upset. It sent a jolt through Steve's heart when he heard Tony speak.

  
"I'm just so tired of everything. I don't know how I feel. A part of me is so so angry at you, you have no idea. But the other part..."

Tony dropped his hands and looked up at him, expression resigned. "Can't stop feeling really satisfied at all this. And I was sure I'd never feel something like this again after everything but it's like the minute you show up and say these things, I feel-ugh, I don't know how I feel!" Tony waved a hand and huffed in frustration but Steve understood it. He understood it perfectly because he felt the same, minus the anger.

  
"You're happy to see the team?" Steve tried. He sat down next to Tony and smiled a bit.

  
"I...yeah. I guess so." Tony was back to staring at the painting again and Steve gave himself an imaginary pat on the back for his art.

  
"And...me? Are you happy to see me?"

  
"...don't flatter yourself. Your still a class A dick." But the meaning behind it was clear and before Steve could stop himself, he was smiling widely. And he had no idea why that made him so happy.

No he knew, it was a start to mending things between them. Because Tony had missed him just as he'd missed Tony. They still liked each other to some extent.

  
"What are you smiling about? I'm still angry at you. I haven't forgiven you." Tony said, now facing the captain's stupidly broad smile with a glare.

  
"I know." Steve said around the smile but couldn't stop. This was what he'd been dying to hear from Tony, regardless of whether it was a backhanded compliment or an insult. Tony had every right to be angry, but Steve would now do his best to make Tony happy. And keep him safe.

  
"Then why are you doing that?"

  
"Honestly? Because I'm just glad you're glad. Even if it's not by much." Then the smile disappeared and Steve sighed. " I know I can't change what's happened and I really don't expect forgiveness. But I do want to try and make it up to you Tony, show you how sorry I am and start again. Will you let me?"

  
In the dim light, Steve watched the billionaires eyes flicker with sorrow. "How can I trust you now Steve? You...you hurt me, physically and mentally. And I still don't fully understand why. I was trying to be the hero you always seemed to be and yet all I got from this was losses. And Bucky could have been helped if you had just listened. And if you'd just told me about..."

  
Tony sat up from his slouch and looked back at the tray.

  
"I'm not cut out for this, that must be it. Iron man, being an Avenger, or any of it. Maybe I should resign. Go be with Bruce or-"

  
"No." Steve spoke sharply, his tone non-negotiating but Tony carried on as if he'd never spoken.

  
"I'm not strong, not careful, not good enough, I'm not right. An Avenger wouldn't have lost control like that. If anything, I'm a vill-"

  
"If you carry on this thought Tony, I'LL resign right now, I swear it. Now. _Stop. **It**_."

  
Steve was clear enough it seemed. Tony's mouth clamped shut and his self loathing look faded to one of wonder. No, Steve had seen that particular look before. It was the exact same expression as when Steve had ordered Tony to go with Sam first and stop talking about being left behind in the raft.

  
"Tony, why do you always look like that?" Steve allowed his voice to soften, half knowing why. He still frowned however, when Tony's face scrunched up at bit and looked at him.

  
"It's my face, Steve. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  
If they weren't discussing something so serious, Steve would have burst out in laughter.  
"Not your face. I meant every time I tell you to stop talking about something that I find really, really frustrating, you make a face."

  
Tony blinked. "A face."

  
"Yes. A face. One with wide eyes and an open mouth." Steve said seriously, as he taped Tony's chin lightheartedly and received a scowl for his efforts.

  
"I don't know what you're talking about."

  
"You do. It's surprise."

  
"I-" 

A knock on the door pierced through their semi-serious-something moment, sending both men three feet into the air. They hadn't been expecting company.

_Get it together soldier._

  
"Who is it?"

  
"Hey man, we got plans to make. You know, Rhodes and Vision and Laura and...Nat. Steve? You in there?"

  
Of course Sam was at the door, there was the team meeting that they needed to have to discuss another rescue. Frankly this should've started ages ago, but he'd been distracted. In Steve's defence, Tony was a good distraction. No wait, that came out wrong.

  
"One moment Sam." He said hoarsely, earning a raised eyebrow from Tony.

  
There was a brief pause before-

  
"Is Tony in there with you?"

  
Captain America very rarely got flustered. It didn't happen, it _**did not**_ , but here he was going bright red and he didn't know why. Sam hadn't implied anything at all, just asked a very simple question, probably to ask if Tony wanted to join or-

  
"Oh man, Cap that's shameful man, it's not even been a whole day and you've already taken Tony to be-"

  
Steve stood up quickly and strode towards the door, pausing to take a breath, before opening it a few inches.

  
"Yes Sam?" Steve glared at his stupid friend when he saw the shit-eating grin on his face. Sam was a conniving little shit who seemed innocent but really, _really_ wasn't. Too bad no one ever believed him when he said it.

  
Sam, the jerk, pointed behind him and smiled wider. "You're not in your room. Funny that."

  
"Whatever. What do you want?" Steve tried to glare some more but it didn't do a damn thing.

  
"Team meeting if you're not too busy. You bringing Tony? Make sure he's actually wearing clothes."

  
"Sam." There really wasn't a need to be so crude. Especially not about Tony. The feeling must have been conveyed sufficiently because Sam's eyes widened and he raised his hands.

  
"Hey man, I get it but I'm not the one taking advantage of Ironman here-"

  
"I can hear you." Tony said, and Steve sighed and opened the door wide to reveal a scowling Tony, eating soup on the bed, droplets of water still glistening in his hair.

  
Sam smirked at the odd site just as Steve thought he would. "Just keeping an eye on you. Wouldn't want anyone trying anything...unplanned now would we." With that, he stared at Steve and even Tony looked surprised.

  
"Wait, I thought you were joking. Cap, is he not joking?" Tony looked slightly confused and not a bit concerned but Steve just flushed red and turned to Tony, waving his hands like a jazz master.

  
"Yeah, he's just kidding. Don't worry about anything he says-in fact, I'd recommend not listening to him at all."

  
Sam gave him a dubious look. "Right..so the meeting? Yes or no Cap? And Tony, you want in?" That paused the embarrassment for a little bit as the two pondered.

  
Then Steve just sighed. "Yes, okay give us five minutes to finish dinner and we'll be there."

  
Without another word, Sam turned around and walked back, but not before smirking at Steve and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively in Tony's direction.

  
Steve returned the gesture with a not so nice, one finger salute before slamming the door.

 

* * *

 

  
The meeting was simple. Baring Clint, everyone was there but Steve didn't miss the somewhat distant look in Tony's eyes when he did a head count. There wasn't much to be done but then again, maybe it was better for Clint and Tony to have a break away from each other. The last thing they needed was another fight.

  
As for what happened, T'Challa relayed the situation and had informed everyone that he had sent his own personal escorts to find out where Rhodes and Vision were and similarly for Clint's family and Natasha. He planned to send word for them to come to Wakanda in secrecy for increased safety as clearly Ross was not to be trusted.

  
Tony had argued that this wouldn't happen fast enough and that he wanted to go personally, but obviously everyone argued against that as he was a wanted fugitive by this point and Ross would just have him arrested again and Steve was not about to allow that.

It was lucky Steve was so concerned because Tony had absolutely zero survival instincts, which surprised no one, and tried to argue for it anyway, claiming it was his fault they were in danger and he needed to rectify it. Thankfully, he didn't have a suit to pilot and T'Challa had guards on the quinjet. Which brought up the next issue.

Tony wanted his suit.

  
"I need it! How am I supposed to defend anyone without it, including myself!?" Tony yelled, both hands flat on the table.

  
"No, I will not allow you to go back to get it. You said it yourself, you can't defend yourself without it!" Steve yelled back, some distant part of his mind telling him they weren't supposed to be fighting. But Tony was acting as stubborn as a mule.

  
Tony's eyes narrowed darkly and he grinned sadistically. "But how am I supposed to feel safe if I don't have it?"

  
Steve deadpanned, completely unfazed. "So what? I just allow you to park up there and stroll into Stark tower, unarmed with Ross waiting for you? Do you think I'm stupid enough to allow that?"

Just because Tony was trying to guilt trip him didn't mean he would be stupid enough to let Tony walk right back into Ross's hands.

  
They were both standing up by this point, with the most of the team, sat down, and pointedly ignoring the argument as if they were stuck watching an awkward couples moment. Well, Sam seemed amused and Bucky was looking a bit stunned at the two but otherwise, everyone was looking away. Except T'Challa too apparently. He seemed to be very curious with the argument, particularly Tony's reactions.

Sometimes Steve wondered why he even bothered to have team meetings. Half of them didn't pay attention and the other half treated it like they were watching that weird comedy called 'Friends'.

  
"Look Rogers, I need the suit. I have to go back and get it." Tony's expression tightened, the dark edge disappearing and instead he seemed anguished over something.

It tugged at Steve's heart but he couldn't do anything. He really didn't want to be unfair but this really wasn't up for discussion.

  
He sighed and looked away. "I'm really sorry Tony, but I can't let you get the suit just yet. We will get it, I'm sure T'Challa wouldn't mind arranging something-"

  
"It needs to be me, it's my codes that'll get into the tower! Don't you understand!?" Tony exploded, frustration bleeding from his stance.

  
"Stark. He's trying to protect you." The prince cut through, and suddenly it was like the whole room was watching again. It wasn't just Steve and Tony anymore.

  
Tony stared at T'Challa for half a minute with wide eyes and palms flat against the table, face slightly flushed, whether from anger or fatigue, Steve wasn't too sure. One could almost argue that Tony was feverish, he was that red.

  
"I don't need protecting." Tony gritted out, looking down at the table. His entire posture said otherwise and Steve just wanted to take him away and hide him from all of the issues.

  
"You do. Ross is out there, and until he's out of the picture, you're a target he's after." Steve implored, trying to make Tony understand what he couldn't say.

  
"He knows that to get to Rogers he needs you. We already told you. Just stay put for a bit. We'll sort it out. I promise." Sam said exactly what Steve wanted to say and he couldn't be more grateful.

  
He was more grateful though, when finally, Tony huffed and sat down, crossing his arms and muttering a 'fine' under his breath. Steve had been prepared for a much worse fight. Then again, maybe the worst was yet to come.

  
"If that's all to be said on the matter, is the meeting adjourned?" T'Challa asked and nodded once everyone agreed quietly, apparently shaken out of their camouflage act.

  
"In that case, let us all depart for the evening. I shall see you all for breakfast tomorrow morning. Captain, Tony, if I may have a word?"  
The rest of the team filtered out, mumbling quietly between themselves. Tony and Steve stayed in their seats with T'Challa staring at both of them. He said nothing for a few minutes before finally Tony spoke, the silence setting him on edge.

  
"What is it?" He scowled.

  
T'Challa turned his gaze to Steve and completely ignored Tony for a minute.

  
"I think you should consider signing the accords."

  
Steve bristled and glared slightly. "Excuse me?"

  
T'Challa raised an eyebrow. "I thought I was quite clear but I shall repeat it. Sign the accords Captain."

  
Steve just stared for a good moment before stating his thought clearly. "You must be joking."

  
The King of Wakanda sighed and leaned back against his chair, folding his arms carefully, his expression completely neutral. It was impossible to read him.

  
"I promise you, I am not. I truly believe it is in your best interest to sign it."

  
Steve had really not expected this. He had thought things had changed from T'Challa's perspective, especially after Bucky being proved innocent and after he had accepted them in Wakanda

  
"I thought you had changed your mind about the accords."  
"I have not. Just because I open my home to you all does not mean I necessarily agree with you."

  
T'Challa obviously wanted this because he kept giving Steve this expectant look. Steve hadn't even dared to look at Tony who was sat on the other side of the prince.

  
He breathed out and looked away. "I need time to think about this. I don't agree with a lot of it."

  
He could almost feel the disappointment in the air. Heavy in its judgment, he knew this would be the biggest issue between him and Tony. Because it was the one thing he could still do that he chose not to. He couldn't agree with it.

  
A laugh broke the silence, making Steve look up sharply at the ringing sound. Tony had that blank look on his face again but he laughed hysterically. Between laughs he smiled, the vacant look back in his eyes.

"Of course you do! How could I ever expect you to-it's not like-it's not-shit!" Tony just buried his face into his palms and continued to shake, either from laughter or anger. Or sadness, Steve's subconscious added, along with an intense sense of guilt.

T'Challa however, ignored Tony and kept his gaze fixed on Steve, eyes calculating. "Very well Captain. I'm going to make this very clear. If you don't sign the accords, Tony will be the price you pay for it."

  
That stunned him. "What?" He breathed out and behind T'Challa even Tony looked up, face red and very confused.

"What?" He also whispered.

  
T'Challa still didn't acknowledge Tony. "If you refuse, Tony will not be able to leave Wakanda as it will be unsafe for him. He will have no argument as to what happened to facilitate his rescue, no one to stand by him against Ross, and no means of defending himself against Ross as it is quite likely he will be arrested again. If you were to sign, I would sanction it and plead your case to the UN and you would be able to escort Tony back. Together the Avengers would be able to expose Ross and Tony's ideas for the accords could be implemented. Ideas which, in my opinion-" he finally looked at Tony and said softly, "-are highly recommended."

  
There was a minute of silence as both co-leaders digested the information.  
Tony looked as unsure as he probably felt and he just switched between looking at T'Challa and Steve and swallowing.

"I..."

Finally he settled on Steve. He looked almost...anxious and Steve's gut churned.

"T'Challa's right. I-if I'm not supported I can't..." He broke off and looked down at his lap, face hidden from them both. "I'm screwed." He whispered, dead certain.

  
A death sentence. Tony thought he was going to be exposed to Ross. Between the three of them, they all knew Tony wouldn't stay here forever, couldn't even stay here for too long. It would paint a target on T'Challa's back and while the Prince would accept that, Tony wouldn't. He'd sooner leave than make it difficult for T'Challa and they all knew it.

That was partly why Tony wanted his suit back. That was why T'Challa had suggested this. He could see what was coming and now they could too. How had _he_ not seen this? 

  
Steve blinked and looked at Tony, mouth set in a straight line. The mechanic's frame looked small and thinner. He'd weighed too little when Steve had carried him out of his prison cell and he'd clutched at Steve when he'd realised he was being rescued. In his message he had begged for someone to get him out of this whole situation.

  
He'd thought he was going to die.

  
"Take some time to think it through Captain. There is no rush today. I am simply presenting what the situation could be in the future. Needless to say-" The Black panther looked at the genius. "-you will be safe here Tony. I can promise you that."

  
Tony nodded from where he was looking down but Steve could feel Tony's despair. He knew what Tony was thinking and he didn't like it one bit. But could he really give up control to a higher organisation? Would the Avengers still be able to go where they needed to go without being told to wait?

But if he didn't sign then Tony...

  
His blue eyes blazed with decision as Steve clenched his fists and nodded to himself. "Your highness, can I talk to you in private?"

  
"Of course. Tony, if you wouldn't mind?"  
Tony had already stood up before the Prince had even started speaking, his eyes dull and face empty as if resigned. He crossed the room to the door and paused, one hand on the handle, the other shaking by his side as he spoke softly.

  
"Thank you for saving me Steve. I really meant it when I said I was glad you did." And without another word he slipped out.

  
Steve took a deep breath, one he hadn't realised he'd been holding and spoke, his mind frozen on Tony's words.

  
"Can you please bring me a copy of the accords?"

 

* * *

 

  
Tony was shook. There was no other word for it. He knew his days were numbered but this was-

He'd wanted more time, more freedom, to be happy. He'd not even spoken to Pepper after their break up or had at least one real conversation with Rhodey and Vision since the accident. Hell, he'd not even finished that spiderling's new suit yet.

Those weren't options anymore.

  
Instead it was either live out his days, stuck in a glass cage in Wakanda, putting everyone else in danger, or leave and give himself over to Ross. T'Challa was right; as the futurist he could see it. And there was no way he'd put everyone else in danger for him.

  
Which meant one choice if you could even call it that.

  
Tony sunk his face into his pillow as he collapsed onto his bed. Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe-

  
No, there was no point in thinking too much about it. It was better he start planning how to leave as soon as possible. He'd need to make sure he updated his will before encountering Ross to make sure his Tech was safe with Pepper and Rhodey. His company and everything else would have to go to them and his tower would be for the avengers, official and unofficial.

  
He turned into his side and pulled a pillow close to his chest in thought. When should he leave? Tomorrow? Day after? Maybe in a weeks time?

  
He buried his face into the pillow and clutched it tighter. He was so selfish he didn't want to leave just yet. How unfair was he to the others? This was why he ended up in these situations.

  
There was no point crying about it, he thought, as he took a shaky breath and huffed into the pillow. He couldn't afford to be weak. He knew what had to be done and there was no room for doubts.

  
After who knows how long, he switched the warm blue light off and buried under the bed covers keeping the pillow close. After planning what he would do, he fell asleep, facing the iron man painting Steve had made for him, committing it to memory. At least he felt warm.  
  


* * *

 

 

"It's good of you to join us Mr. Stark. I was concerned you would be gone for good."

  
Tony blinked open his eyes and squinted. The light in the room was too bright.

"I'm still here. And I don't care what you dish out. I'm not telling you anything."

  
Ross laughed and stepped forward. "You will. Because in the end they left you. And so you'll have no choice."

  
Ross leaned down and whispered in his ear softly, "It's just you and me now Tony."

  
Tony shivered in his place. He was flat on an operating table, with one light above him and his limbs strapped down by tight leather. It didn't matter what they'd try. He wasn't going to give in.

  
Why was the room so hot?

  
"I won't tell you where he is Ross." Tony tried, as he shifted, looking for an opening in the bonds.

  
"I know you won't. Not without some persuasion." In the corner of his eye, Tony could see the shadow of a syringe. It was handed to Ross and without warning, he yanked Tony's head back and drove the needle into the base of his neck. Tony screamed as loud as he possibly could as the liquid was injected. He didn't want this, he didn't-

  
"Tell me where Rogers is!"

  
"No!"

  
"Tell me Stark!"

  
"NO!"

  
Ross yanked his head back further and soon his head was pulled back so far he could see upside down guards holding instruments he'd not seen before. One guard stepped forward carrying pliers of some kind, and Tony reacted unthinkingly by tossing his head and trying to dislodge Ross' grip.

_Tony it's okay!_

He thought he heard something in the distance. But it wasn't okay, he was _**not**_ okay!

He had an idea what the pliers were going to be used for.

  
His body ached, his mind was all over the place and his vision blurry. He didn't want this, he didn't-

  
"Do it." Ross commanded and a guard pulled his mouth open and the one holding the pliers forced it into his mouth.

_Tony!_

Tears streamed down his face as he felt the pliers grip around his teeth. He felt hot, he was boiling, he felt numb everywhere and he was gonna be sick-

  
"TONY! Wake up, it's okay!"

  
Tony's eyes blinked open and he tried to clear the blurry vision from his eyes. Above him, in the dark was a tall blond figure. Steve, who was shaking him gently by his shoulders. Or was he the one shaking?

  
Not sure what was happening, he blinked and felt more tears run down his face. He hiccuped, nausea building and a phantom spike of pain from the injection site.  
A hand pressed against his forehead and he closed his eyes tight, turning his head to the side.

  
"Shit, he's burning! Ill get some water and call T'Challa to get the doctor in here." Sam. That was Sam's voice.

  
"Tony, hey. It's okay, you're fine, you're safe." Steve tried to sooth, but Tony shook his head because Steve didn't know, he wasn't safe, he wasn't okay and-

  
"Steve. Ste-" He croaked and before he could carry on speaking he coughed once and then vomited what little soup he'd eaten and winced against the acidic taste.

  
"Shit. Easy, easy." He felt a solid grip around his shoulders and he was pulled to sit up and carry on throwing up. But he could barely hold himself up, he felt so weak and how could he feel dizzy if his eyes were closed? Nothing made sense.

  
"Tony? Are you with me?" Steve said, far in the distance and he thought he might faint. His ears buzzed loudly and he vaguely heard his name and other voices and he felt someone slip their arms under his knees and lift him up swiftly.

  
He blacked out for a moment, it must not have been too long because when sounds came back to him, he heard a door open and more footsteps. Then someone was dousing him with water. Water?

  
"-at happened?"

  
"I heard him screaming, then I managed to wake him up but he threw up and passed out. I'm trying to bring his fever down, T'Challa, he's really hot. Look at him-he could barely hold his head up a minute ago! He's not well, I don't know what happened, what do I-"

  
"Calm down Captain. Just focus on cooling him down. The doctor is on her way."

  
"I brought some clothes, are you in the shower?" Tony heard Sam's voice penetrate the walls, as someone peeled off his shirt and pjs, leaving him soaking in his boxers. He must have been in his ensuite then. Steve must have carried him and was now holding him close while spraying him with the shower head, while someone else had just stripped him. That made sense.

  
"Try waking him again."

  
"Tony, can you hear me? Tony, please, you're scaring us."

  
Slowly, he forced open his eyes a bit to find Steve, T'Challa and Sam staring down at him. He was held against Steve's chest with one arm and was being washed by the nozzle in Steve's other hand. T'Challa was kneeling beside him, holding his filthy nightwear and Sam was stood above, watching. They all looked terrified.

  
Tony coughed and shook. "'m sorry." He whispered, mind and body exhausted.

Instantly they all jumped into action, Sam grabbing the nozzle and placing his hand on Tony's forehead while Steve reassured Tony it was fine. Sam looked up at Steve, nodded and handed him a huge white towel. Sitting Tony up gently, Steve wrapped the towel around him and started drying him carefully from behind, hands warm and comforting over the fabric. Tony didn't know you could get Tony-sized towels.

  
"Tony, can you look at me please?" That was the doctors voice. Oh, he should tell her what happened. Maybe she could help.

  
"I threw up. I'm really sorry." He murmured sadly, eyes itching as she took his chin in one hand and tilted his head up to inspect him adequately.

Seemingly satisfied, she smiled.  
"That's quite alright. The captain here took care of it." She looked at Steve, expression suddenly much more strained. "If you could bring him to the bed that would be appreciated."

  
"Ill take him to mine, it's just next door."

  
The doctor looked quickly at Tony's bed before nodding and Steve picked him up, towel and all, and carried him out of the bedroom completely.

  
"What's-"

  
"I'm just taking you to my bed. It's okay, yours just needs to be cleaned."

  
"I threw up..."

  
"Yes but that's not an issue."

  
"What's wrong with me?" Tony breathed out and tilted his head back. Nothing was right.

  
"You're gonna be fine Tony, I promise."

  
"I don't feel fine. I feel strange." Steve set him carefully down on a bed in a foreign room and gently rubbed the towel over him, drying him quickly. Behind him, Sam and T'Challa filtered through. The doctor knelt beside him on the bed and pulled out her stethoscope. He tried to keep as still as he could while she listened to his heart but tremors ran up and down his frame.

  
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He choked out again. He didn't mean to be a problem.

  
"Tony, no this isn't your fault. Just relax." Steve said softly and Tony thought Steve's hand brushed through his wet hair.

  
"His heart rate is quite high. Possibly an anxiety attack. Did anything happen?"

  
"I think he-Tony did you have a nightmare?" Steve asked quietly, gaze fixed patiently on him. Tony blinked at him blearily and then shivered.

  
"Yes...I...yes."

  
"I see." Above him the doctor shifted and he vaguely felt her put a cuff around his arm. Blood pressure. Then some weird thermometer that she held against his forehead. And she had Steve give him some water, that he could barely drink without coughing. It was all so surreal but through it all he had only one steady, constant thought.

  
"Please..." He whispered in the dark, just after the doctor had given him some medication to bring his fever down and had turned away to discuss something with T'Challa. On his left, Steve knelt on the bed and brushed his hair aside.

  
"Please what Tony? What is it?"

  
Tony shook his head to try and shake the thought. He didn't want to put this on Steve but he was so exhausted. He didn't-

  
"Tony, tell me. It's okay."

  
Steve was kind. A much better hero than he could ever be. But he wanted someone to save him. He didn't want to be a hero like Steve right now.

  
"Please don't leave me." Tony said, and reached out with his left hand to Steve, who grabbed it without hesitation.

  
"I won't. I won't ever, I promise." He whispered, and Tony thought Steve's voice shook. Was he upset?

  
"His fever isn't too high right now, I think that shower helped a lot. But he's obviously nauseas and has had a panic attack. It could be a combination of illness, stress and fatigue at the wrong time but I'll make sure to check the results of his blood tests carefully when they're ready. He is in a new climate as well. Let's see how he is in the morning."

  
"Could...do you think it's the serum Ross gave him?" Steve asked the doctor tentatively.

  
"I doubt it. But the results will tell us for sure. I wouldn't worry, just..." she gazed down at their patient.

  
"I think he needs support. Something's obviously scared him. I don't think I've ever seen someone panic so much from a nightmare before."

  
Tony had long shut eyes but let the words drift over him. He was so tired.

  
"I'll stay up. Keep an eye on him. I don't think I'll be able to sleep anyway. If I need help I'll let you know."

  
Tony opened his eyes slightly as Steve sighed, rubbing at his own eyes before turning to the other two avengers in the room and mumbling quietly.

Without a word, Sam placed the new pile of clothes he had on the bed and walked to the door, the prince and doctor behind him.

  
At the entrance to the room, he turned. "If you need anything, let me know. I'm just next door, and IF-" Sam gestured to the ill Avenger on the bed, "-he gets any worse, call us. Okay?"

  
Steve nodded wordlessly as T'Challa turned to Dr. Shira. "Will the medication help?"

Dr. Shira crossed her arms and sighed. "It should. I'll be back to check on him in the morning but he should be better. Do not be too alarmed, he is merely fatigued. I would, however suggest he try eating something in the morning. It is important he keeps hydrated, especially after he's lost what little he has eaten recently. And he's pretty thin as it is."

"I'll make sure he drinks some more water then and eats." Steve agreed as he looked down at the sleepy genius, Tony slowly blinking up at him. What just happened could not have been a coincidence, surely? The doctor was really relaxed-he felt a bit better now, true, but he was still hot and achy-

  
"I'll see you in the morning, Captain. Mr. Stark." Dr. Shira said and left promptly, Sam and the prince following closely and shutting the door behind them with a soft click.

In the inky darkness of the room, Tony could once again make out the spike of Steve's hair, and he heard the captain let out a slow breath. Patiently he waited for Captain America to say something but for a while it was silent, until;

  
"Go to sleep Tony. You need to rest."

  
Tony blinked a few more times and swallowed with huge difficulty. His body was so sweaty despite the shower. Ugh.

"I don't think I can."

  
Despite it being so dark, Tony could still make out the trembling of Steve's hands which were clenching and releasing over and over in his lap. "Come on Tony. You need to try. We'll talk about this in the morning but for now, just sleep okay?"

  
Steve didn't understand and Tony wanted to explain, no really, he did! It was just an issue of how you would tell the man you have huge problems with, that your life was in his hands and that _that_ scared you more than you realised. So much that you may have fallen ill because of it.

  
He was Iron man. He wasn't weak. He couldn't afford to be. This little sickness wouldn't bring him down.

Taking a deep breath, Tony shifted and pushed himself up against the pillows he'd just realised were resting against the headboard. His paranoid babysitter instantly reached to steady him around his shoulders when he swayed.

  
"Tony please. You're running a high temperature and I know the doctor said you would be fine but you didn't see yourself. You just fell into my arms and I couldn't wake you up. And..."

  
The genius sucked in a breath, his nanoseconds of strength gone, when the captain reached out with a hand and brushed his thumb on his cheek, just under his eye.

  
"You were crying. You never cry."

  
Tony shivered as Steve swept his thumb gently and cupped Tony's face completely with both hands, sending Tony's pounding heart through the roof. His eyes dropped to half mast and he noticed Steve's eyes glistening in the moonlight luminating the room a small amount, through the big window.

  
"What's wrong Tony? Why were you crying? Is it because-" The sliver of reflected light in his eyes grew and Steve just stared at Tony for a moment. He dropped both hands from his cheeks in an instant and stood up quickly.

  
Tony didn't want to admit that he'd liked Steve's hands, but they were huge and warm and so so comforting. Maybe Steve wouldn't mind doing that again?

  
"Tony, look." Out of no where, a piece of paper filled his vision and Steve fiddled with something behind the bed, causing the darkness to disappear and a small amount of blue light to cover the bed-a built in night light. The A4 piece of paper fell into his lap and crinkled when he closed his hands around the sides.

  
On it read, The Sokovian Accords and a long line starting with, 'I hearby...' and ending with a long elegant signature that didn't match the font of the rest of the page.

  
_Steven Grant Rogers_.

  
Tony stared and stared and stared. It couldn't be what he thought. There was no way on earth that Steve would-

  
"Steve. What is this?" He whispered, voice shot to hell. Like a prince of the night, Steve sat beside him and released a majestic sigh unlike any other, it was so exhausted.

  
"You know exactly what it is. But just to be clear, I signed the accords. I don't agree with a lot of things, but T'Challa tells me you have a lot of changes you want to make. I've reviewed them and I want to see the changes happen."

  
In between Steve making himself clear, Tony's eyes had started to water.

  
"Why did you sign this?"

  
Steve's gaze was unwavering. "You know why."

  
"Was this because of pity?" There were no tears on his face yet, but depending on the answer, there probably would be. Happy or sad was anyone's guess.

  
Steve shook his head firmly and hardened his gaze. "This is because you're safety is hugely compromised if I don't sign this. If I have to put aside my own ideals then the choice is obvious."

  
His voice was hard, hands clenching even more. There was an underlying tone of anger in his posture. It struck Tony then, that he wasn't pleased with his decision.

"You don't really want to sign this." Tony remarked, his voice cracking but he was still staving off the damn tears.

  
There was a moment of silence and Tony looked up at Steve, patiently waiting. For Steve to confirm the truth, for Steve to pretend he wanted this, or maybe for Steve to all out just agree and change his mind.

  
Steve looked at him silently, eyes roaming over Tony in that critical, assessing way.

  
"I still don't know if the accords are a good idea. But I do know that you'll try everything for changes to happen to them and I also know that I'd be giving you up if I stuck to ideals. I did it once and you got hurt. I won't let it happen again Tony, not to you or anyone."

  
Oh. It wasn't about him. It was Steve being Steve. It wasn't pity, or trust, or specific concern, or an apology. It was knowing what Tony could do, knowing an asset when you see it. It was just Steve seeing Tony's worth. Wasn't that great?

  
"Oh." Tony said and looked down at the sheet again. This time, drops fell on the sheet and Tony tried to stop them but he couldn't do a damn thing. Tears trailed down his face and fell in a steady line, but he made no noise whatsoever. He took a shaky breath and put the paper on the desk beside the bed, so he could stop leaking all over them. When he looked back up at the super solider, Steve was looking horrified.

  
"Tony, no." He breathed. "What's wrong?"

  
"I-I'll do my best for you Steve. I promise I won't let you-down." His voice cracked and in the end he just broke down, quiet sobs escaping from his throat as he buried his head in his hands. He knew he probably looked pathetic, striped down and weak as he was right now, it probably looked stupid, but he was so tired, he'd been scared but now he could be okay but it wasn't for him, he couldn't be so greedy as to expect anyone would want to do something just to save him, like anyone would actually _care_  about him-

  
Broad arms surrounded him completely and before he knew it, he was enveloped in the warm heat of Steve's body. It was wonderful, if only he could stop his stupid crying to just enjoy the moment.

  
"Shhh. Hey you're okay. You've never let me down Tony, it's not about that. I-I thought you'd be happy. I signed this for you Tony, wasn't this what you were worried about? I didn't do this out of pity but just because you're more important than a set of rules. The minute you left the room, I read them and signed."

  
Tonys breath stuttered. He couldn't believe it. It wasn't true. "Did y-you really do this for me? You would do this for anyone."

  
He wrapped his arms around Steve's neck and hugged tightly, pressing his face into Steve's neck and shoulder. He could feel Steve's soft breath against his hair and waited. He didn't want to be alone and Steve was so warm and this was so nice. When was the last time anyone had hugged him, even touched him with some sort of affection?

  
Above him, Steve's voice reverberated down his spine. "I would think of doing this for someone I cared about. But with you, I didn't even hesitate. For most, I would." There was a quiet thoughtfulness to Steve's words, like he'd just realised something, like his plane of reality had shifted or he'd seen something bizarre. Whatever it was, Steve's arms tightened minutely before relaxing.

They stayed this way for a few minutes and Tony stopped crying, heart aching but with a calmer feeling. He felt...better, more refreshed. Lighter? Maybe he'd needed this more than he'd realised.

  
"You need to rest Tony. You're not well, come on, we can talk more in the morning but for now, I don't think I'll be able to relax till you sleep a bit."  
That medicine must have been really working, he'd almost forgotten about his fever.

Tony for some reason suddenly became aware of his missing clothes- new, neatly folded clothes still on the bed-how had he not noticed till now? He still had his boxers on but his bare chest was pressed up tight against Steve's skin tight shirt. He could feel Steve's abdominal muscles shift against his own, making his breath hitch.

  
Steve maybe noticed too because his muscles shifted in response and Steve gasped sharply.

  
"Tony..." Steve sighed and pressed a strong kiss into his hair firmly, almost as if to solidify whatever it was that had just happened. Tony would be lying if he said, he wasn't shocked and he didn't want more. Something else, that he himself wasn't sure of.

Steve lay Tony down gently on the bed and was pulled down by Tony's arms too, leaning over him completely but not lying on top of him. In the dim blue light, Tony could make out Steve's concerned eyes, eyes that were looking at him like he was a precious metal or maybe for Steve, an artistic painting he had to preserve. 

  
There was a thin space between them and their breath was shared. Tony's arms were still looped around Steve's neck but he loosened them. He didn't quite know what had just happened, but something had changed. The atmosphere and feeling in the room was different now. If he didn't know any better he'd say....

  
Steve...wanted...him.

  
"Tony...." It wasn't lust in Steve's eyes like Tony was used to seeing. This wasn't anything he'd ever seen actually. Slowly, Steve leaned forward, closer and closer, as if drawn to Tony and brushed his lips over Tony's forehead, pressing gently, possessively.

  
Tony sucked in a breath and a tremor wracked through him.

  
_Oh god._

  
_What was_ _happening_?

  
Steve must have realised what he'd done because the minute he did it, he stiffened and pulled back, sitting up straight and straddling Tony's waist. Tony's arms fell to the sides, eagle spread and he waited tensely for Steve's reaction. Was he repulsed or angry? Was he just lost in the moment and curious? Was he thinking of someone else and Tony had just been in the right place at the right time?

  
More importantly, was he just as shocked as Tony that only a small kiss was enough to send his body into spirals? Did he feel the same!?

  
Steve stared down at Tony, breathing heavily. He looked frazzled and red, which honestly, was something Tony wanted to always see now.

  
He raked a hand through his sweaty hair and turned his gaze away. "Sorry Tony. That was..." he blew out a huff and sucked in an unsteady breath like a man who'd never tasted oxygen before. Unknown territory. "That was..."

  
Awful? Stupid? Careless? Your fault? A _mistake_?

  
"My fault. I'm so sorry."

  
Ah. Steve was apologising for his crying earlier. Well that was okay, that wasn't Steve's fault at all.

  
"It wasn't your fault. I'm the one who couldn't help myself."

  
Something changed in the super soldier and Steve lifted his head up sharply and stared at him in the darkness. His eyes were wide with shock.

  
"Tony, do you really mean that?"

  
"Yeah. If I hadn't been so upset earlier you wouldn't have had to sign the accords. I'm sorry." Tony shut his eyes to the disappointed look. The look of puppies dying or a war being lost or a lost love. Probably the last one actually, just looking at Steve. The soldier had just completely deflated.

  
"Oh. No that wasn't your fault Tony. It's alright." Steve's sorrow disappeared in seconds and he shook himself back to reality.

  
"Sleep. Come on, you need to."

  
Again with the sleeping issue. Tony was simply resigned to it now. He couldn't hide the issue anymore. "I'll have nightmares if I do. I don't know if I can actually sleep."

  
"Do you want me to stay with you?"

  
Tony blushed up at Steve who was still straddling him and looked away. "I don't want to cause any trouble. Go to sleep Steve. I'll be fine."

  
The soldier pondered on that for a second before rolling off and lying next to the genius and facing him.

  
Steve smiled softly at him. "No trouble at all. We can both share and sleep. Just like in the barn all those months ago."

  
"Clints farm?" He'd never forgotten that night. Steve had been pressed up behind him, the whole night because the bed had been too small. It had been the best night of sleep Tony had ever had until Steve jumped out at one point and disappeared to have a shower at three in the morning, mumbling something about a cold shower and stupid serums being too much. Steve had then avoided him at breakfast which had been upsetting.

  
"Yep." Steve emphasised the 'p' and blushed deeply for some reason. This whole night had been a discovery of Steve's blush, Tony thought happily.

  
Steve sat up and tossed the forgotten towel off the bed and pulled the thin sheet at the base of the bed over the both of them and the placed his palm over Tony's forehead carefully.

Where he'd kissed him, Tony thought.

  
"You're fevers' come down a bit. I think you're getting better. God knows how since you haven't had any sleep yet, or food. Here." Steve handed him some water and then switched off the bed light as he drank.

Once sorted, both Avengers lay down and faced each other in the dark. If Tony could guess, he'd say Steve didn't want to take his eyes off him.  
Tony closed his eyes and wondered if Steve was also thinking about the sudden shift in dynamic between them.

And that kiss that could have easily claimed his lips instead.

Easily.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So was that too fast? I don't think Tony knows what's going on tbh-he has a lot on his mind :(  
> There's plenty of stuff coming up-working on the next chapter now-again I'm so sorry it's been so long-I haven't given up-this will get finished!!!
> 
> COMMENTS ARE LIFE PEOPLE-I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS OKAY-I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA IF PEOPLE WILL ENJOY THIS
> 
> Please let me know how this chapter felt-good, bad-really out of character? Need to know so I can tweak the next chapter... :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onwards...finally start to get into the heart of the problems here, panthers are involved and decisions are made...

Sleep found Tony much more easily than he expected. Maybe because Steve keeping watch actually made him feel safer despite everything. Or maybe because of his sudden onset of sickness after years of never really falling ill. Whatever the reason, Tony was shocked to open his eyes to a random, quite frankly depressing room that was empty of people and things. Steve's unofficial hotel room, without the extra soap but all the space.

Tony scrunched his eyes shut, then opened them fully, realising he was indeed in Steve's room and that last night had happened and Steve had kissed him...ish.

It wasn't a full kiss. Just more of a gesture you would do if a family member or loved one was ill or hurt or something. Not a huge romantic gesture. It hadn't felt like that. Not intimate or anything. Obviously.

Inhaling deeply and ending that stream of thoughts, the genius sat up slowly and looked around more carefully.

A glance at the window told him it was late afternoon and the sun was high, bright and shining. He didn't share the sentiment but it was a nice touch that Wakanda was always sunny.

The layout of the room was identical to his own but this room had no personal touch except for Steve's blue shirt hanging on the back of the door (the one from that party after getting Loki's sceptre-a distant memory in Tony's mind) and one small piece of paper on the desk. The genius leant over and picked it up gingerly.

_Tony,_

_Dr. Shira came by earlier and assessed your health. She said everything's fine and that the blood tests came back clear and that you just need to eat more and take it easy while you recover. No surprise there._  
I've gone to talk to T'Challa about the accords but I'll be back soon.  
Maybe if you're feeling up to it, we can have some lunch together?

_See you soon,  
SR :)_

Another letter. And a smiley face.

Lucky him.

Tony sighed and kicked the sheet off the bed. He stretched his limbs and stood up, realising belatedly that he was still mostly naked expect for his bright red silk boxers, which meant one thing; he needed clothes if he wanted to walk out of the door and actually see the world of panthers and leaves the size of Ant-man in giant mode.

He wandered around, circling the room to look for something to wear, homing in on the lonely wardrobe. He pulled out a white vest, one from Steve's skin tight boys-gone-wild collection no doubt, and blue jeans that looked too long in length, but would do the job with the belt he'd found.

He trotted over to the bathroom and placed his special bundle aside to look into the mirror. It was weird how okay he felt now when he could barely remember seeing or hearing a thing last night. He'd been completely out of it and yet he was okay now? It seemed almost too good to be true. Then again, didn't he deserve a break?

_Maybe you don't. You did try to kill Barnes._

Tony had tried to push the issue of accords to the back of his mind, as far as it could go while he was being rescued from the Raft. He'd been kidnapped, drugged and sick in half a week and had been alone for a month to sit and think about what he wanted before all that. Even now though, he had no idea what to do next.

Was he angry with Steve? Yes definitely. Did he even like Steve? Well...

That was the real crux of the matter. He hadn't so much forgiven as he had tried to forget. He knew he wanted to move on because the last few months had been horrific and so empty, he genuinely couldn't think of a time he'd been remotely happy since Siberia except for when Steve and the others had come to the Raft.

"Ugh, I'm such a wreck." He criticised adamantly at his reflection. Glazed eyes, a face of scruff, longish hair with semi-wild curls ending at the nape of his neck and a prominent jaw line stared back at him and overall, his physique looked weaker than before. Not to mention he was mostly pale with high spots of pink on his cheeks, evidence of the fever still lingering from last night.

He rinsed his face, brushed his teeth and neatened his goatee. Then he put the clothes on and walked back out, liking the free feeling of the vest. He couldn't find a comb, so he ran his fingers through his hair and did the best he could. His curls were all over the place and he couldn't find any gel so it would have to do.

He hoped no one would stop him and send him to bed the minute he stepped out of the room. Preferably he'd like it if he saw no one on his way out.

That said, he didn't exactly know what he could do or where he could go. He was totally lost and it wasn't like all of these people would trust him or want to help him. In fact...

His mind led him to Clint. One person he'd thought of as family, who genuinely despised him now.

He wasn't going to lie, it hurt. That comment that Clint had made on the Raft about Rhodey's accident stung more than anything and it didn't help when Clint called him a traitor to his face. And that he'd said no one wanted him here.

Was that true? Weeks ago, he would have agreed hands down. Heck, before even last night he would've agreed. But Sam, Bucky, Scott and T'Challa's behaviour seemed to show they cared. And Steve...

He cared. He was at least trying to pretend that he cared.

Even despite everything that had happened, that was simple enough to see. He could just be making up for the past too, but that semi-kiss moment seemed too different. Steve's goals were very unclear but hopefully Tony would work that one out later.

Taking a breath that felt more like a chore, he wandered out of the bathroom, and finally the bedroom. The corridor was well lit now, but still just as empty as last night. Tony vaguely remembered Steve saying something about Sam being near, so in a spur of the moment decision, Tony turned to the door on the left and knocked quickly. There was a loud beep and the door slid open, revealing a slightly disgruntled Sam. But as soon as he saw Tony, he breathed out and smiled warmly.

"Tony. It's good to see you on your feet. How're you feeling?" Sam said as he crossed his arms and leaned against the door.

"I'm fine. Um I don't know what I should be doing right n-hey!" Sam didn't let Tony dodge his hand and Tony scowled for a second but then sighed and let his eyes drift shut as the coldness of Sam's hand set in on his forehead. That felt really good.

"Damnit Tones, you're still warm. You need to lie down. We should give you a chance to recover properly instead of letting something like last night happen again." When Tony opened his eyes, Sam was looking worried. Okay so maybe he wasn't totally recovered yet, but he was well enough that he could be out of bed. Steve had said so in that note. Well, sort off indicated, but it was the same idea.

"I'm fine, I just crashed last night. Wasn't a good sleep for me." Tony replied with a laugh and shrugged.

Sam eyed him carefully at that and let his hand drop to rub at his chin thoughtfully. "You know, Rhodes always did say that you'd look for trouble even if you had just had a concussion. And a load of other things too."

The statement did ring a bell. "Have you spoken to Rhodey? Or Vision?" Tony asked, hands clenching by his sides and sweat starting to appear all over him. Rhodey...

The Falcon looked apologetic, maybe from seeing his broken expression. "Sorry metal man. But I heard Cat-man is planning an escort for them to be brought here. With luck, it'll happen this evening. And I'll be part of the crew going. Wanda and Scott are coming too but we thought it'd be best to keep Bucky here. He did want to go but we gave him a different job. Thought it might be better that way."

Breath returned to his lungs for a moment. He didn't know what he'd do if something happened to Rhodey, especially after the accident and he knew Sam would feel the same. This was one thing they both understood. Sam would do his level best to keep them safe. And Bucky was being really...kind. Tony appreciated it.

"Thankyou." He whispered, ignoring the sweat starting to pool down his lower back. It didn't help Laura or Nat but it was a start.

Sam raised his hands up and grinned. "Hey it's not just me. And listen, I would do it for any Avenger." Sam's smile vanished for a minute and he looked Tony in the eyes. "Including Iron Man. So don't worry."  
  
Tony couldn't help but feel his shoulders loosen slightly, they'd been so tense. He didn't know why the words made him feel a bit more relaxed, but he'd take it over the grief of the Clint situation any day. He had to admit that there was something about Sam that made him instantly likeable. He seemed like a great friend to rely on, or at least you would think it, if you hadn't been abandoned in Siberia.

Tony blinked. Did Sam even know about his parents?

"Earth to Iron, hey what's with you? Do you need to lie down?" Sam's voice resonated through the corridor as he waved his hands in front of Tony's face, Again, like a jazz master. Sam and Steve needed to start a band together. Maybe they'd even let him play the piano.

Tony shook his head and looked at the wall behind Sam. "I'm fine. I, ah there's something I wanted to ask? If it's okay?"

Tony dragged his gaze back to Sam, who's brow had begun to frown a bit. Tony locked his hands together in front of him and braced himself. He couldn't avoid this for much longer anyway so it was bound to come out.

Sam's frown grew. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." He cleared his throat and steeled himself.

"I was just wondering, uh, do you-did you know about my, um, my..."

"Yes?"

_Say it. Ask him if he knew, ask him if he cared._

But they all took Steve's side, did it even matter?

_Yes. It does._

"M-my parents. Did you know about my parents?"

If only he didn't stammer so much. He went back to staring at the attractive black marble floor and waited for the response, a debilitating blow he needed to prepare himself for. Because of course Sam knew, of course he chose-

"What do you mean? What about your parents?"

Tony's heart beat sounded loud in his ears. It shouldn't matter so much and yet-

"That they-they were killed by the-", he took a deep breath and swallowed slowly, raising his eyes gradually to Sam's hands that hung by his sides, forgotten, "-the Winter Soldier."

_Please. Please just..._

A beat. Then another. And another and-

"What?" Sam whispered but it sounded like a shout in the empty hallway. Tony risked a glance at Sam's face and stared. Gone was the frown. The man was looking back at him with horror written all over his face. Horror and concern.

"I...yeah." Tony replied in the exact same volume and exhaled. He don't know what else to say. He dropped his hands and clicked his fingers lightly.

"Tony, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise. Did you know about this before the Accords?" Sam's expression grew more and more serious as his eyes scanned the fidgeting genius, seeking an answer to the mess he'd just been introduced to.

The homeless billionaire just shook his head and bit his lip. Sam hadn't known.

Sam's face grew angrier as the dots connected. "When did you find out? Don't say it was when I sent you to Siberia." Tony stared back and didn't say a word, didn't need to because anyone could see what had happened. And Sam's expression had darkened considerably. Dare Tony say, he looked like an Avenger who'd just seen a scumbag rob someone of their puppy.

"Steve... he knew and didn't tell you did he?"

"No. He didn't."

"Why didn't you?" Tony frowned at the sudden growl in Sam's voice until he flicked his eyes up and realised that Sam wasn't looking at him anymore. He was looking past his shoulder and something told Tony that lunchtime had come early.

"I didn't want to hurt him." Steve's quiet voice drifted past Tony. Sam stood taller and glared.

"Who? Tony or Bucky? Because from where I'm standing, you were probably worried Tony would hurt Bucky instead of the other way round!"

"Both of them, obviously. I care about them both, I didn't want them to hurt each other."

"Bullshit! We should've trusted Tony from the start and you know it-you admitted it! And you damn well know you should have just told him about his parents beforehand! Why would you even hide it when Tony was willing to help!?"

That was a fair point. Why hadn't Steve just told him from the start? He would've still helped Bucky, he's not insane. His hands shook but he fixed his gaze firmly back to the floor. Even though this was about him, he almost felt like he'd be told to get back if he got involved. Sam was that pissed.

"I didn't know if he would! Would you help someone who murdered your parents!? How could I ask that of Tony or anyone!?"

The tension in the air thickened so quickly, it left Tony momentarily breathless. He was genuinely afraid that Sam would try to hit Steve with Redwing or something.

"Steve, maybe you or I would say no, but Tony wouldn't. He'd still help but you pushed him over the edge and then didn't tell us! You treated him unfairly and he didn't deserve that." Sam had lowered his volume but he was still seething with residual anger and Tony was still here in the middle of this!

But Sam was on his side. It was incredible to think he was actually being backed up over this, especially against Steve. Nothing would have made him expect that, not from anyone on this earth.

Steve's voice softened and Tony could almost hear the regret forming in the next words. "Tony, look at me please."

Tony turned as if being controlled by Dummy, the movement feeling unnatural to him and brand new. He was curious to see Steve's expression, in a weird detached sort of way. He'd always envisioned this conversation and here he was, not even saying a word through it.

Steve's blue eyes were full of grief but he was frowning in concern. He looked up at Tony and stared at him for a few seconds.

"I'm so _so_ sorry Tony. I made a huge mistake and I'll do anything to make it better. I didn't mean to hurt you and you...you have to believe that."

It was funny. That apology he'd been dying to hear from Steve's lips, the minute he received that letter, felt nowhere near as good as it should have been. Now he just felt a bit empty-hollowed out. Like some part of him had expected this but hadn't prepared for how little it'd change.

He was resigned to how inevitable betrayal was. Words didn't change that even if Steve had come for him.

"It's okay. It's fine, I will forgive you Steve. Eventually." Tony sighed out, feeling suddenly dizzy. There was no point holding a grudge, the damage had been done. What did it matter that Steve had taken care of him yesterday, he'd still walk out any day for someone better. Story of Tony's life right from day one.

Everyone he'd known had done the same except for Rhodey, but who was he kidding, Rhodey was already starting to get sick of him in the Compound. Tony wasn't surprised to be honest. He would get sick of himself too if he had been paralysed by Ironman.

"Tony, you can't just be so relaxed about this! He owes you a lot more than just an apology!" Sam yelled at him but his gaze held onto Steve's, who's watery eyes were so damn wide, you'd almost think Hitler had punched him back.

"It won't make a difference what he does. I don't think I can trust anyone again anyway." He said calmly and then waved his hands in a sweeping gesture, shaking his head gently.

"It's all good. Steve came and saved me from Ross after leaving me in Siberia. So that makes us even. Consider yourself forgiven."

Having listened to Tony, Steve's expression had sunken to a dim, resigned look. Tony thought he looked a bit ill since he'd gone so pale.

 _Ha, they were competing. A civil war could happen_ , he thought distantly.

Steve looked up, down, to the sides, blue eyes dark and moving-Tony couldn't tell what he was processing in that blond head of his but something was definitely happening. Steve could've been coming up with a game pla-oh, yeah, that was his Captain America face.

Captain America locked Ironman down with one look and spoke clearly. "I'm not forgiven. I owe it to you to prove myself. I will make you trust me again Tony and I will show you how important you are to m-all of us."

Was he about to say something else? Anyway all of this was pointless and frankly, Tony didn't care what Steve had to say. He'd heard it all before so best not to listen and become the fly that falls into the spiders web because they're so drawn by the voice of their childhood sweetheart. Wait...

"Sam said some of you guys are gonna get Rhodey and Vision? Is that really happening? And what about Natasha and Laura?" The words fell out of his mouth quickly and he focussed on Steve's huge arms to stave off the panic of thinking about Nat and the Bartons. More lives on the line because of him.  
  
The image of Captain America shattered in an instant and Steve looked away from the Iron Avenger. Tony hoped he'd let the tense moment slide and just answer the questions, instead of standing there pretending to look guilty.

"Yes. We've briefed the team and they're just waiting for an all clear from T'Challa. His sources have said Rhodes and Vision are perfectly fine and Ross hasn't even spoken to them yet. And apparently they've been looking for you. They were about to contact Pepper to hold a press conference to get word out that you were missing but T'Challa and I coordinated a response to Rhodes to tell him we had you and that we were gonna bring them here. Since then, he's stayed put and he knows where our meeting point is."

"Which is where?"

"Malibu, where your old address was. It's safe, familiar and all parties involved know the location."

"Okay. Okay, great. And Nat and Laura?" Tony tried not to think about how everyone in the USA knew where his old address was, no thanks to the Mandarin. And himself obviously.

The Captain made to say something but paused. "T'Challa hasn't got coordinates yet. We've sent a message to Natasha via a private line we established and we're waiting for a reply."

He bit his lip and he shook his head firmly. "That won't work. That just won't-I need to go-" he turned his feet towards the corridor and pushed forward, only to be grabbed by the shoulders by Steve's gigantic hands. Seriously they were huge.

"Tony, you need to be here. We will find them, I promise. But-"

"Yeah, yeah I'm a target and all that. _To **Hell**_ with all of your bullshit promises! I don't need anymore of those!" Why was he screaming? He knew this was pointless and yet-

"If anything happens to them, I won't be able to live with myself. Don't you see!? It's my fault and now they're in danger! All because I-" he lowered his hands. When did he raise them? In fact, why was he breathing so quickly? Was he hyperventilating? "- was so wrapped up in you lying to me and leaving me behind that I forgot about my responsibility to them."

He trembled with rage and turned to look Steve directly in the eye but he stopped dead and gaped at what he saw. Clear tears were running down Steve's face in straight lines, each tears' path perfectly marked out by its predecessor. His face was flushed red and blotchy but he didn't make a noise at all. He just stood there, inhaling and exhaling slowly, like he didn't want to acknowledge that he was finally having a breakdown. Quite frankly, the whole image freaked Tony out enough to stop him.

"Tony." His voice shook but he didn't dare look away from Tony and his grip remained firm around Tony's shoulders. "It's not just your responsibility. It's mine too. And it's not your fault I left you and lied."

His hands slid off Tony's shoulders but brushed his sides gently almost with a sense of longing. Whatever strings of tension Steve had been attached to, had been cut and he sagged under the weight of his mistakes. Tony knew because his own body probably reflected the same.

They stared at each other, both sets of lips quivering, both pairs of brown and blue eyes full and red rimmed, both, with such a heavy weight on their shoulders.

Tony couldn't help but wonder if maybe Steve actually did feel guilty after all-that it wasn't all for show. Now that Tony was looking, really looking, he could see the reflection as clearly as if he was looking at a mirror.

Behind them, Sam cleared his throat and sighed. "I'm going to have to tell the team Steve. They deserve to know. Clint especially since he keeps blaming Tony for every damn papercut he gets." Somewhere in his mind, Tony pictured the eye roll and watched as Sam pushed past both lost Avengers and disappeared into the corridor.

That left the two of them to awkwardly stare at each other's expressions in equal shock and shame and some apparent feeling of abandonment. They really had lost a lot.

A minute passed in silence then Steve raised his hand and nearly touched Tony's face but stopped, a mere inch away from his red cheek. Then he directed that hand to rub at the tears under his own eyes instead. Tony still stood frozen when Steve tried to salvage this again.

"Do...do you even want to get lunch with me? I understand if you don't. I probably wouldn't to be honest." Steve's eyes had been cleared of the tears but they were looking down, hidden away and his shoulders were drawn in and hunched slightly. Even his hair seemed to be flat and lacking. His body screamed that he was on some kind of proverbial edge and Tony's mind was torn.

On one hand he wanted to tell Steve that yes, he was not going to eat with the man who had lied to him and abandoned him after telling him they should stand together. He could shove it.

But on the other hand he _hated_ seeing Captain America, Steve Rogers looking so distraught. How could he blame Steve when he'd also lost it in the heat of the moment and he would do the same for Rhodey too? Everyone was wrong about something and if he held everything against others, he'd be a huge hypocrite.

And it wasn't Steve's fault Tony was the way he was. He was meant to be the person people never trusted, he was meant to be second and that was okay. It didn't matter what he did or said, or how trustworthy he really was or how much he tried to help people. He was who he was. And that meant he would not be anyone's first priority.

It was fine. Really. He just needed to fully come to terms with it.

The genius swallowed and tapped his fingers against his chest, a classic nervous habit anyone could recognise from him. "Let's get lunch. In order to-you know, I'm hungry so let's go." He shuffled his feet and gave a soft smile. He was resigned.

In that moment he made a decision. This was going to be his first step and honestly he was a little proud of himself. He was going to accept how things were. He was going to function on his own and accept that he wasn't loved and that it was okay. You can't be disappointed if you never expected anything in the first place.

He knew what he was going to do now. He would wait for Rhodey and Vision and then he would find Natasha and Clint's family and then he would leave Wakanda and retire quietly somewhere-maybe become a small town mechanic in Rosehill Tennessee. Change his name, hang up the Ironman suit and live quietly, away from the press, the Avengers and Rhodey and Pepper and Steve.

It was time he stop trying so hard for people and take a step back. It wasn't his right to expect the same relationships as the other Avengers and he certainly could not expect anything to come out of what he had with Steve. If they even had anything to begin with and honestly, it was probably wishful thinking anyway.

Steve rubbed his nose and stood there, watching him for god knows how long and seemingly trying to work out what the smaller Avenger had been thinking. Eventually he made a decision and broke the silence, pointing in the general direction of the cafeteria and muttering a few words.

"Okay. Okay, let's head that way."

Tony nodded and together they silently dragged their heavy, lead bearing feet towards the source of food but nothing seemed to remove the general feeling of tension, despair and sickness in the air. 

 

* * *

 

"So do you prefer mash or chips?"

"Hmmm chips. You?"

"Mash. My mom made the best mash, especially when I was sick. Which was a lot back then."

"...that makes sense."

The tension was still heavy, like a thick sheet above them but they both seemed to want to shake it off after the hectic corridor clash, and hence the small talk. For a pair of heroes who fought so much, they seemed to hate _fighting_.

They'd walked into the somewhat busy cafeteria, picked up blue plastic trays of warm food (some sort of chicken display with plenty of salad) and sat opposite each other on a small table in the corner by glass windows facing the jungle. Apparently Captain America was entitled to a little more because his portion was practically double the amount of a standard fugitive's meal.

When Tony caught a glimpse of the leaning tower of veggies on the Captain's tray he instantly thought of Bruce. He missed him.

"Do you ever think of Bruce? Ever wonder what he's doing?" Tony wanted to know. He often found himself wondering from time to time when he was staring at a piece of the hulkbuster in the lab back in the compound.

Steve took a bite of the seasoned chicken and chewed thoughtfully. "I do wonder. But honestly I thought about what you were doing more." He stabbed his fork into the broccoli and let his leaning tower crash. Tony was mesmerised, wondering if there was an analogy in there somewhere.

"Sometimes I'd look at a tablet and think of you because you gave me my first tablet. Sometimes I'd look around and notice a phone lying around and instantly think it's a Starkphone." Steve took a sip of water and leaned back, clear sharp eyes fixed on the plastic of Tony's tray. It wasn't fair how Steve could go from being an absolute wreck to a perfect adoni within five minutes. It took Tony a night at least.

"Sometimes I'd pick up that block of a phone and stare at it for a while." He looked up at the billionaire. "Did you ever think of using it?"

Tony wanted to laugh. There wasn't a time he could think of where he didn't think about it. In fact, his past few weeks had revolved around the unofficial Avengers and Steve was the prime reason for that. Steve and his general lack of listening skills.

"I can listen."

Tony stopped glaring at his lettuce and looked up. "What?"

Steve gave a sad smile and looked at him softly. "You think I don't but I do. I've always listened to you." He looked out of the glass windows that revealed the leaves of the jungle in the centre of the complex and Tony copied him. The whole building seemed to be built as a glass square around this tropical jungle. Tony liked all of the windows everywhere because it reminded him of his Malibu home and felt much lighter, like the air wanted to breathe happiness or some kind of positive energy.

"Bucky wants to take you to see some panthers apparently. What do you think of that idea?"

Tony looked sharply at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"I'm glad you're up for it because I told him you and I would be joining him in a while. T'Challa insisted." Steve said smugly as he spooned some more chicken into his mouth. Tony wanted to wipe the stupid grin off his face.

"Who said I wanna do anything with you or your Bucky-boy?"

The look he got was so unimpressed it reminded of his dad. Maybe Steve's patience was finally starting to run out. "You don't have to do anything. But I think it'd be good for us to keep our mind occupied while the others retrieve Rhodes and Vision." Steve pointed out calmly. 

"Fine. Panthers it is."

"I want you to spend some time with Bucky. I want you to-"

"There's a lot of 'I wants' in there."

Steve put his cutlery down and rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like that but I want- it might be a good idea to be completely honest from the start. Damnit, I want us to be close Tony. My mistake was not being honest, so I'm trying to be." They stared at each other for a moment. Then-

"Can I be honest?"

"Please do Tony."

"I don't think we can be close. I don't think anyone can be close to me."

Why was Steve staring at him like that? It was an obvious fact.

"Why would you say that?"

The genius shrugged and smiled easily. He was feeling more like himself today and could build up his walls with more ease. "I'm just not the sort of person people like. I'm not someone people...care about. I think." He blinked several times but kept smiling. He felt much better.

His Captain was shaking his head roughly with each word and drilling his gaze into him. "Tony no. People _do_ care about you. _I_ care about you." Steve leaned back, levelled his gaze and looked at him warily. "You really think that, don't you?"

Tony carried on smiling despite his vision starting to blur. He felt so empty. "Look at the people around us. Clint and Natasha still have each other's backs after everything. They have history and they genuinely care about each other. There's Jane who Thor would probably venture to crazy asgardian realms to save if something happened to her. There's Sam who would put everything aside to help you because you're like brothers. And then there's Bucky who you'd break international laws for. Would travel half way across the world to keep him safe. The way I see it, that's something you do for someone you love. I'm not talking about romantic love specifically. I just-"

His throat felt so dry so he swallowed carefully. "-I've never had any kind of care like that except from Rhodey. And he probably can't stand me anymore. My father didn't care so much about me as far as what I could do for Stark industries and Obie tried to kill me. I hardly saw my mother growing up because I was sent to boarding school early. Pepper said she loved me so much but when I had nightmares so bad I couldn't think straight, she'd get up from the bed and leave. No questions on what I was dreaming about. She'd just leave. Natasha did too, because she can't stand to stay. The Avengers, Bruce it's all the same. And now...you've left too. So what does that prove?" Tony could feel his threat tighten and his eyes watered badly. To his horror, he let out a tiny sob and covered his mouth, leaning forward. Why didn't anyone care? Why had his life been so...so...

_He. Was. **Fine.**_

Words kept pouring out of his mouth. "I never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to help to make up for what I did. But why do so many people hurt me? Did I do something so wrong that no one can stand me?" He gasped out through his palm and finally the dam broke. Tears streamed down his face as he shuddered with silent sobs into his hand and he scrunched his eyes tight. What was the answer? He must have done something so wrong that everyone could see that he just can't. But he didn't think he was a bad person so why? He Liked people. He liked to make people happy. So why him? Why did people hate him so much?

He should stop lying to himself. This wasn't fine.

Warm, muscled arms enclosed him and pulled him tight against a broad chest. The chest was shuddering too and maybe Steve finally saw what he saw, maybe someone could finally help him understand what he had denied all these years. Why no one cared about him.

"Shhh shhhh. Oh god I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me. I'll make this right I swear to you, I won't leave you ever again. You're amazing Tony, there's nothing wrong with you. God you're so good Tony, I'm so sorry. This isn't fair and it's my fault." Steve whispered into his curls and buried his face in them. Tony didn't know how but suddenly he was clutching Steve's shirt, wrapped up tight in the supersoldier's arms with his face pressed into Steve's neck. Steve leaned over him and rocked him gently, tightening his grip.

"I'm never letting you go again and I'm gonna prove it to you."

Steve sounded so dead set and Tony wanted to believe it but just couldn't. He felt drained, going back and forth in circles between wanting to believe and not being able to. How long was he going to wallow like this? He wanted to stop thinking like this so badly.

"Steve-Hey, is he okay? Should I grab him some water?"

"I made a mistake. God I made a mistake." Steve murmured into his hair, almost like a prayer. It was very strange to hear.

Tony was distracted from Steve's arms by being pushed back into his chair gently and having cool glass pressed to his lips again and he instinctively opened his mouth to drink some water. Steve rubbed his back in circles, soothing and calming him which helped his shaking body.

A thought struck Tony so he turned his head away from the glass and stared at the long haired figure kneeling in front of him. Someone should really give him a water bottle.

"Are you feeding me water again!?"

Bucky smirked lightly but there was tightness in his muscles, creating an air of concern. "Maybe. Someone's got to make sure you're hydrated mini-Stark."

Tony raised an eyebrow and cupped the glass in his hands, pointedly ignoring his wet cheeks. "What's with that anyway?"

"What?"

"Mini-Stark?"

The soldier flicked his greyish eyes (slate?) to his fellow soldier before answering with a grin. "That's for later. I'll explain after panthers."

Tony reached up and wiped his face several times but the evidence was there and unlikely to be forgotten. Maybe it was best to just explain a bit. After all, he was _so_ good at talking.

"You didn't answer me Steve. What's wrong with me?" He sighed and continued to swipe his face a few times. Steve knelt in front of him slowly and gently cupped his cheeks, similar to when they were on the raft. Tony instinctively relaxed at the feeling of warm hands holding him, if he focused hard enough he could make out the natural curves and lines of the palms. These were Steve's hands alright, firm but soft at the same time.

Did he do this often to people?

Steve looked at him carefully. "There's nothing wrong with you. Nothin-hey, look at me! You're such a good person Tony, you deserve the best. I'm gonna make sure you get that. I promise."

Tony could only stare into the blue eyes and wonder. Should he give Steve another chance? How does one move on from a past of lies?

_He came for you. On the raft he could've left you for Ross but he came for you. He took care of you last night. He's still trying for no reason other than what he's saying. These are not lies._

Tony squeezed his eyes shut tight and gripped Steve's wrists. Honesty all the way. "I don't know if I can take being left behind like that again. I hate feeling like this, like no one cares. It makes me feel...on edge."

He could feel Steve's breath brush over his face and the heat of the Captain's gaze on him. "You won't be feeling this way for long. I won't let it happen. I promise Tony. I just want you to be happy." Steve cleared his throat. "I'll make sure you're happy." He whispered.

It was like the world had just the two of them and no one else. When Tony opened his eyes, it was to Steve's unwavering gaze on him, not shifting for even a second, not for the noises of the mess hall around them or the faint words of Bucky next to them. Not for anything, because in this moment Steve was looking at him and only him and no one else mattered more.

Tony desperately hoped his feeling was right. He hoped that trusting his gut instinct was the right thing to do. This could go so badly, he could be hurt and not come back from it-there was only so many times he could bounce back.

Steve's determined expression said otherwise.

God help him.

"Okay. Okay." He whispered into the soft space between them, conceding to Steve. "I'll try to believe you. One more time." He didn't need to say it-the message was clear.

_Please don't hurt me again. I won't survive it._

Steve didn't smile, but it was almost like something had ignited in his eyes, they were shining like there was no tomorrow.

"I won't let you down. I'll make you happy, I promise."

 

* * *

 

After the emotional food trap in the cafeteria, the ex co-leaders of the Avengers had gotten a grip and listened to Bucky's wary questions. Apparently he'd been trying to get their attention but they'd been lost in each other's eyes. Tony didn't look into that too much (ha, look!) and asked about panthers which was how the three ended up here, trekking through leaf after leaf, under a canopy of thick green that didn't let any sunlight in. It really reminded Tony of typical rainforests. He just hoped there weren't any poisonous frogs or anything.

"So, what exactly am I expecting here?" He questioned warily, swiping more leaves out of his way to find-oh! More leaves.

Bucky led the way with Steve covering his back. It did strike the genius as slightly ironic that they were here, scrambling through the Wakandan jungle when only a month ago, they were at each other's throats.

"Just you wait. Steve had the same reactions until he got to the centre. Or at least that's what king cat told me." Bucky threw over his shoulder, which Tony barely saw because a leaf sprang up in his face to slap him. Thankfully Steve caught the leaf before it could and smiled at him.

"It's worth it. Come on, when was the last time you went on vacation?"

"I can't remember. Tropics aren't really my thing. Also I tan easily." He grumbled pushing forward, trying to follow Bucky's trail.

"It's the Italian in you. Your skin is just made for the sun." Bucky commented dryly but Steve seemed to eagerly agree.

"Yes. You always look good. I've never met anyone with skin like yours. I remember when you'd just come back from a conference in Malibu and you came back looking almost golden."

Tony remembered that actually. He'd spent some time in his Malibu home on the beach after the conference and had come back with a darker complexion and the best pair of sunglasses he could find in his house. He'd loved those sunglasses and could recall Natasha pointing out how good they looked. He hadn't really given much thought to his skin tone though.

"Mmm your sunglasses looked great, but your skin tone set it off." Steve pondered with a smile which turned sheepish when Tony raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're-"

"We're here! Check it out!" Bucky yelled and held the leaves apart for them.

The three had reached a clearing in the forest with a large watering hole for animals in the centre. Weeping trees hung over the pool, giving shade to several dark beautiful adult panthers that were refreshing themselves with a drink whilst draping themselves over large smooth rocks. A small platform hovered over the crystal clear water, clearly built for humans to stand and get a closer look at the pride of Wakanda.

Tony marvelled at the site in awe, his eyes nearly double their usual size. "Wow. This is amazing. They're so majestic."

"Careful. Don't want to swallow any flies." Steve's smug voice rolled over him and he quickly closed his gaping mouth.

Bucky whistled lightly and rocked on the balls of his feet. "This is pretty darn impressive. T'Challa is one saucy king."

"Can we stand on the platform please?" Tony desperately wanted to get a closer look. He'd never seen such amazing animals before and they were an anatomical masterpiece.

Steve didn't answer but guided him onto the platform with an arm around his waist. They sat down over the edge and stared at their reflections down below, swinging their feet back and forth over the water. Behind them, Bucky was shuffling on the mainland, doing something with the plush grass. The platform was theirs for now.

"This is really nice. I've never seen any animals like these and definitely not this close." Tony said and smiled broadly when one panther stood up on all fours and stretched lazily.

Steve laughed at the site of the same panther and curled his arm around Tony more, pulling him closer. "They're really something. You've never been to a zoo or anything?" He asked.

The Avenger paused and pondered for a moment. "No, never. My parents didn't want me anywhere too public in case I was kidnapped. Jarvis got me a picture book once though. It had pop up animals." Thinking about it now, he wondered if the pictures had been accurate.

Then again, pictures probably didn't do these gorgeous mammals any justice. You couldn't really capture this in one shot.

Tony felt Steve's gaze but when he looked back, Steve was staring at the panthers again. The arm around his waist flexed and the blond licked his lips. "I could take you to a zoo if you like."

It didn't click initially. So he twisted his body to face Steve and ended up giving a totally stupid response. "Why would you take me to a zoo?"

The arm slid off his back and Tony saw Steve's blank expression in the water. "Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

That wasn't good. Damnit he hadn't realised Steve would take that as some kind of rejection or reason to remove his arm. "Hey I didn't say no. We can go to a zoo. If you want." Now it was Tony's turn to lick his lips nervously and he had no idea why.

For a moment there was silence between them. Then, Steve's arm shifted and...returned to his own lap. Tony whined internally at the loss of such a great arm.

"I would like to take you Tony. But only if you want to. I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you."

Something about the way that was phrased, stirred a side thought in the genius' mind. "You're not forcing me. I'd like to go. Hell if it has animals like panthers, I'm in!" Tony flashed a grin at the relaxed panthers and imagined being a panther lying on a rock. Would he look that great too?

When Steve caught his grin, he returned it simultaneously and lit up  
like _he_ was a panther. A very blond beautiful panther with big quadriceps. "Yeah? I'll take you to the best zoo there is. It'll be swell, lots of animals and I'll organise a session where you can hold them. How does that sound?" Steve seemed to stare off into the distance, eyes flickering like they often did when he was strategising. It often ended with rash decisions but Tony found he didn't mind so much in this case. If he was given a dozen penguins by the end of this he wouldn't complain.

"Would there be penguins? I've always wanted to see a penguin."

Steve looked at him sharply and dead seriously. "You want penguins? You'll get lots of penguins."

Tony couldn't contain his smile at the sheer craziness of the thought. He couldn't stop imagining what it would be like with all the Avengers roaming around. A day to remember for sure. "That would be awesome Steve."

Steve's sharp look melted into a soft one and he replied wistfully. "It really would be. I'd be honoured."

That momentarily distracted Tony. That side thought burned bright. Why would he be-oh. Oh!

"Steve is it a da-"

"Hey! Guys look what I have right here! I found two!" It seemed their alone time was up and they both twisted around to see what Bucky had accomplished and there he was tall and gleaming.

The Winter Soldier stood before them with a crown of long grass in his hair, clutching two of the cutest balls of dark fur. The balls shuffled in his arms and were about the size of a small daschund but were much fluffier than your average sausage dog. Both had silky black fur and pale blue eyes similar to the colour of the water and Tony was just dying to maybe stroke or at least touch one.

"Two baby panthers at your service. His highness had told me they roamed around the grass a lot so I made myself a grass hat and hid in the grass till they approached me." Bucky sounded so proud of himself for camouflaging successfully in front of baby panthers but Tony nearly laughed at the thought of the Winter Soldier crouched in grass waiting for days like a rock for something to approach him. Steve didn't bother hiding his laugh and pointed at his head.

"Did you make that from branches and grass?" Steve snickered but Bucky just looked at him with an incredibly unimpressed look.

"Did you find any baby panthers? I don't think so punk. You appreciate my skill, don't you mini-Stark?" Bucky asked eagerly, giving Tony a hopeful smile and holding the panthers up even higher. And yeah, looking at them would make anyone appreciate the effort.

"Yes. I think they're awesome."

Steve glared when Bucky gave him a shit-eating grin and stepped forward with his squirming bundle close to his chest. "Here we go. Delivery for mini-Stark. Cross your legs."

Steve instantly lifted his knees up which forced him to edge away from the end of the platform and cross his legs quickly. It caught him completely by surprise when Bucky leaned over and dumped the two cubs into his lap, letting them roll and paw at his knees for a moment. He jolted at the realisation that he had baby panthers in his lap and instantly reached for one when it started to step out towards the end of the platform, curiosity skewing its judgement.

"Argh help! They may get hurt!" Tony yelled out at the two super soldiers but cuddled the shifty baby panther close to his chest while the other rolled onto its back and stretched its paw upwards, in his lap. They smelled like the outdoors, greenery and freshly cut grass and their fur was so soft and smooth with pale blue eyes watching him curiously for any sign of danger. It was exciting to think that these cubs would grow up to be as majestic and graceful as their parents opposite the watering hole. They had so much potential and Tony wanted to believe they would lead a life full of love and happiness and freedom and weirdly enough, that made him feel hopeful.

A click pulled him from his thoughts, followed by about, a dozen more. Camera shutters, but from a phone.

"Smile Tony!" Tony turned and felt his lips curve up despite himself when he saw Steve and Bucky taking pictures of him with their phones. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had genuinely wanted to take a picture of him that wasn't the press. Except that party after they found Loki's sceptre.

Bucky grabbed Steve's phone and pushed his shoulders towards the fur set. "Go on Steve, it's a group of mini things, sit next to them for nostalgias sake."

Steve chuckled and sat beside Tony. "I'm not that small anymore you know."

"True but you're still a punk. Smile." More clicks were heard and Steve reached for the little panther in Tony's lap and lifted it into his arms, smiling when it yawned. "You're an adorable one aren't you. Imagine how strong you'll be when you grow up!" He cooed and then turned the cub around to mimic Tony's way of holding the panther for a picture.

"I see you have found my panthers." The king of Wakanda said as he glided onto the platform and looked at the two heroes with their two baby panthers from behind Bucky's shoulder. He smiled gently at the sight and huffed lightly.

"They suit you. There is a belief we have here. If panthers welcome you into their pride then you are strong in mind and soul. And those who can tame the panthers are the strongest of all."

Tony lifted his head and looked up at the king with a smirk. "You fall into that category I'm guessing."

T'Challa looked across at the adult panthers with a gleam in his eyes. "Folk often believe these panthers are tamed by a fierce show of strength but in actuality..." he eyed Tony and Steve carefully on his next words. "It is gentle nurturing that is the key. Affection and care often from a young age teaches the cubs that you mean no harm and are a benefit to them. Thus they grow up to see you as family." He watched them hold the panthers gently. "I do believe you two fall into this category."

Steve looked at him and bowed his head in the king's direction respectfully. "And you, your highness?"

T'Challa smiled. "And me. That is a part of being the king I believe. Now I don't wish to ask you to part with the cubs but Colonel Rhodes and Vision have arrived and they are eager to see Tony. They have requested he be brought back promptly. James, if you wish, stand by these two and I will take your picture for you."

After a few pictures with Bucky crouching behind the pair, Steve nodded his thanks to T'Challa and let Bucky pick up both cubs to return them to where they were found. While they waited for Bucky, Tony and Steve stood by the king who looked slightly anxious.

"Your highness, is there something wrong?" Tony prayed Rhodey and Vision were okay but he had to prepare for the worst. Thankfully T'Challa shook his head at him.

"You need not worry. Your friends are unharmed and well, though I will say they did enquire about your health and safety. Captain Rogers...there is something to be discussed."

Steve had been watching carefully with a grim expression. "Yes?" He paused and rubbed his eyes. "I think I can guess what this is about."

From what Tony could tell, there was another conversation going on because both the Black Panther and Captain America were sharing a grim look. What the hell was going on?

"Your teammates wish to speak to you regarding the matter at hand. They want you to resign as an Avenger."

* * *

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was difficult-I wrote, wrote, rewrote and wrote some more so let me know what you think-I'm very interested to see how peeps feel about it and comments will be very helpful in letting me know if this was a liked chapter so please do comment so I can tweak the next chapter accordingly-I would also love to know if people have any theories on what's going to happen next-I would love to hear them!!!
> 
> Thankyou to everyone for your patience and ongoing support-it really motivates me to keep going :DDD


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